trying to sleep1 September 2018
if a bear shits in the woods and no-one is around to hear it, then does a bear shit in the woods?
whatever the hell
*miserably plays bongo drums*
SPICE GIRLS SCANDAL: most of these are not REAL spices!!
the sausage roll leader laughed, pastry cape lollygagging around him
“good lord, old chap, calm down! it’s only the eternal war!”
diet has the instruction DIE in it. we’re being brainwashed, people. vaccinations cause autumn
band name idea: the sandpaper boobs
that one time dad asked for 200 mL ham “give me your finest liquid ham”
*miserably plays maracas*
is there, like, a non-blasphemous way of saying godforsaken?
just “forsaken” i guess (quick, put the blasphemy back in!)
pine cone of silence
band name idea: the bellyflop brothers
humans just stab holes in their flesh then put pretty shiny things there
well that’s… lucid…
ghosts live in the keyhole
picture this: Holden Caulfield, doin’ the limbo
when you listen to ABBA lyrics those guys don’t really seem to have much self-respect but they’re glitzy about it so that’s OK i guess
who invented the word shemozzle and why
a bed is an elaborate sleeping bag. a trap.
higgledy piggledy and hodge podge both imply chaos and they both have h’s and p’s at the start of the words and have a rhyme scheme going on, if you see what I’m getting at…
ground control to Major Thomas, umm, excuse me,
band name idea: the telly-tobbles
i wonder how people with the name Chuck feel about that (“that” being the fact their name is Chuck.
it’s perpetually 3AM in anecdotes
crack a smile crack a safe crack a whip crack a knuckle crack a code crack reality
man those chicken skewers h ordered tonight looked like the skewers had developed a growth and they
decided to call that growth “chicken” and serve it with rice. i can’t stop thinking about it
when will we get the lunar panels we deserve?
how much wood wood wood
WELCOME TO YOKO ONO’S MIND
an uncomfortable combination of words: milk skin
the moon smiles her mysterious linguini smile
a jury of possums say it’s time for me to sleep
i am still awake