satire

Local Man Aghast After Discovering How Much Work His Wife Does Around the House

2 November 2020

After transitioning to remote work during COVID-19 restrictions, HR manager Richie Monaco (39) was stunned to discover how much domestic labour his wife quietly performs every day.

“Honestly, mate, I thought there wasn’t much for her to do,” confessed an exhausted Monaco during a Zoom interview with Farrago, rocking a newborn with his left hand while force-feeding a toddler puréed squash with his right. “Stir a pot, sweep the floor—how hard could it be?”

But firsthand experience has forced Monaco to re-evaluate his beliefs. “The dust, mate,” he said, shaking his head. “I clean for hours, but it keeps coming back. It’s madness.”

Emergency services visited Monaco’s house yesterday after he injured himself attempting to attend a Zoom meeting while cooking dinner. “I’ve asked the boss about taking on fewer projects,” said Monaco. “But he says housework isn’t ‘real’ work.”

Monaco’s wife, Dr. Sherry Lin, PhD (35), works part-time from home and is the primary caregiver for their three daughters. Monaco confessed that he had often dismissed Dr Lin when she asked for help with housework.

“I’d tell Sherry I was working late and go to the pub instead,” he admitted sheepishly.
“I reckoned I was doing my part—MARIANNE PUT THAT KNIFE DOWN (sic)—bringing home the bacon and all that.” (Farrago has since ascertained that Monaco’s salary is significantly lower than Dr Lin’s, and that he spent most of his time at the office bullying unpaid interns or playing Tetris.)

Monaco and other local fathers have formed a Facebook support group. “There are so many guys going through the same thing. We want to be there for each other,” he said. Monaco has also created a petition demanding men receive compensation for the additional labour they performed during the pandemic. “It’s exploitation, pure and simple,” he declared.

Dr Lin responded to Farrago’s request for comment with an exasperated email.

‘‘I still do almost all the housework,” she said. “Richie sweeps one floor, collapses onto the sofa, and messages that support group of his.”


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