The Girl Who Searched for the Heavens

8 December 2020

One after another. Her tears bubbled up and slid down her cheeks with each hiccup that escaped. Her tiny frame trembled with each breath taken. Breezes blew all around her; not with encouragement but a reminder—the hollows of her near-past howled. Like the numbered pattern of a clock, bodies systematically lay around her and the Hands no longer told the time; only serving to be wrapped around her little form.

 “Unwind, untangle, right your angle, walk fro not to and you shall stumble upon the Heavens.” A passing wind whispered.

She lifted her head only to face a creature of a black and white swirling pattern floating in place with no discernible limbs. Its swirls came to a close as a blackhole in the very center of its being. “Who are you?” she moved her mouth, yet her voice had rotted. However, the creature understood and replied, “I am Undecided.” Its mouth stretched into an absurdly large toothy grin. The Girl tried to ponder but her withered mind could not handle the task it was given. To think, requires energy. To bring a thought into existence, requires action. Yet, will you?

She started unwinding, untangling. Her joints creaked as she made a strenuous effort to stand, against the gravity of her anguish. I…will. But…I cannot think; thoughts no longer grace me with their clatter, however, I will search for one.

Undecided hummed and swayed back and forth, “Where will you,” it tilted its head, “search for one?”

“The Heavens will grant me one,” she said, weakly yet surely. She walked forth, with the creature trailing closely behind her.

One step in snow, another in an array of flowers. One on cracked mud, another upon golden leaves that sent ticklish shivers to the bones. Undecided followed her without leaving a single footstep behind. What is he? She wondered at times, but for now decided to label him as a guardian of sorts. 

The ground upon which her delicate feet journeyed on, had never let the deep, dark red colour fade. One that carried on the tortured memories of the sufferers.

 “I will give you a hint!” Undecided lifted its finger to its mouth as if to shush any observation being made. The Girl raised her big, black eyes to meet its nonexistent ones, “Search for the stain unblemished since the beginning of Time.”

 “…Where?” a croaky whisper escaped her lips.

 “Look to the East, look to the West. Where do you think the feast lies best?” he tilted his head and she followed the same gesture.

She looked all around her, and a thought came skipping to her. A thought! A thought! Her eyes lit up as the rusty gears of her mind began their rotation after long last. She perked her ears at the genius idea that took formation in her young mind. Ah! That might work! She shut her eyes tight, pointed out her arm, and began spinning spinning spinning round round until she fell on her behind with her arm still pointed. The Girl opened her eyes and said with great confidence, “That’s the way to go!” and so they went.

“East? Is that the way you truly wish to go?” 

Her lips stretched slightly into a faint smile, “The Heavens are my guide.”

“Hmmm,” Undecided hummed as it followed closely behind.

They began their journey to the East and though it did not look much different from the West, it certainly exuded an unknown energy. As they travelled further and further in, she began regaining her lost vitality, growing stronger than ever before. 

She investigated every nook and cranny that came her way but the stain upon the world was yet to be found. Her newfound optimism guided her determination and soon she chanced upon bunched-up mountain ranges. The center. Need to find the center. Thoughts came to her more easily now and formed themselves into strategies. 

“The spot is the pot of luck, the spot is the pot of luck!” She sang repeatedly as they neared their undiscovered destination.

After much climbing they reached a field of flowers that stood tall like countless guards ready to defend their stronghold. The flowers were indeed much taller than her, “Shall we cut them down? Or pull them from their roots?” Undecided suggested in a rather serious manner, with its eyes locked onto hers and its ears hanging on to her every breath.

“We mustn’t. We mustn’t. Mother Nature has cried for so long and this is her last stand. To protect what must never be harmed.” she paused before continuing, “Some obstacles can be handled with gentler methods.” She stopped right in front of the flowers. Every flower; roses, irises, chrysanthemums, peonies, magnolias and hollyhocks, displayed their beauty with great splendour and exuded strong scents proudly. Each petal had an otherworldly silky sheen to it and tempted one to touch them. However, regardless of type, every flower protruded a myriad of thorns that threatened to cut at the slightest touch. The Girl walked straight in and swam her way through the field. Each thorn pricked her, drew blood, scarred her yet not a single complaint was uttered by her. This much at least, must be endured. Finally, she had made her way across and stumbled upon the Heavenly stain. 

The stain radiated a light unknown to this world; one that couldn’t be darkened despite attempts made in centuries past. “Thoughts were granted and humanity was restored within you.” the passing wind whispered once more.

“The Heavens? What of the…Heavens?” she asked.

“The search brought you to you, for the Heavens have always resided in you.”

The Girl had remembered, had realized and accepted. The breezes had tried to remind me, but I had forgotten. She smiled as she relaxed. The stain emitted a sense of peace and warmth that rejuvenated her body and soul, however, one thought came swirling back to her. She turned towards Undecided who stood observing her, “What are you?” she asked.

Its eyes told of the relief and delight it felt; and smiled gently as never before, “I am what I am. I reside in every I and guide when disconnect has thrown the mind and soul into disarray.”

“Where will you return to?”

“No need to return for I never departed,” It spoke as it glowed like the Heavenly stain and scattered across the land.


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