Joel Lee21 April 2018
In a shocking announcement, the University of Melbourne has revealed the implementation of an anti-cheating software capable of recording every single thought experienced by any given student.
In a pathetic attempt to salvage as much of his unavoidably dismal tutorial participation mark as possible, local dropkick John Lin has reportedly leapt at the opportunity to answer the easiest of seven tutorial questions.
According to sources, University College student Isabella Jonas’ quality of life has been severely diminished following her placement in an unavoidable tutorial at 8am.
“Well the way I see it, I’ve already done half the work—or 30 per cent of the work if you go by my grade. So really if I just do what I did last semester then I should at least be angling for a 60 per cent.”
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