Why the Left Sucks: An Inquiry into Campus’s Most Hated Political Group

It is no exaggeration to say that The University of Melbourne is one of the largest breeding grounds for leftist thought in the country. For those of us who have been on campus–walked past the columns

Hey hey hey, it’s time to recap the Kooyong Leaders Debate piece

Poor Selina, she had to watch the whole debate.

The Aesthetics of Poverty – Why students at UniMelb are so keen to appear poor.

The discourse accusing this so-called ‘student aesthetic’ of fetishising poorness has surfaced within the past year on social media (especially TikTok) and in conversations between students on and off

Satire: Farrago Shuts Down; Honi Soit Now Australia's Oldest Student Publication

As of today, Farrago Magazine, Australia’s oldest student publication, will cease operations under the current four editors.

VCA Students Demand UniMelb to Commit to “Zero Tolerance” Policy

Students at the Victorian College of the Arts (VCA) are calling on the University of Melbourne to “commit to stronger policies and actions when it comes to sexual assault”, after the University ignore



Counsel In Couplets: Too Many Boosts

<p>Developed a woe you can&#8217;t let go? Have it answered in the best way: in couplets.</p>

FROM: Mary F, Melbourne East

“Hi Nick, it’s only Thursday and I’ve already bought nine Boosts this week. Help!”


It all starts with that one inevitable drink:

“Why not get a Passion Mango smoothie?” you think.

After two hours of French and then chemistry,

Your body is screaming out, “Get Boost, I’m thirsty!”

You intend to save some money and get a small

But you end up with a large, ‘cause you want it all.

Six dollars ninety: a small fortune for crushed fruit

But it’s all that will get you through your next tute.

More than your bank statement,

you’re selling your soul –

A deadly addiction leaving you on the dole.

Enticed by the attractive teens in visor caps,

You’ve fallen into another corporate trap.

This destructive cycle: it has gone on for weeks

And without that vivid lime logo, each day is bleak.

The only way out lies in finding cheaper bevs –

Warm chai from the Food Co­op

or coffee from Lot Sevs.

Pretend you belong to the Eng Society,

Free cider from Christian Club for feigned piety.

Drink from the sprinklers

that fill the Systems Garden

Steal distilled water, sneak it past the lab warden.

Stinge money off friends

and have them buy you a drink,

Or, quite simply, fill your bottle up at a sink.

After all, water is always a fine option,

Although lacking the flavour

of Boost’s concoctions.

Look to your friends:

they’ll get you through these hard times

After all, a love for Boost beats snorting crack lines.

Every week attend Boost Addicts Anonymous,

Rally against this company nefarious.

And soon you’ll celebrate a month sans Kiwi Crush

Slowly purging yourself of that sugary mush.

So, dearest Mary, I have faith in your resolve

Yes, Boost is evil, but this problem you can solve.



Have a woe you can’t let go?


Farrago's magazine cover - Edition Five 2022


Edition 5 is all dolled up, adorned with student art, pretty words and scandelous hot-takes. Read it now!

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