The Grub

University Square Possums Unionise After Council Threatens To Destroy Their Trees

4 February 2018

In a display of solidarity not seen since the 1856 workers strike at the University of Melbourne, a group of brushtail possums have unionised after plans emerged for council to destroy trees they have inhabited for generations.

The City of Melbourne plans, announced in August, will ensure the destruction of numerous iconic trees in University Square, outside the Melbourne Law School. The trees are to be replaced by a 5000-seat Quidditch stadium, in anticipation for the 2020 world cup.

In response, concerned possums have formed the Possums Against Forced Acquisition (PAFA) coalition.

When reached for comment by Farrago, a representative of the Australian Workers Union expressed her support for PAFA.

“This decision is unfortunately yet another glaring example of this government putting profit before possums.”

Speaking in Canberra on Sunday, Prime Minster Malcolm Turnbull suggested that voters may head to the polls for yet another plebiscite if the issue went unresolved.

“A public vote on this issue will give the local government a clear mandate, and I trust that all Australians will campaign in good spirit and faith.”

The PM’s words come in spite of rumors that the Pigeons in Parliament lobbying group has began disseminating anti-marsupial campaign materials across the CBD.

The City of Melbourne did not return requests for comment.

For those wanting to show support for the possums, the Socialist Alternative have organised a snap rally at the State Library of Victoria this Friday at 12pm. Victoria Police expect crowd numbers to reach the 10s, and have warned that trams may be affected.

Headline and article by Darcy French.
Graphics by Cathy Chen.

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