At the University of Melbourne, we’re very proud of our campus culture that allows students to stand up to pressing domestic and international geopolitical issues. The University has a long tradition of student activist movements advocating for human rights, justice, and political freedom for people here in Australia and across the world. The good fight has particularly been fought through the Distribution of Fliers Frontier to discuss political issues on major University path networks.

That being said, sometimes as students we may not want to stand up for big political issues on our way to class or on an impulsive walk around the campus. We’re busy, we’re tired, we’re hungover. Perhaps we just want to get to class, sit down and scroll while the lecturer is talking. It can feel rude to reject your fellow students fighting for positive change by telling them—or showing them with a cold shoulder—that you aren’t interested. This is why Farrago is introducing a new, definitive guide in politely rejecting flyers people hand out around campus! These techniques will ensure that you can bypass being forced into social interaction while making sure your fellow uni students don’t feel bad.

The American Ninja Warrior

Ninjas are famous for being able to move unseen and unnoticed. Combine this with the power of a warrior and the confidence of an American to create a technique to avoid any flier handout that comes your way. Simply navigate between other students with the dexterity of the Quintuple Steps and rush past with the strength required for the Salmon Ladder and you will come out sans-flyers and sans having talked to anybody.

The Invisible Man 

When you were a child, did you believe that people couldn’t see you if you just didn’t look at them?  The Invisible Man technique is perfect for you! By keeping your head down and crawling on the ground like a gecko, you can effectively recreate a reptilian sensibility. If you can’t see the people giving out flyers, how are they supposed to give them to you? Foolproof!

The Businessman

The Businessman is your perfect strategy for the business-savvy and those with little time on their hands. All you need to do is put your phone to your ear and talk about stocks, cryptocurrencies, and how you are investing in rare metals. Those handing out flyers will immediately notice you calling and realise how insufferable you are, diverting the flyers away from you.

The Shrek

I pose the age-old question: what is the best defence? A good offence of course! The Shrek technique flips the elusiveness of the other strategies and instead makes you the threat. All you need is to roll around in a swamp and transform into an ogre. People will choose to avoid you instead.

The John Cena 

You can’t see me! Sometimes the best strategies are the simplest. Simply by waving your hand and chanting the mantra: “You can’t see me”, you can bypass the thin fabric of reality and remove any trace of your existence by calling out to the spirit of the invisible man who reigns in the wrestling ring.

…and that is the list! Pick your favourite and give it a whirl! If you have any suggestions, be sure to send them into the editors.