The Grub

Model UN Conference Conclusively Solves Palestine Crisis

2 March 2018

World leaders have praised a Model United Nations conference after it conclusively solved the Israeli-Palestinian crisis on Tuesday.

Delegates for the United States Dmitri Papadimitriou and Isaac Wong, both 18, proposed a treaty between Israel and the Palestinians in the mock UN debate so effective it has now seen peace on the Gaza strip. Mr Papadimitriou has agreed to speak with Farrago about his solution to the crisis.

“It was quite easy really,” he said, “I think people tend to overcomplicate things in their heads, but it only took us a few minutes to write it up.”

The treaty was shared online and viewed by millions, including the Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu and Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas. They were urged by all militias involved to accept the terms outlined by the 18-year-olds from Brunswick.

The last bullet was fired just moments before the treaty was signed. Photos of Palestinians and Israelis holding hands in solidarity have now gone viral, and the long process of rebuilding the cities has begun; Palestinians and Israelis alike helping each other like brothers. The two leaders have personally thanked the delegates for the peace they have ensured.

Syrian President Bashar al-Assad is said to have already contacted the teenagers and requested they help him resolve the Syrian crisis while they’re at it. The new treaty is expected to be released tomorrow.

Meanwhile, the actual UN has failed to acknowledge the treaty or make any comment to congratulate the delegates. The organisation has been heavily criticised by world leaders, not just by their former ineptitude, but for their lack of professionalism.

António Guterres has declined to comment to The Grub.

Headline by Alex D. Epstein.
Article by James Gordon.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *