Ring your grandma.
She sent you a card for your birthday.
Ask how she’s ‘a’ goin’.
Talk to her about rose bushes and sponge cakes.
Tell her you’re doing great at uni,
And you’re getting all ya work done.
That’ll put a smile on her dial.
Put the phone down after an hour or so.
Cry.

Walk ta’ the shops.
Say hey to ol’ Nicky the baker.
He’s always a friendly chap.
Likes to talk at any hour of the day.
Good on ‘im.
Ahh the smell of fresh bread.
You buy some.
Reminds you of a simpler time.
Cry.

Continue to the gift shop. You know, the one near Antony’s Pizza?
Have a chat with the lady behind the counter.
Mrs Lindsay, she’s Stacey’s mum. You know, Stacey from school.
What’s Stacey up to these days?
She’s learnt to code and is now a successful online entrepreneur.
She asks whatcha up to.
You’ve spent the last two hours citing your essay.
You buy a bar of lavender-scented soap.
Cry.

You walk home.
You spy your friendly neighbour Abdul.
How’s Abdul? He’s great.
He asks what you’re doing holding a bar of lavender soap, a loaf of bread,
And a birthday card from your grandmama.
You tell ‘im you’re writing an essay.
He looks at you, standing in the middle of the footpath, obviously NOT writing an essay.
He laughs and quite rightly exclaims “that’s not what it looks like!”.
You cry, but now you smell like lavender.