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Why the Left Sucks: An Inquiry into Campus’s Most Hated Political Group

It is no exaggeration to say that The University of Melbourne is one of the largest breeding grounds for leftist thought in the country. For those of us who have been on campus–walked past the columns

Hey hey hey, it’s time to recap the Kooyong Leaders Debate piece

Poor Selina, she had to watch the whole debate.

The Aesthetics of Poverty – Why students at UniMelb are so keen to appear poor.

The discourse accusing this so-called ‘student aesthetic’ of fetishising poorness has surfaced within the past year on social media (especially TikTok) and in conversations between students on and off

Satire: Farrago Shuts Down; Honi Soit Now Australia's Oldest Student Publication

As of today, Farrago Magazine, Australia’s oldest student publication, will cease operations under the current four editors.

VCA Students Demand UniMelb to Commit to “Zero Tolerance” Policy

Students at the Victorian College of the Arts (VCA) are calling on the University of Melbourne to “commit to stronger policies and actions when it comes to sexual assault”, after the University ignore

 

Article

Local Student Perfects Work-Life Balance

<p>PARKVILLE—Local student and identical twin Simon Whitaker, 21, confirmed on Monday that he has discovered the secret to a perfect work-life balance. “It’s taken a few years of trial and error, but we—pardon me—I have finally struck gold and come across the best way to balance all my competing commitments,” boasted the at-peace Whitaker to [&hellip;]</p>

PARKVILLE—Local student and identical twin Simon Whitaker, 21, confirmed on Monday that he has
discovered the secret to a perfect work-life balance. “It’s taken a few years of trial and error, but
we—pardon me—I have finally struck gold and come across the best way to balance all my competing
commitments,” boasted the at-peace Whitaker to his overwhelmed peer group. “I attend all my lectures
and tutorials; complete all my assignments and pass my exams with flying colours; work twenty-plus
hours a week at my part-time job; apply for relevant internships and graduate programs; spend quality
time with both family and friends; exercise for at least half an hour every day; maintain a well-balanced
diet; keep up with current affairs and popular culture; enjoy time to myself reading or meditating; sleep at
least eight hours every night; and, as a bonus, I can even fit in an episode of a TV series at the end of the
day.” Whitaker says that his new lifestyle has helped to improve his overall satisfaction and wellbeing. “I
used to suffer from crippling stress and anxiety from balancing all my responsibilities; however, with
our—fuck I mean my—new lifestyle, stressful Simon is a thing of the past,” a visibly sweating Whitaker
said. What’s his secret? Whitaker attributes his success to a concept he calls “collaborative time
management”. When asked to elaborate, Whitaker mumbled something about a yoga class before running
away. Simon’s twin brother, Michael, declined to be interviewed, citing the fact that he is a “nocturnal
being”. This story is ongoing.

 
Farrago's magazine cover - Edition Four 2022

EDITION FOUR 2022 AVAILABLE NOW!

Saddle up! Farrago’s brand spanking new edition is here! It’s jam-packed with art, photography, news, non-fiction and creative writing; and it calls on you to “be the cowboy.” “But what does that mean?” you ask. Well, let the wise words of Mitski guide you… ”What would a swaggering cowboy riding into town do in this situation?”

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