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The Fairytale Gazette: Part 7

<p>Murder and general mayhem sound just like your good old-fashioned fairy tales, something left behind in the myths and legends that belong in forgotten derelict book-shelves. Beware sensationalism but the reality is that it’s all just life, kids.</p>

BREAKING: Fairytale Gazette currently fighting restrictions and intimidation tactics

Authors: EDITORS

The Fairytale Gazette has received an unprecedented amount of responses regarding last week’s article. Since the article was published the palace has released a statement outlined below:

“The criticism targeting the royal family after a very serious case of identity theft is entirely unfounded and unfair. Many of the allegations of human rights abuses have been fabricated, are unfounded and unfair. The palace will not tolerate the skewing of the Princess’ story by any organisation, including that of the media, which has been concocted just for scandalous material. We reject the claims that the execution of the servant girl had no foundation, and the stories circulating are only adding to the traumatic experience that our princess had endured. We request that any such discussion or gossip end and any further queries regarding the story will be ignored.”

A royal whistle-blower (wishing to remain anonymous) contacted the Fairytale Gazette soon after the statement to warn us that in some leaked correspondence they have received, the Gazette is on the list of publications that may be suppressed or have their archives raided by the authorities. 

The statement has concerned and galvanised some of our readership as well as the wider public who have taken to the streets in protest against these new measures—some seen as verging on tyrannical.

Although the authorities has yet acted against the Gazette, smaller publications such as The Transcriptions—who were planning to publish some suppressed court documents regarding the Golden Queen (“R v the Golden Queen”) and facing contempt of court charge—have found themselves gripped by the new restrictions placed by the royals. 

They did however manage to send through the documents before their databases were wiped by the authorities which we will be publishing in their stead.

Such actions have not turned the public to violence as the protests are still peaceful, but we remind our readership that while debate is always encouraged, inciting violence on the streets is not. Therefore, due to popular demand, we are publishing some of the responses we have collected so frustrations are let out on the page rather than the world, which is our stage.

We will not be held accountable for any dragons that are let loose because some people cannot control themselves. The views here do not necessarily reflect the Fairytale Gazette’s. We maintain our journalistic integrity and assure our readership of our objectivity. We also are publishing The Transcription’s documents to show our independence and that we are continuing our inquiries into stories that concern our readership.


Comments for Imposter girl’s goose is cooked

  • The punishment and ultimately the execution that resulted in the death of the impersonating servant girl did not match her crime. It was too harsh and the willingness of the true princess to let this happen speaks more about her malicious character than the official sob story.
  • I disagree with you there—if the maid servant hadn’t been revealed for what she was then the princess would have suffered much greater and for longer. 
  • You privileged and ignorant royalist! The maid servant’s life was hard from the minute she was born. Born into poverty and desperation she was. I don’t blame her for taking the princess’ place. It was a chance for her to escape her fate.
  • Looks like she succumbed to fate anyway if you ask me. Sometimes for a kingdom to have a piece, it requires sacrifice and service to one’s country.
  • No one asked you. Your brain must be in pieces to spell “peace” wrong. Unless of course you advocate for such division in our nation and then I can call you a disruptor.
  • You want a piece of me?!
  • You’d support the false princess?
  • Rather false than a weak queen who cannot stand up for herself any day! Mark my words, the ‘true’ princess will not bring any real change for she is naïve and full of self-pity. 



This is Fairytale’s under oath reporting.

R v The Queen 


Breach of privacy (surreptitious spying)

Breach of confidence/ agreement/ contract

JUSTICE: Please state your name for the record.

R: I refuse. 

JUSTICE: Sir, you’d dare defy the authority of this court?

R: I still refuse. I won’t speak it under the roof of her precious majesty’s court.

JUSTICE: You could be filed for disobeying this court. A charge of contempt you understand.

R: Have you seen any other manikins around here?

JUSTICE: A few. How is this relevant?

R: Then you’d understand how important it is for us to keep our names secret.

JUSTICE: If it should please you, we will impose a pseudonym order so that your name won’t be revealed under the public domain.

THE GOLDEN QUEEN: With all due respect your honour, I’d like to argue that his name is of great public interest to the kingdom

JUSTICE: Explain.

THE GOLDEN QUEEN: Well…Isn’t it vital that we can track who is going around the kingdom, to protect any…vulnerable people? Particularly young people… like, um a baby for example? A name is required to do so, is it not?

JUSTICE: I’m afraid that is an unsatisfactory explanation your majesty.

R: She’s afraid to admit the truth aren’t you your majesty?

THE PUBLIC: Stop goading our queen you little monster!

JUSTICE: Order please. What is this you’re saying about truth?

R: Should I tell them all your majesty, or will you spill your little ‘secret’?

THE GOLDEN QUEEN: I will not stoop to answer that.

R: That’s right. The golden queen, too golden. Were you born or made like that?

JUSTICE: I believe you were in the witness box when I last looked and not the queen. Reserve your questions for later. [to R’s lawyer] Please keep your client under control.


The Queen v R (appeal)

Queen alleges that she can’t reveal her sources (public risk) to kingdom

THE GOLDEN QUEEN: Your honour, that promise was made under complete duress. I had the threat of death hanging over my head.

JUSTICE: Who threatened you?

THE GOLDEN QUEEN [seems to point at the king before setting the finger towards R]: He did!

R: She’s a liar your honour. I didn’t force her to give up her child and I certainly did not lay my hand against her. This court is clearly biased! It’s a scam, just like she is a scam of a queen! Spinning gold, a former peasant girl now the oh so lovely golden girl, oh please—

JUSTICE: Silence in the court! I will not have you make a mockery of this courtroom or these proceedings. 

R: Shall I dance for you, your honour? Shall I set fire to this courtroom and dance in the flames like she made a deal with the devil? What if I managed to rip myself in half and survive? Will you let me off if I completed a miracle like she did?

JUSTICE: Silence I say!

Our analysts have weighed in and it appears that official stories do not match the court records.

Farrago's magazine cover - Edition Four 2022


Saddle up! Farrago’s brand spanking new edition is here! It’s jam-packed with art, photography, news, non-fiction and creative writing; and it calls on you to “be the cowboy.” “But what does that mean?” you ask. Well, let the wise words of Mitski guide you… ”What would a swaggering cowboy riding into town do in this situation?”

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