Featured in Farrago Magazine Edition Three 2026 as part of the One Man in a (Sinking) Boat column

Design by Sophie Igbinovia

My Daily Journal: Thursday 23/04/26

Reflections

Dear Diary,

It’s been a while. I haven’t been able to write in over a month because my last diary went missing. I’m not sure what happened, but I have a theory. I went to Billboards a couple of weeks ago, and I recall sitting down in a bathroom stall, scribbling away. I remember my friends coming in to ask me if I was poo…dropping the kids off at the pool. Which, by the way, was rather rude. Even if I was (I might have been), it’s disrespectful to announce it to the entire men’s room.

Anyway, that's the last time I saw it. It's a guess, but I think that when I left the stall to prove I wasn’t doing anything, I dropped my diary in a puddle. It's been making me anxious. I keep envisioning some bouncer finding and reading it to those beautiful women who stamp your wrists at the entrance. I’ve told my friends we’re not going back to Billboards for the rest of the year.

I wanted to get back to journalling irregardless, so I got a new “focus” journal today. Now that I'm on the verge of getting into the talking stage with someone, I want to become my best self. And yes!! @kat.astrophe requested me back on IG. I know I sound nonchalant, but I've just had time to get used to it. I’ve been liking ALL her stories for the past two weeks, so she knows I’m serious about her.

I finally worked up the courage to reply to her story with a fire emoji. It was a picture of a book called the Critique of Pure Reason. She asked if I also enjoy Kant. I wanted to sound clever, so I said “I Kant” hahaha. She thankfully hasn’t responded yet. I’ve downloaded a PDF of the book but, despite the name, it feels a bit unreasonable to read 800 pages, so I’m using Chat to get through it. I know it uses like 10,000 litres of water and I shouldn’t, but my reasons (love) are pure…

@kat.astrophe’s only posted one picture of herself so far. It’s always just sunsets and Yo-Chi, and once she was holding a friend’s hand. It’s cool. Not needing external validation is a characteristic I really respect in a person and hope others see in me.

I’ve been trying to teach myself Spanish through immersion by properly listening to the new Bad Bunny album, which is good because all this time I’ve been referring to “Dtmf” as “DTF”. My tutor said nobody’s failed Spanish before, though, so I’m not worried.

I haven’t been letting myself study till I’m in the zone, but it’s tough to focus at home (my parents are renovating the tennis court AND the pool). I’m doing everything in my power to not produce sloppy work. Trying so hard has got me into hot water with my Crim groupmates. They called me out at our Monday meeting for not uploading my slides. I thought it was unfair because I normally just do them in an hour and chuck it on there. Only Adam stood up for me. He told everyone to stop picking on me because we had until Friday. He’s chill. We were going to get drinks at PA’s after, but his girlfriend called so he had to leave.

In other news, my Myki situation has snowballed out of control. I knew I was going to be fined, so I've been setting aside 75 dollars of my allowance each week. I was on track until Jakey suggested using Afterpay when I ran a bit short one night. Before I know it, I'm using it every time I get smashed. Normally, my night ends when my card declines, but the last time I used it, I blew 400 dollars in a single night. Now I’m in even more debt than before.

Mum and Dad have refused to help me pay it off. I had to use up all my Macca’s points just to get a hash brown today. I’m having nightmares of defaulting, and it doesn’t help that my Crim class is so focused on crime. I’ve been asking everyone about job openings. Adam said that the Woolies he works at might be hiring, so I’m praying that goes somewhere.

This has worked me up all over again!!! I wanted to write so I’d feel calm enough to lock in for the group assignment, but I’m feeling so fucked now. I only have tonight to do my slides, but I think I might have to meditate first. There’s a 30-minute yogic breathing video I'm really into…