State Electorate Profile: Brunswick

Abbey Saxon gives you the political rundown on Melbourne's most (in)famous inner-northern suburb.

Why the Left Sucks: An Inquiry into Campus’s Most Hated Political Group

It is no exaggeration to say that The University of Melbourne is one of the largest breeding grounds for leftist thought in the country. For those of us who have been on campus–walked past the columns

The Aesthetics of Poverty – Why students at UniMelb are so keen to appear poor.

The discourse accusing this so-called ‘student aesthetic’ of fetishising poorness has surfaced within the past year on social media (especially TikTok) and in conversations between students on and off

Satire: Farrago Shuts Down; Honi Soit Now Australia's Oldest Student Publication

As of today, Farrago Magazine, Australia’s oldest student publication, will cease operations under the current four editors.

VCA Students Demand UniMelb to Commit to “Zero Tolerance” Policy

Students at the Victorian College of the Arts (VCA) are calling on the University of Melbourne to “commit to stronger policies and actions when it comes to sexual assault”, after the University ignore



“Recontexualise”, said a hot-shot student


“Recontexualise”, said a hot-shot student, whilst all were forced to endure their never-ending monologue about T.S. Eliot

A University of Melbourne arts student has mastered using as many extravagant words possible in a sentence, until they re-evaluate the profound and demanding effect of the word ‘vamoose’. The speech, a meandering mish-mash through the works of T. S. Eliot, included words that would grant you instantaneous victory in any game of Scrabble, all pronounced as if they had never been spoken aloud before.

As each sentence grows and expands to bulbous proportions, so does the student’s head. It bloats much like Aunt Marge in Harry Potter, but the student doesn’t float away and allow the class a moment of peace. It is as if they are chained down, forced to listen to a James Joyce-esque littering of commas and thoughts. It becomes apparent that the meaning of all words in the English language are now superfluous, and as the sentences slowly slip away, their argument becomes redundant. Indeed, any politician would be proud to receive this type of doublespeak from their speechwriter, but it has no place in a 9am tute. The student’s thoughts trail on as if they’ve found themselves lost in a Virginia Woolf stream of consciousness which makes your head spin and spin. Their unspeakably long sentences are littered with Shakespearean language, and are structured and sequestered by semicolon after semicolon—the punctuation of choice for pretending to have any semblance of what they’re saying.

Now, were this all uttered in the name of learning and growth, it could almost be forgiven—after all, literature is filled with discussions of how all interpretations are valid. Yet, this overzealous, thesaurus-swallowing creature is reminiscent of the worst theoretical subject readings; when your highlighter hovers over the page unsure of what even begins to constitute importance. When you can’t comprehend where one sentence ends and the next begins; the type where you must control your fingers, preventing them from approaching the roots of your hair and pulling until there’s nothing left. But of course, it’s all in the name of academia. Endless yawns from the class do not deter the student from continuing for a further five minutes, because, as I said... it’s all in the name of academia.

Perhaps if we all include the word ‘recontextualise’ in our vocabularies (and slip it into any sentence possible), we too can find our IQs rising—just like this humble and grounded student.

Yet, the student smiles gleefully at their contribution in class. They’re either blissfully ignorant about halting the lesson for their spontaneous 20 minute monologue, or their verbal jargon is simply covering the fact that they know absolutely nothing about the topic. Of course, any student who managed to stay awake glares with hatred and shock at this self-proclaimed Aristotle. This waste-of-breath could just as easily be summed up in a single word.


Farrago's magazine cover - Edition Five 2022


Our last print edition of 2022 is here! This wild, visionary edition is filled with burning nostalgia, glittering hope, and tantalising visions of the future, past, and present.

Read online