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Why the Left Sucks: An Inquiry into Campus’s Most Hated Political Group

It is no exaggeration to say that The University of Melbourne is one of the largest breeding grounds for leftist thought in the country. For those of us who have been on campus–walked past the columns

Hey hey hey, it’s time to recap the Kooyong Leaders Debate piece

Poor Selina, she had to watch the whole debate.

The Aesthetics of Poverty – Why students at UniMelb are so keen to appear poor.

The discourse accusing this so-called ‘student aesthetic’ of fetishising poorness has surfaced within the past year on social media (especially TikTok) and in conversations between students on and off

Satire: Farrago Shuts Down; Honi Soit Now Australia's Oldest Student Publication

As of today, Farrago Magazine, Australia’s oldest student publication, will cease operations under the current four editors.

VCA Students Demand UniMelb to Commit to “Zero Tolerance” Policy

Students at the Victorian College of the Arts (VCA) are calling on the University of Melbourne to “commit to stronger policies and actions when it comes to sexual assault”, after the University ignore

 

Article

Slug.

<p>They do not see me and I am twelve when I creep into the top corner of the kitchen. I watch them pour tea and drop spoons for years and now I am giggling. </p>

(Content warning: implicit references to blood and violence)

I was twelve and they were giggling when I melted into the floorboards.

They were giggling and I was twelve when steaming blood became hard-polished.  

My lungs and lips slipped into the cracks and I was twelve and lost a tooth on the way.

I see the tooth as I slide through the floors and tickle their feet and they are giggling.

I am contorting and watching them giggling and bone marrow has seeped into the walls.  

They do not see me and I am twelve when I creep into the top corner of the kitchen. I watch them pour tea and drop spoons for years and now I am giggling.  

They are not twelve but I am a house and slither through the attics and rooms.

I whisper through cracks and observe them make love but they are not giggling. Sometimes I will scream and they will fall and I will hug them through the kitchen tiles.  When no one is home I will tear paint away because I am twelve and the floorboards are not giggling.

Strangers appear who are old and are giggling and I will creep beneath their feet and eat them. They will stomp me and I will retreat into the ceiling and watch them while giggling.

I am twelve and I am a house and they are trying to leave me.  I will cry and the house will start giggling and I will slither through its ruins, waiting.  

I am twelve and I am a house and they are screaming it’s haunted!  I will cry and the house will start giggling and I will slither through their ashes, waiting.

 
Farrago's magazine cover - Edition Four 2022

EDITION FOUR 2022 AVAILABLE NOW!

Saddle up! Farrago’s brand spanking new edition is here! It’s jam-packed with art, photography, news, non-fiction and creative writing; and it calls on you to “be the cowboy.” “But what does that mean?” you ask. Well, let the wise words of Mitski guide you… ”What would a swaggering cowboy riding into town do in this situation?”

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