Poetry

TO ALL THE GIRLS I’VE LOVED BEFORE

24 October 2018

– 2012 –
She of the dark hair
We’re writing secret notes to each other and sticking them on each other’s binders.
The teacher side-eyes us while commenting on how ‘lesbianism’ is bad.
I snort.
That night, I lie in bed, rereading all of our notes I saved.
I smile.

– 2013 –
She of the yellow pants
I am about three seconds away from a complete breakdown.
She sees me as I walk down the corridor.
One look at my face and she just knows.
Her arms wrap around me.
I can breathe again.

– 2014 –
She of the big city
She talks about how attractive she finds Indian girls with curly hair.
I wonder if I am included on that list.
I wasn’t.

– 2016 –
She of the wanderlust
I send her drunken text messages
I love you. Iloveyou. I AM IN LOVE WITH YOU
I delete them while intoxicated.
When I wake up, I can’t remember her replies.

– 2017 –
She of the heart-shaped lips
We sit on the pavement, watching musicians busk.
There is a smile on her lips, she is completely content.
I watch her. I am completely content.
I wander the streets listlessly for weeks after she leaves.
I am lost.

– 2018 –
She of the choppy bangs
We are watching a movie, a Ghibli classic.
Our knees press against each other.
The protagonist loses her love.
Her head rests on my shoulder.
Love is found.


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