“Shame on you, Duncan!”: Students and staff rally against casualisation at Melbourne University

University of Melbourne staff and students rallied outside Vice-Chancellor Duncan Maskell’s Parkville mansion yesterday in opposition to the University’s growing casualisation of teaching staff.

Students and staff say no to the Robert Menzies Institute

Students gathered on South Lawn yesterday to protest the opening gala of the Liberal-backed think-tank Robert Menzies Institute (RMI).

An open letter to all student politicians

As sleek Facebook frames are slowly being removed from the profile pictures of university students in their early twenties, and social media feeds are returning to normal from constant ‘vote for me’ c

"Please don’t ask if we’ve tried yoga”: Students fighting for disability support

Despite the University’s push to make learning accessible, through programs such as SEDS and Access Melbourne, there have yet to be endorsements from students that these programs are appropriate. Inst

Cinemas Buckle Under the Weight of the Netflix Empire

Will Hollywood blockbuster-type films continue to use Netflix as their outlet, or will they return to their rightful spot on the big screen?



Counsel in Couplets

<p>How do I let him know that he can’t have a bite of whatever I’m eating without him thinking I don’t love him?</p>

FROM: Maggie Beer

My significant other and I have been together for three months now. Every fight we have is because I refuse to share food. How do I let him know that he can’t have a bite of whatever I’m eating without him thinking I don’t love him?

Dear Maggie, I understand your qualm
but think you’ve missed the boat,
More than a small change is needed
to keep this partnership afloat.
About something I must warn you, as your confidant —
Food has changed your couple into a triple entente.
It’s no longer just you and your partner’s lip:
Brownies are now part of this relationship.
Still, we’ve all been there: I feel your pain.
Why won’t he understand that it’s your quiche lorraine?
And when you do acquiesce to his “one small bite”,
He gobbles up half, which leads to a fight.
So what can you say so that he does not steal
The meal you got you? Can’t he see how you feel?
Try telling him you don’t want to share: honesty is key,
If he wants some, he can buy his own Bircher muesli.
And if he still does not listen, then Maggie, it’s up to you.
You must compromise and realise that you can change too.
After all, any relationship is founded on sharing,
Because, as the cliché goes, it shows that you’re caring.
You’ll share many things on the road ahead,
You share money, the chores and even a bed.
So use food as a practice and if you want to be greedy,
Buy another McFlurry: it’s really that easy.
If spilt milk doesn’t necessitate crying,
Then split milk can’t be that terrifying.
So to conclude, talk to your man ’bout your attitude to food
Expressing the feelings you’ve accrued doesn’t have to be rude.
But be mindful of the ways in which you can adjust,
Share your sandwich… okay perhaps just the crust.


Farrago's magazine cover - Edition Three 2021


Our final editions for the year are jam packed full of news, culture, photography, poetry, art, fiction and more...

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