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Student Alcoholism Exposed

<p>Me want beer now.</p>

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What the hell has happened to university life!? How fuckin lame was O-Week? HELLA-LAME! I was so looking forward to returning to tertiary study, mostly because of all the free shit you get. Especially in O-Week. Back in the not too distant past, I did a BA at RMIT’s Coburg campus where it was a struggle to leave campus without being drunk. Of course I had no money to buy beer, but the student union was always putting on lunchtime beer and barbeques. And O-week was a right-off. Just the way it should be.

So, here I was thinking, “the Melbourne Student Union is loaded right? Time to reap the rewards of paying my student fees. Time to get waster!” But no, not a sausage. Well maybe one sausage after queuing up for 2 hours on the Tuesday. Jibbed or what?! During O-week there were all these business and shit promoting themselves, but only had crappy showbags of junk mail to give away.

What’s going on here?!

Me want beer now.

Yours truly,
Deprived Dave

 
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