LATEST NEWS:

Why the Left Sucks: An Inquiry into Campus’s Most Hated Political Group

It is no exaggeration to say that The University of Melbourne is one of the largest breeding grounds for leftist thought in the country. For those of us who have been on campus–walked past the columns

Hey hey hey, it’s time to recap the Kooyong Leaders Debate piece

Poor Selina, she had to watch the whole debate.

The Aesthetics of Poverty – Why students at UniMelb are so keen to appear poor.

The discourse accusing this so-called ‘student aesthetic’ of fetishising poorness has surfaced within the past year on social media (especially TikTok) and in conversations between students on and off

Satire: Farrago Shuts Down; Honi Soit Now Australia's Oldest Student Publication

As of today, Farrago Magazine, Australia’s oldest student publication, will cease operations under the current four editors.

VCA Students Demand UniMelb to Commit to “Zero Tolerance” Policy

Students at the Victorian College of the Arts (VCA) are calling on the University of Melbourne to “commit to stronger policies and actions when it comes to sexual assault”, after the University ignore

 

News

Jan 27 (Hardly Working)
An ink drawing: a mass of small, leaf-like shapes crossed with grey and green root-like lines.

Mud-caked and defeated / we rove over a country choked / into submission.

 
Why the Left Sucks: An Inquiry into Campus’s Most Hated Political Group

It is no exaggeration to say that The University of Melbourne is one of the largest breeding grounds for leftist thought in the country. For those of us who have been on campus–walked past the columns plastered with protest posters, been a part of tutorial discussions (particularly within the Arts faculty), socialised with fellow students–this statement needs even less justification. Yet, UniMelb’s most far-left political group, Socialist Alternative (SocAlt), seems to be its most hated.

 
Material Girls—a source of liberation or an excuse for overconsumption?

The so-called “Material Girl” lifestyle is a phenomenon that has circled TikTok ForYou pages since November 2021. The hallmarks of this trend—be it a brightly coloured Telfar bag, a pair of $900.00 Airpods Max or a head-to-toe Lululemon ensemble—assure us that ultimately, shopping can be empowering and wealth is equal to success. However, with the rising criticism of overconsumption, we are left with the question: does an ethical version of a “Material Girl” exist?

 
No, You’re Not in Your Fleabag Era

In a world overwhelmed by praise and adoration for characters such as Phoebe Waller Bridge’s Fleabag and those in the Sally Rooney literary universe, it can be difficult to distinguish redeemable, commendable behaviour from the not-so. Written so eloquently and with such realistic qualities, myself and others, particularly female, audiences and readers have found it refreshing to gravitate towards such characters, identifying with their flaws and feeling the weight slowly slip off our shoulders.

 
Rating the Past: How Classification Shaped Us All

As a generation of media consumers, we have, in one way or another, encountered the Australian Classification and Ratings System. You know, that little prohibitive green/yellow/blue/red/black box in the corner of the DVD or video game case you had growing up? Chances are that since you turned 18, you haven't given those ratings much thought. After all, they hardly apply to you anymore, or maybe they never did (especially for the more rebellious readers).

 
In Defence of Science Fiction

When you think of science fiction, what comes to mind? Aliens? Sheldon Cooper? That trope where a condescending male character spews scientific jargon, only to be asked to repeat themselves “in English, please”? Space as “the final frontier”?

 
Why the Face? The Role of the Face Cam in Constructing Parasocial Relationships.

We operate in a time where attention is a commodity, dispensed by live streamers and ravenously sought after by audiences. Livestreaming culture has been struggling with obsessive audiences for years now –  this video from 2020 is an excellent description of how these cultures came into being. While there has been extensive writing on parasociality from podcasting and live streaming before, few discuss how these bonds are constructed.

 
Lines in the Sand: The Pride and Rivalry of Australian States

Upon learning of my Southern derivation, the inevitable question would follow: “What’s there to do in Adelaide?”  One way or another, every Australian capital city has come to embody an archetype. If Australia were a John Hughes film, casting each capital city would be easy.  Somehow, Adelaide has a reputation for being a hopelessly provincial pseudo-city trapped at the arse-end of Australia.

 
New Year
An illustrated pattern of red and pink flowers mimicking an embroidered style.

January air is amniotic. / February will come like a birth or excision.

 
Students' Council Round Up: 10(22) + 11(22)

While everyone was in Europe, I was in council.

 
to: life.
A white sketched outline of a femme-presenting person lying asleep on their back, overlaid on an ima

to wring a dry cloth / on cracked soil / under the ablaze sun.

 
Virgil's Eclogue I
An illustration of sheep in a green pasture. In the background are hills, between which an orange su

Tityrus, you recline beneath a screen / of spreading beech and dwell upon the woodland / muse with slender reed

 
Busting
A digital illustration of fragments of a watermelon bursting out from an orange, galaxy-like spiral

The watermelon dwarfs the little fridge it’s displayed on, green rind overtaking white plastic.

 
Satire-in-Brief: Edition One 2022
A grey-blue banner littered with floating, disembodied human faces wearing a variety of fun and stra

Student who submitted timetable preferences during their “new year, new me” phase now holding back tears in 8am tute.

 
Labor’s latest climate bomb shows we need to fight for climate justice

The media have adopted a wait-and-see approach towards the new Labor government, particularly concerning the climate.

 
Column: M. Night Shyamalan and the Ableist Myth

Director M. Night Shyamalan has become something of a joke among film fans. Following the smash success of The Sixth Sense in 1999, he briefly became Hollywood’s golden boy, gracing the cover of Newsweek magazine in 2002 along with the moniker “The Next Spielberg”. Yet, he fell just as quickly, releasing a series of commercial and critical flops that destroyed the goodwill he had accumulated with his first three major features.

