satire

Suburban Mum Distressed That Neo-Nazi Slightly Mishandled Dog

24 November 2020

Content warning: racism, white supremacy

A video featuring an area man named Dick Wiener (54) yelling racist epithets has recently gained prominence on social media. Wiener, whose arms and legs are heavily tattooed with neo-Nazi symbols, is seen enthusiastically making white power gestures at the camera with one hand while pulling a tiny Shih Tzu somewhat tightly by its leash with the other.

Jolene Karen Maribelle, a stay-at-home mother and budding entrepreneur who runs a booming side hustle selling healing-crystal-infused essential oils on Etsy, confessed that the video had “shaken [her] to the core.”

“The way he was treating that little dog, y’all,” she said, trembling with righteous indignation, in a Zoom interview with Farrago. “We’re a lovely, welcoming community in these parts. We draw the line at such behaviour.”

Ms Maribelle has boldly taken the initiative to start an online petition condemning Mr Wiener for his “totally despicable” (sic) treatment of the Shih Tzu, which has gained over 10,000 signatures in 24 hours.

“I’m thrilled to see the town coming together like this,” she gushed, beaming.

A rival petition (currently at 30 signatures) calling to arrest Mr Wiener for harassment and ban the neo-Nazi organisation he is part of has also been circling social media. Ms Maribelle demanded that it be taken down immediately.

“Oh, I’m sure that was a big misunderstanding,” she commented, fluttering an airy hand. “Besides, we should focus on the real problems at hand.”

The PTA Ms Maribelle is president of has fully endorsed her efforts. A statement released by them read:

“In a situation where others would spew divisive rhetoric, we admire our colleague’s attempt to unify all parties behind animal welfare, which is the overriding bipartisan issue here.”

 

**Racists are up for mockery; racism is not. Reader, I encourage you to actively pursue anti-racist education and donate to racial justice causes whenever possible.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *