The third instalment of the Dyke's Daily column
Design by Ashley Oetomo
“I think that’s my ex’s dog sitter.” Clover looked down the popcorn line at Cinema Nova.
“Those are the kinds of people you’re sure to see here on Mondays.” Alexandra was hanging behind her, just hoping not to have another run in with Trish, whom she had managed to avoid for the past month since the markets. Clover, Alexandra and Sophie checked ahead and made sure that Nova would be screening everyone’s favourite Pride Month movie: Bound. Since the markets Sophie had not stopped thinking about how Clover was secretly in love with her. Sophie was watching Clover’s every move, every glance towards her. She noticed that Clover hugged her particularly strongly today and even had a feeling that she was wearing more perfume than usual. The past month of their friendship had been spent walking on eggshells. Sophie had cancelled on all their plans and ignored Clover’s attempts to hang out, riddled by the worry that Clover would one day admit her love to Sophie.
Downstairs, Dom was waiting for Anita, stuck in the crowd outside Brunetti’s. She was worried Anita wouldn’t spot her and would walk into the cinema thinking that she had been stood up. Or worse, maybe Dom was the one getting stood up. Maybe Anita only asked for her number as a joke. Maybe Dom’s worst nightmare would come true and Anita only wanted to be friends. Only a day after their meeting at the markets, Dom texted Anita asking if she’d want to watch a movie. It took Anita four days after that to finally text Dom that she did, which Dom (not wanting to seem overeager) didn’t reply to for another day. So, when Anita finally agreed to see Bound (two weeks after the original text), Dom jumped at the opportunity.
“There you are!” Anita emerged from the crowd of families with their coffees and cannoli.
“Here I am!” Dom went to kiss Anita on the cheek, while Anita went in to give her a hug. They landed awkwardly between the two.
It’s already a disaster, thinks Dom. The escalator was moving too slowly for Dom to be able to think about anything else. She continued to be stuck in her own head, moving upwards in silence. It’s too sexual and she’s going to think I’m a freak and that all I want to do is sleep with her. Who watches Bound on a first date? Only freaks.
“I still haven’t seen Bound before. Have you?” Anita seemed genuinely excited.
“Uh, yeah, me either.” Dom couldn’t even verbalise her thoughts. What if she hates the movie? What if she hates it so much she walks out? She’s going to think I’ve got bad taste and will never want to see me again. How could you possibly go on a second date with someone with bad taste in movies? Maybe we should have just gotten coffee. Brunetti’s is right there and Readings is across the road. We could even go for Italian after that. Coffee, Readings and Italian in Carlton—how original! I’m sure she hasn’t done that before, I might as well take her op-shopping on Sydney Road at that rate.
Sophie, Alexandra and Clover filed into the theatre as the ads started playing. On the screen was a long-haired, blonde woman riding a horse on the beach.
“Be your best self. Embrace the world,” the woman whispered to the audience as the sound of waves lapping at the shore accompanied her.
“Wait, I should sit next to Sophie,” Clover said as she swapped seats with Alexandra.
“Why do you want to sit with me? Think about poor Alexandra,” Sophie retorted.
Clover gave her a quizzical look and pointed at the popcorn.
“Cause we’re sharing this. Here, I’ll feed you some,” she joked and went to throw a kernel to Sophie.
“Oh my god, Clover, it’s too much. I have to say something.” Sophie finally cracked. She could look past the constant texts asking to hang out and the incessant need to sit next to each other, but throwing popcorn into each other’s mouths was too lesbian for her to bear. Clover was staring back at her as the woman on screen rode the horse into the water, transforming into a mermaid and a seahorse that she rode with a seaweed riding crop.
“I have to just be honest and come out and say it—I don’t feel the same way about you. I’ve known for the past month now that you’re in love with me and I didn’t want to break your heart, but it’s just not happening. You’re lovely, and maybe if we were both drunk one night I’d totally eat you out, but that’s it. And even then I wouldn’t think that’s worth flushing the friendship down the drain for.”
Clover put her head in her hands as she tried to hide her embarrassment at this public display. “Sophie, I don’t have feelings for you. What are you on about?”
A whale swam into frame, attacking the mermaid and seahorse who started fighting back as the mermaid whispered to the camera: “Stand for what you believe in.”
“I saw the way you were looking at me at the markets last week. I know why you didn’t want me around Isla the whole time.”
The fighting continued on shore. As the seahorse swam towards the beach, it transformed into a car.
“Yeah, exactly, it’s about Isla.” Clover couldn’t keep her secret anymore.
“Your Toyota Hilux X50. Your destiny.”
Alexandra, entranced with the car ad this whole time, finally caught on with the girls’ conversation, “What?”
Clover finally took her head out of her hands and leaned in to whisper to Sophie, “It’s not you that I’m into, you narcissist. It’s Isla, okay?”
Sophie couldn’t stand being called a narcissist. “Oh, fuck off, don’t try to deflect by telling me you’re into your roommate.”
“Great, now you don’t even believe me when I’m being vulnerable. I haven’t told a single other person that.”
“Clover, is that you?”
Clover spun round to see Isla sitting directly behind her. Her head was immediately back in her hands as she tried to hide her embarrassment, “I thought you were at work. What are you doing here?”
“Do you guys mind? The movie’s starting,” the man sitting next to Isla leaned in, interrupting. Everyone turned back to the screen. Clover had no idea what to say. She couldn’t concentrate for the entire first act and didn't even know who Corky was. Why was the mafia there? Wasn’t this a movie about lesbian sex? Why was Isla behind her? The entire movie was a blur—all she could think about was what would happen with Isla once the movie ended. Should she run out of the cinema? But they’d be catching the same tram back home. She couldn’t even think about seeing Isla at home, running into her in the kitchen as they both stood around in their underwear, awkwardly.
“What are you doing?” Corky sounded breathless.
“Isn’t it obvious? I’m trying to seduce you.” Violet whispered.
This film was too gay for Clover to watch in front of the roommate that she was secretly in love with.
Five rows behind them, Dom was having similar thoughts. This movie was too horny for her to watch in front of her first date with Anita. The popcorn kernels sat mushy in her mouth as she tried to make as little noise as possible. Her movements were that of a toddler’s — noisy, clumsy and embarrassing. Everything was made even more weighty by Anita’s presence to her right. And her smell. Her lilac overpowered any notes of butter.
“I had this image of you, inside of me, like a part of me.” Violet moved towards Corky.
Before Dom could notice, a hand was resting on her right thigh. As she went to hold Anita’s hand, she tried to subtly brush the butter and salt off her own hand on the side of her jeans. Too much movement. Now her right hand was hovering in between her jeans and Anita. Feeling stuck and salty, she placed her hand down gently on Anita’s.
“I can feel the popcorn from your hands,” Anita whispered after a couple seconds.
“Oh… sorry.” Dom wanted to die.
“No, it’s okay, I don’t mind.” Their hands were glued for the rest of the movie.
As the police showed up and the mafia scrambled to cover up their crime, Clover couldn’t stand the tension anymore.
“I’m going to go,” Clover whispered in Sophie’s ear, “And just to be clear, I’m not in love with you.” She ducked out and ran for the tram, leaving Alexandra, Sophie and Isla behind. Her plan was to lock herself in her room and pretend to be asleep until Isla left for work the next morning. As Violet shot her mafia boyfriend to free herself and Corky, Dom mustered up the courage to do what she had been wanting to for the past 86 minutes, and gently placed her head on Anita’s shoulder.
“Do you know what the difference is between you and me, Violet?”
Corky looked over at Violet from the driver's seat. “No.”
“Me neither.” Corky put her sunglasses on, took Violet’s hand and drove off.