How to Emulate the Love Queens6 August 2019
Trick 1. Cook up a swarm of
and rotate enticingly around it.
Keep it on during sex and he’ll love you
Trick 2. Look up the symptoms
of bubonic plague
a clinically tested aphrodisiac
Trick 3. A sci-fi vibrator should be hand-
fed to your lover in the next-door garden
It’s saucy and generous all in one go
Trick 4. Chase boys… chase boys… chase boys…
with lots of foamy soap and
capitalize on it
At best it leads to
sad thoughts and everlasting
Trick 5. Can you roast a chicken seductively?
Does your underwear feel like a chastity belt?
Do U believe in luv at 1st site or do I have 2 walk by again?
Don’t be stupid. This isn’t 1850s South Carolina.
Sex is as natural as eating an ice lolly
but it’s a lot easier
if you’ve got ‘SCREW YOU!’ written across
your chest in felt tip
Yes, sometimes it’s good to be bad.