A richer student experience, but for who? The discriminatory effects of abandoning dual delivery.

With the days of strict lockdowns and cautious safety measures seemingly behind us, the University of Melbourne has implemented a return to full on-campus learning for all undergraduate and most postg

The American private equity giant buying up our local pubs

Have you noticed that something hasn’t quite been the same about your favourite pubs since the pandemic? Perhaps the pints are costlier, the menu has changed, the staff’s smiles appear forced and ther

Normalisation of Unpaid Trials: How Melbourne’s Casual Job Market Exploits International Students

Shivani, 21, moved from India six months ago. In April, she was called in for her first casual job at a kebab joint on Flinders Street. The marketing graduate was asked by the owner to do 12 hours

On Dreading Netflix's Upcoming Depp v. Heard Documentary

A few weeks ago, Netflix announced its new documentary, Depp vs. Heard, set to premiere later this month. The promises made were lofty: to re-examine the trial, to analyze the mass hysteria it provoke

Equitable Contraceptive Responsibility: Pioneering Gender-Neutral Contraceptive Solutions

If it takes two to tango, why does only one have to suffer? There should be more safe and effective methods available for men so that we can all equitably share the contraceptive responsibility.



Satire-in-Brief: Edition Six 2022

Progressive Arts Student Suddenly a Devout Monarchist Right Before Their Assessment Due Date

Abstract blue-and-black lines and shapes surround the playful bubble text 'satire in brief'.

Mullet Ban in North Korea Might Just Pull the Trigger for the First War Australia Ever Initiated in History

Political experts have suggested that the war the world is dreading might not break out in Taiwan or China, nor continue in Ukraine, but rather, erupt between Australia and North Korea.

Australia was never known for its belligerence. However, the recent ban of mullets in North Korea deeply enraged an alarming number of proud mullet enthusiasts from across the ocean.

Let’s hear from one of them.

“Yeah, mate. This mullet here, is where the Australian essence lies, mate. I don’t care what that dictator in North Korea says. This is our NATIONAL TREASURE. You can take away me car, you can take away me house, but you ain’t gonna take away this hair! What you do, Kimmie boy, is an ungrace to me and my mates…”

“I think you mean ‘disgrace’?”

“Yeah, yeah. Whatever floats your boat, mate.”

—Danqing Zhu


Local Woman Breaks Down Crying After Receiving a BeReal Notification the Second
She Arrives Home

“I did so many interesting things today!” she sobs.
“I went out for brunch, I saw a cat, I helped deliver a baby on the street, and I took a blood oath with the antichrist. But of course it has to go off when I’m at home for the FIFTH DAY IN A ROW!”

BeReal has declined to comment.

—Madison Barr


Anti-Lockdown Protesters Gather Outside Channel 10 Over the Masked Singer Propaganda

“First we have to wear masks on PTV, now we have to wear them on stage too??” said protester Keith Drudge, who neither sings nor owns a myki. “This show is unwatchable Andrews government propaganda. I just hope Popcorn and Mirrorball can stay strong. Also Zombie is definitely Heidi Klum.”

—Alexia Shaw


UniMelb Open Day Allegedly So Shit Not Even Our Reporters Attended

The goon-soaked days of dancing to Lime Cordiale on South Lawn are no more, as open days have become a home for infinite brochures and a free pen or two. “The highlight for me was getting a voucher for 10% off Schnitz, but I had to elbow my way through about 50 other scummers to get one,” a disappointed student said.

—Madison Barr


Girl Sets Sights on Andrew Tate as Her Biggest “I Can Fix Him” Project Yet

Katarina Martinez, whose last four boyfriends were all emotionally unavailable skater boys, stumbled upon one of Tate’s many misogynistic TikToks on Tuesday evening and has not shut up about him since. “You guys he’s misunderstood,” Martinez said to her friends over brunch. “He just needs the right woman to change his perspective, there’s a heart of gold in there I swear.”  When Martinez went to the bathroom, her friends gave a collective groan. “Well, at least this one’s got a car,” said one friend with a sigh.

—Alexia Shaw


Progressive Arts Student Suddenly a Devout Monarchist Right Before Their Assessment Due Date

Despite writing numerous essays about coloniser violence, Matthew now claims his mourning of the Queen has prevented him from completing his assignments on time. “While the public holiday has helped a little, I think I need another five business days to really process this loss,” his email to a tutor read. According to an inside source, Matthew has fully committed to the bit by joining the student Monarchist Society.

—Madison Barr


Housemate Who Hasn’t Done the Dishes in Five Weeks Sneers at Half-Empty Glass of Water

The group chat has been spicier than ever after share house resident decides the others aren’t pulling their weight. “I just think it’s super disrespectful to leave a glass on the bench,” they wrote in the chat. “I left my dishes unwashed because I had an assignment last week and my cat died two years ago, but when you guys leave things out it’s just plain rude.”

Their housemates have reportedly been active on Fairy Floss since the exchange occurred.

—Madison Barr


Local Man Confused by Roe v. Wade, Thinks It’s a WWE Fight

On Saturday night Bruce Fieldings attempted to comfort his distraught daughter, who could only get out the phrases “Roe v. Wade” and “we lost” between her sobs. “There there,” said Fieldings, who has not read the news since 1983. “I’m sure with a bit of extra training, Wade will come back stronger than ever in the next fight.” He then entered his kitchen to discover his wife crying over the same match. Fieldings was surprised. He didn’t realise his family were such big wrestling fans.

—Alexia Shaw

Farrago's magazine cover - Edition Two 2023


What would you find if you walked through the looking glass into another time? Why are all the plastic googly eyes you spilt over your bedroom floor following your every move? The entire universe and beyond is your disco ball of scintillating possibility.

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