Federal government to slash university debts for rural and regional nurses and doctors

The federal government has announced a new scheme which will wipe the university debts of nurses and doctors who work in rural, regional, and remote areas.

“Shame on you, Duncan!”: Students and staff rally against casualisation at Melbourne University

University of Melbourne staff and students rallied outside Vice-Chancellor Duncan Maskell’s Parkville mansion yesterday in opposition to the University’s growing casualisation of teaching staff.

Students and staff say no to the Robert Menzies Institute

Students gathered on South Lawn yesterday to protest the opening gala of the Liberal-backed think-tank Robert Menzies Institute (RMI).

An open letter to all student politicians

As sleek Facebook frames are slowly being removed from the profile pictures of university students in their early twenties, and social media feeds are returning to normal from constant ‘vote for me’ c

"Please don’t ask if we’ve tried yoga”: Students fighting for disability support

Despite the University’s push to make learning accessible, through programs such as SEDS and Access Melbourne, there have yet to be endorsements from students that these programs are appropriate. Inst



Counsel in Couplets: Jealousy

<p>Nick Parkinson presents: A column of poetic problem solving.</p>

From: Zachary

My best friend recently got a new girlfriend and their disgusting happiness has shattered my illusion that everything is alright and that I’m a stable human being who’s OK with being single. How do I manage the feelings of neglect and envy that twist my otherwise innocent heart?


“Oh, to be young and feel love’s keen sting”,

Dumbledore muses while adjusting Marvolo’s ring.

He’s certainly right, feelings are fickle things

But to your infatuated friend, it’s joy love brings.


First and foremost, if there’s anything pop music has shown us,

You can “still get jealous”: that’s not just for Nick Jonas.

It’s normal to feel neglected like a Pidgey in Pokémon,

And to waste away nights playing Lonely by Akon.

While these emotions may be unavoidable it’s how you act on them that counts,

So your first point of call’s being supportive — that’s paramount.

You never know: this friend’s new gf might become the Hermione to your Harry,

She’ll save your ass from danger and you’ll be the best man if they marry.

Use your friend’s preoccupation with this lass to branch out and try new activities,

You could meet your Ginny at Friday bowls: the world’s full of possibilities.

And if you’re still feeling more overlooked than Idol’s Shannol Noll,

Open up about your loneliness: sharing thoughts brings control.  

As for the envy, that’s something harder to fix.

We often want what we can’t have — I want flying broomsticks.

So time for real talk, you need to do you,

You’re not a half seeking half but a one seeking two.

You’re not Voldemort, left with a seventh of your soul.

You, Mr Zac, are one hell of a whole!

So even if you feel you’re not, as you say, a “stable human being”,

Remind yourself that thought’s a misguided fiction: naught but a dream.

So let your Oddish evolve into a Vileplume,

Slam the door—walk out that waiting room!

Be happy with yourself and you’ll be okay being solo,

No longer bitter in your friend’s enamoured glow.


So dear Zac, support this friend. But most of all find peace within you.

Ignore the acrid envy that’s battling to break through.

After all, as Dumbledore astutely concludes before sending Harry back to bed,

Don’t “dwell on dreams and forget to live”: love’s found outside the mirror of Erised.


Developed a woe that won’t let you go? Sent it to

Farrago's magazine cover - Edition Three 2021


Our final editions for the year are jam packed full of news, culture, photography, poetry, art, fiction and more...

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