i live with soldiers

of no notable rank

no colonel

lieutenant even

when empty streets glimmer

lines of indigo tar 

they rise

uniform on

navy blue

sterile sapphires 

epaulettes replaced by 

white swipe cards, brilliant

i think of her

in that apron she got for Christmas

kitchen smells waft through my bedroom door

– muffins 

i hear the trenches are saving their masks

for the bad ones

sometimes they go without

we wait for the cannons –

i don’t think they were told

that their lives

like their time

blood sweat

trickle of a tear

sleepless nights – pinging pager 

i don’t think they knew they could die

danger danger

i cannot fight if i cannot see

what can i do but

wait

i am no

domestic damsel

but i am a coward

so i do the washing the cookinghangingvacuuming 

i tell them to shower when they get

home (lest they forget)

we do not want the blood on us

the wait is

an ache

sting of a band-aid

dragged off my skin

stones on my chest –

drowning, i cannot sleep 

(don’t worry i don’t have it)

(at least i think i don’t)

i propose –

what matters if other people die?

but i am selfish 

i am no good Samaritan

perhaps it is i who should go

down to hell

the world clings

hanging

still

they wait to be deployed

today i wish my soldiers

would come home