How to Emulate the Love Queens

6 August 2019

Trick 1. Cook up a swarm of

               killer bees

and rotate enticingly around it.

Keep it on during sex and he’ll love you



Trick 2. Look up the symptoms

of bubonic plague

                    a clinically tested aphrodisiac


Trick 3. A sci-fi vibrator should be hand-

fed to your lover in the next-door garden

               It’s saucy and generous all in one go


Trick 4. Chase boys… chase boys… chase boys…

               with lots of foamy soap and

               capitalize on it

At best it leads to

               sad thoughts                and         everlasting 



Trick 5. Can you roast a chicken seductively? 

               Does your underwear feel like a chastity belt?

                    Do U believe in luv at 1st site or do I have 2 walk by again?

Don’t be stupid. This isn’t 1850s South Carolina.


               Sex is as natural as eating an ice lolly

but it’s a lot easier

if you’ve got ‘SCREW YOU!’ written across

your chest in felt tip


Yes, sometimes it’s good to be bad.

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