Jasmin, Jasmin. Remember that time I dragged you three hours away to Glasgow to see Audrey Hobert in concert? Any regrets…? 

I know you hate buses, let alone being on one for three hours, and you had to sacrifice your other St Paddy's Day plans, and you were stressed about an exam that week, and you’d just recovered from a sickness I passed onto you two weeks before (you’re welcome). I have to believe you knew something I did too: seeing a star being born was so much more important than any other human concern.  

When, out of the fog, Audrey Hobert emerged in a trench coat and glasses and a fake moustache, it all made sense. Drenched in the spotlight, she opened with “I like to touch people”, a jarring start, and it seemed strange to join like 2000 other people screaming those lyrics, but really, it was just funny. Hobert once said, “I just wanna amuse people”, and amuse she did. When she got on a trampoline during “Thirst Trap”? Unreal. When she started fighting on stage with her stage manager? Equally unreal. It was just moment after moment of what the hell is going on. If Hobert’s goal was to amuse, she kinda crushed it. 

Performing every song off her debut (and “Sue Me” twice, once as a no-phones-in-the-crowd encore), the show lasted only 50 minutes, a fleeting moment of true joy and so much dancing. Seriously, to quote a lyric from “Silver Jubilee”, “blink and you could miss it, it’s over”. There was not a moment to sit down. The whole crowd was ridiculously ecstatic. The set moved quickly, one song to the next, but it took two to three minutes to set up for each song, to the detriment of the concert’s flow. Those few minutes of setup time allowed for moments of contemplation which ultimately took us out of the music. Smoother transitions, or even using mashups maybe, would allow for the joyful flow of the concert to be executed more precisely. 

That said, I reckon a lot of the transitional clumsiness was forgotten by the time Hobert was singing again. I remember we talked about it for thirty minutes afterwards: Hobert has a killer voice and it carried effortlessly across the whole concert venue. It was beyond impressive, watching her soar over high notes with ease and then come crashing back into choruses, all while jumping around and dancing like no one was watching. I loved that part of the show: how she crafted intimacy by just being unapologetically weird on stage. It was a super vulnerable thing to do, now that I think about it, but she captures her selfhood so well that you almost miss the vulnerability. 

“Silver Jubilee” was a real highlight for me. The live music arrangement really made the pop-rock sound so much fuller and heightened the fun promised in the studio version. I mentioned this after the concert and it’s worth reiterating: I really hope she delves further into the wilderness of this sound. It really suits her. 

And a moment for “Sue Me”, your favourite, and everyone’s favourite, apparently. The way the crowd ERUPTED, when she sang it the first time, I didn’t think it could get better. Then she told us to put our phones down and sang it again for the encore. The entire place shook. The electric feel of the song live put the studio version to shame, and that song really will never be the same for me. I will forever think of the dancing lights and the stomping feet during an undeniably fun night in Glasgow. “Sue me I wanna be” in Glasgow at the Audrey Hobert concert again.

Anyway, thanks for helping me tick off the “Silver Jubilee” checklist: 

• I told you “all my secrets” 

• I “live[d] it up” 

• I “ripped [two baby Guiness] shots”

• I “danced to the music” and 

• I “live[d] it up, like my life starts now”!!!!! 

And I couldn’t have asked for a better gal to do it with. Something tells me that this will not be our final Audrey Hobert concert, and something tells me that it will be a smaller venue we will see her in. She’s a star. Hobert’s a “normal girl” who has practically “made it” and is worth travelling the six hours total for. Thanks for not letting me “blink and[…] miss it”.