Hannah Ferguson’s Taboo arrived at the perfect time. The book explores a series of taboos around the body, sex, relationships and work. It landed in my hands a couple of months before I was set to graduate and enter the real world outside of my lovely little university bubble. Taboo made me feel seen, as a feminist in her early 20s who doesn’t like being told she has to have all the answers to be “right”.

“I guess the book is looking at the experience of young women in today's society and saying, ‘How can we challenge the narratives around things like marriage, the choice to become a parent, all of these structures and expectations and milestones that I don't really think serve us anymore?’ I'm not shaming anyone for their individual choice. I'm just asking questions in this book about how we have these conversations to dismantle the expectations that constrict us,” she told me.

As a long-time listener of Big Small Talk, the podcast Hannah co-hosts, I was used to hearing her thoughtful and impactful responses to events happening across the world. It was another level of inspiring to hear her talk at length and off the cuff about questions I was asking her. Throughout Taboo and my interview with Hannah, I was constantly impressed by the balance she finds in talking about serious and frankly frustrating topics, managing to express her opinions with assurance and the right level of emotion. This book feels like a hug from an understanding, similarly frustrated friend, who has found the best way to handle conservative relatives in awkward family catch-ups. So much of the connection I built with the book came from Hannah’s ability to put so much of herself in the story.

“What I find over and over again when I hear reviews of Bite Back or any piece of work that I've written, is the ones that always get the most engagement, reach the most people, have the most impact are stories that have me in it, because people want to resonate, not just with why I have a political view, but what has led me to that viewpoint through experience and through context,” she told me.

“The point of Taboo is that I still feel it. I just understand and recognize that something is more important than shame, that my discomfort must be tolerated. In order to work through those thoughts, you have to have tough conversations with yourself. If I never talked about having painful sex and what to do about it, I never would have seen a doctor. I was so ashamed, that I didn't seek out healthcare. Now, yeah, there's still shame that I'm telling people I've had problems with having sex, having partnered sex, but the level to which that affects me now is entirely different because I've sought out healthcare. I've shared it with my friends and family and partner. I understand now that it's something a lot of people experience, but don't know how to approach. It’s about being honest and saying ‘Oh my god, we're all having the same thoughts, but if we had them together, it would make them easier.’”

A powerful part of Hannah’s writing is her refusal to claim she has all the answers. Too often, I’ve felt defeated in arguments because I haven’t been able to list off endless statistics. Whilst Taboo is incredibly informative in the data and studies it includes, I was equally moved by Hannah’s own experiences and opinions. I found myself nodding my head a lot while reading the book, as Hannah continuously managed to put my jumbled feelings into convincing, articulate words. This is clearly not just something Hannah excels in when putting it in writing- when I spoke to her in October I was in awe. I think many young people will be able to connect with Taboo because of Hannah isn’t a great deal older than many of us in university_—her work feels like something written by your smart friend. She puts forward her stories and opinions as a launching pad for further discussions, willing to learn and grow together. I felt valued as a reader, for my input into the ongoing dialogues Taboo presents, unlike some books which sometimes seem to declare a ‘correct’ perspective and don’t leave much room to disagree.

“I'm not claiming to have the answers. I know that for a lot of older Cheek followers - because there are the majority are older than me - there might be a lot of like, ‘This is a young person talking about the experience of 20s during that moment’ and I hope in a few years, it feels immature or wrong to me, because I think that's the point. Every single second, we're developing new thoughts, new neural pathways, new approaches to experiences, right? So, I hope this is irrelevant. I always talk about this. I hope my job is eventually eliminated, and that we reach gender equality and don't have to do this, this conversation style anymore. But for now, it's important, and that's why I've done it at this point.”