Article

A Contemporary National Anthem

Australians, all / I do not believe that the colour of one’s skin determines whether you are disadvantaged. / Let us rejoice / It wasn’t a particularly flash day for the people on those vessels, either.

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A photograph of the Australian Parliament House at night

A found poem composed of quotes by the following current or former Australian political figures: Pauline Hanson, Scott Morrison, John Howard, Tony Abbott, Matt Canavan, Barnaby Joyce, Alan Jones, Clive Palmer, Fraser Anning, and Dominic Perrottet.

Content warning: racism, xenophobia, misogyny, homophobia, anti-abortion sentiments, COVID-19, references to genocide and colonisation

 

Australians, all

I do not believe that the colour of one’s skin determines whether you are disadvantaged.

Let us rejoice

It wasn’t a particularly flash day for the people on those vessels, either.

For we are one

I don’t think there is underlying racism in Australia.

And free.

It is effectively infanticide on demand.

We’ve golden soil

This is coal. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be scared.

And wealth for toil

The best form of welfare is a job.

Our home is girt by sea.

Stop the boats.

Our land abounds

They love holidaying in Hawaii and so we’ve had a few nice days here.

In nature’s gifts

The fires have not started due to climate change.

Of beauty

What the housewives of Australia need to understand as they do the ironing…

Rich and rare.

This is a health crisis, not a financial crisis.

In history’s page

I didn’t believe genocide had taken place, and I still don’t.

Let every stage

Such marches, even now, are being met with bullets. But not here in this country.

Advance Australia Fair.

We don’t want to see women rise only on the basis of others doing worse.

In joyful strains

To be quite frank, I couldn’t give a shit about the political ramifications.

Then let us sing

I just wonder whether Scott Morrison is going to be fully briefed to shove a sock down her throat.

Advance Australia Fair.

We are in danger of being swamped by Asians.

 

Beneath our radiant Southern Cross

Muslims… bear a culture and ideology that is incompatible with our own.

We’ll toil with hearts and hands

I can get a group of scientists together… and pay them whatever I want to and come up with any solution.

To make this Commonwealth of ours

Monarchy is the tie that binds us together.

Renowned of all the lands.

We are regarded as a Third World country with First World living conditions.

For those who’ve come across the seas

Muslim fanatics.

We’ve boundless plains to share.

Best way to support people renting a house is to help them buy a house.

With courage

I don’t hold a hose.

Let us all combine

Children should have both a mother and a father.

To Advance Australia Fair.

While late-term abortions may be rare, that doesn’t necessarily make them right.

 

In joyful strains

You have to think about this as a father first.

Then let us sing

Well, gee, I bet it felt good to get that out.

Advance

If you don’t like political correctness, vote no.

Australia

COVID is a new, different world, and we need to get out there and live in it.

Fair.

 

 

Photograph by Aditya Joshi, taken from unsplash.com.

 
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The harpsichords sound like skeletons. The wings of butterflies open and close like lungs. The trees are murdered for pianos. The dust in the abandoned antique store glows gently, as if made from the powdered skulls of fairies and changelings. Welcome to the weird and wonky world of Edition Six, Phantasmagoria. We bid you to tread carefully...

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