Flash Fiction Four: Fantasy and Fables21 May 2018
Image by Ilsa Harun
THE MYTHIC AND THE FABULAR FANTASTIC IN 100 WORDS AND UNDER
Long ago, Snow White’s ancestors invaded a beautiful, sunny land. There she lived in the Queen’s care. The Queen asked her magic mirror, “Who is the fairest in the land?”
It replied, “If you mean fair as in pale, it’s Snow White. But don’t hold yourself to the beauty standards of your oppressors. Love yourself.”
Snow White knew the Queen was jealous of her vanilla yoghurt complexion. She ran away. Out in the hot sun, without melanin or sunscreen to protect her, her skin grew red and shiny as a ripe apple, and she shrivelled up like an old witch.
Weary trumpets heralded his approach.
From her vantage point on top of the paved roof, hidden in the shadows of the chimney, she observed the prince leading the procession.
The dying sun caught the gold woven into his clothes as he waved at the cheering crowd, his chin held obnoxiously high. His skin was pale and unblemished, as though he had spent the entirety of the war campaign inside his tent, unlike the ragged soldiers following behind.
With swift, practised hands, she notched her bow. Let the arrow fly towards that pompous face.
WHAT LURKS IN THE WOODS
All the better to see you with
Red was twelve and half years old
An idiot, she was not
This was clearly a furry
It had to be!
What self-respecting wolf would willingly wear grandma’s clothes?
He had almost fooled her
His costume truly was impeccable
Red would’ve enquired about his tailor
Had he not given off creepy stalker vibes
Are you after my baked goods?
Mm… Yeah I want your goods
Oh! You don’t need such big teeth for cookies!
All the better to eat you with
…I’M NOT INTO VORE!!!
Cinderella fucked out of the party early. She was going to find her prince but he was nanging it up in Tin Alley so she went to Thursgay instead.
Odysseia begs the thorns stay
still above him and his ball.
A thorn sticks his sleeve like foam.
Petals slip the bloom
Snow White was enthusiastic in the group chat but got huffy when she actually saw the chore wheel on the fridge. That night she ate her sparrow-and-spinach triangles in her room (leaving the burnt tray in the oven) instead of getting UberEATS and watching Kath and Kim together. She never did clean the bathroom. Soon afterwards there was that drama with the apple, so everyone felt too awkward to mention it. Then of course she woke up, met some guy and moved out immediately. A few months later the dwarves unfollowed her on Instagram and forgot the whole business.
SEND US YOUR TINY WORDS: EDITION SIX’S PROMPT IS PUZZLES, RIDDLES AND LIMERICKS
Send your 100-word-and-under playful puns and terrible games to firstname.lastname@example.org