Counsel In Couplets4 October 2016
From: H Granger
I’m leaving my boyfriend to go on exchange. We’ve been dating for three months but really like each other. What the hell do I do?
So the other day I was reminiscing about all things romo,
Which called to mind the lyrics of Nelly Furtado.
“Flames to dust, lovers to friends.
Why do all good things come to an end?”
It sounds like you’re having your Furtado moment,
It’s a common problem, a wary lament.
In my eyes you have three options and the third is the best,
But for argument’s sake, I’ll outline the rest.
First: stay together. Long-distance can work,
Though the miles between may make you a jerk.
Will you be happy with him back home?
Can Skype maintain the feelings you’ve grown?
Is Facebook chat enough to compensate for physicality?
I can’t imagine so: that’s the harsh reality.
You don’t want to be travelling with guilty chains,
Testing the boundaries as your relationship strains.
Which brings me to your second choice,
One I doubt will give cause for rejoice.
You could keep it casual while you’re away.
Uncommitted and free: come what may.
Dalliance with others, enjoy your time liberally –
If you can swallow the guilt that bubbles up viciously.
After all, it’s unfair on him: he’s at home bored,
While you’re making friends and memories abroad.
Jealousy means open relationships rarely thrive,
Do you have the trust required for your love to survive?
So, sadly, we arrive at option three:
I wish there were another way it could be.
You’ll have to break-up; it’s the smart thing to do.
Unless you see a future with options one or two.
Remember, you can always get back together.
Be like JB: “Never Say Never”.
If it’s meant to be, it’s meant to be.
And if things don’t rekindle, it’s cause you’re happy.
If he’s moved on, it means he likes them more,
Which is important to know: you’re not what he’s looking for.
If things are the same, then good, start anew,
Knowing you’ve enjoyed your exchange and fulfilled a dream too!
So maybe I’ve been too harsh in the way I’ve put things,
And maybe this bluntness bites with bitter stings.
But I think you need this realness to enjoy your remaining time,
And look forward to your trip with a plan-of-action in mind.
Exchange will be amazing: you’re gonna love it a lot,
But such experiences mean you must leave what you’ve got.
It’s when we step out of our comfort zones that we discover what’s essential.
For you, this means knowing if they have long-term potential.
So embrace the trip to come,
Do what needs to be done.
Assess your choices (I would take the third),
Communicate: say what needs to be heard.
And, once you’ve cleared things up with the beau,
You can shelve that CD by Nelly Furtado.