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Even in Shopping Aisles — Even Then

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In another life              I am certain     I ran after you             stumbling on hems of my skirts

           Feet bruised    and blistered              back in that time          I would have 

Forgiven you    two     three    hundred         times                just as my mother did

             And my grandmother             I would have cut my chest  open        and handed my

heart                                         over              arteries intact                blood still warm     

            I would not have cared           about voices in my head           I would not have cared

About opinions of my friends   or those menacing looks from my sister

            In some other time,      I would have been content      to let    you do anything 

Just so I could            wait       in a supermarket line   with YOU         or watch clothes dry

             Or       look for mundane miscellaneous objects        like mugs and mattresses  

I would have found it  more romantic than any           of those dinner dates

             Truth be told              I would have wanted nothing more out of this life

Than to walk beside you        and look for bloody vacuum cleaners  in Bunnings aisles

             Still,                  I wonder         what good can come from it?   What good is love, when

you have to die for it                 I have seen it in eyes of too many women       and shoulders of

men    wearied by love             they could not hold       they could not  carry        

I suppose        in this life          at least             I should learn   to lug around   this heart          of

mine    for a change                 so here it is      my letter of resignation            I am giving you up     

             like whiskey and          wine                 I am learning to 

             walk                 and not search for your face in every library window   in every     

corner shop     in every lucid dream in every song and lyric         I hope that in this life     at

least     I can do something different     swim in more rivers    and learn how to cook good pasta     

            climb more mountains and pick up more rubbish        save more ducks and plant more

trees     anything      other than                       run after you      in supermarket aisles Because

surely, love exists     in other places too ––  maybe even here, on this page, today 

 
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