 
Column: The Tiny Blue Car

Round white headlights. An even rounder exterior. Metallic blue doors and black rubber tires. Scratched but intact side lamps. Worn fabric seats, peeling at the sides to expose yellow foam. Seven-year-old Chathu stared at the unfamiliar object, a tiny blue second-hand Nissan Micra with headlamps and grills that gave it the curious face of a two-year old child. “It’s our new car,” her father said proudly, the beams of the sun glinting off his bald head mirrored in the smile he gave her.

 
The Ironies of the ‘Public House’

My interest in the contemporary Melbournian pub began with an expensive Northcote parmigiana. 

As I tapped my card to facilitate the transfer of $26 from my bank account to the EFTPOS machine, I found myself wondering whether a pub meal was always this expensive. Sure, the cost of a chicken parmigiana must cover the price of ingredients, and the labour of preparing, cooking and serving the meal.

 
“We won’t go back”: Thousands in Melbourne Protest in solidarity against overturned Roe v Wade

Thousands of people took to the streets of Melbourne’s CBD on Saturday, protesting in solidarity against the overturning of the landmark Roe v Wade ruling by the US Supreme Court.

 
Australian Election Breakdown #2: By the Issues

Ben's back: electric boogaloo.

 
'Nepo babies' and white feminism: the '22 Teal Independents

Are these women just manifestations of white feminism who were brought forward on the premise of climate change and transparency?

 
Review: Six the Musical; Production, Creative Direction & Legacy

Six, possibly one of the most important musicals of our generation, has finally arrived in Melbourne, after originally being set to reign over the Comedy Theatre’s stage two years ago, before delays due to COVID-19. Six is the brainchild of students Toby Marlow and Lucy Moss, who created the glitzy pop musical across 10 non-consecutive days in the hopes of providing a platform for the musical talents of their female friends, and to rewrite how women are being portrayed in theatre.

 
Vivid from Inspiration | Blackout Poetry Competition, Third Place
An illustration with a black background. Across the image are scattered white music notes, a star, a

it’s difficult to pinpoint the exact moment that ignited creative expression. the movement began further blurring the answer

 
Students' Council Round Up: 9(22)

Burnley goes ham with motions.

 
Review: Susanville by The Chamber of Susans

We sent two Farrago writers to an improv show. They gave us different reviews.

 
“I’m ready to be something for you”: Carla Geneve, performing, and music-making

Just a song into the concert, she tunes her guitar and within moments, a string breaks.

 
So it’s the Federal Election Today… How do I Actually Vote?

POV: you're realising why you should have made that list of preferences.

 
Explainer: What you need to know about the preferential voting system

So, first question—why do we have preferential voting, and why does it matter?

 
A Very Condensed Impression of the Registered Parties: Part 4

It’s the final countdown… these are the last bunch of parties you might see on your ballots—depending on what state/electorate you’re from!

 
A Very Condensed Impression of the Registered Parties: Part 3

Side note: I’d like everybody to know that we have a James Bond running for the Senate in Victoria.

 
A (disassembled and underwhelming) conversation on voting Greens or Labor (w/ Adam Bandt)

It has come to my attention that even in a country with preferential voting, ideology and voting preferences don’t always align as one (me) might assume.

 
Profile: Jerome Small, Victorian Socialists Candidate for Calwell

Victorian Socialists candidate Jerome Small is up for Calwell this coming Federal Election. He spoke to Farrago about climate policy, labour rights, and the challenges for Victorian Socialists in the upcoming election.

 
Previous PMs Pick Sides as the Election Race Heads into the Homestretch

Here is a brief summary of where six former Australian Prime Ministers stand in the 2022 federal election.

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #7: Health

What do the parties and candidates say about healthcare in Australia?

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #6: Indigenous Affairs

What do the parties and candidates say about the Uluru statement or other policies to support Indigenous Australians?

 
A Contemporary National Anthem
A photograph of the Australian Parliament House at night

Australians, all / I do not believe that the colour of one’s skin determines whether you are disadvantaged. / Let us rejoice / It wasn’t a particularly flash day for the people on those vessels, either.

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #5: Gender Equality

How are each of the parties doing on gender representation? And what are their records and key policies on gender equality and women's safety?

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #4: Defence

What do the parties and candidates say about national security issues?

 
The LinkedIn Industrial Complex

I have attempted to make a LinkedIn profile twice in my life.

 
The Cost of Space Travel

I am named after the first woman in space, Valentina Tereshkova. This is usually my go-to “fun fact about myself” I have tucked away for the first week of uni classes; a simple and easy answer to most ice-breaker questions.

 
Hey hey hey, it’s time to recap the Kooyong Leaders Debate piece

Poor Selina, she had to watch the whole debate.

 
The Memes of the 2022 Election (so far)

Allegra gives us her opinions again!

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #3: Housing and Homelessness

With the rising housing market, renting, or buying a house has been increasingly unaffordable or precarious for many Australians.

 
Students' Council Round Up: 7(22)

Fighting? In your Students' Council? It's more likely than you think.

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #2: Education

What do the parties and candidates have to say about education or supporting students?

 
Can Independents break the addictive appeal of voting habits?

There’s an element of excitement to a candidate not tied to a party line. I quite like the idea of voting Independent. It is empowering.

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #1: Environment and Climate

This week we are looking at Environment and Climate Change.

 
The Comforts and Criticisms of Cottagecore

What comes to mind when you read the word “Cottagecore”? Is it images of flowing streams, thatched roofs and knitted cardigans? Or is the word utterly foreign to you? Unlike its contemporary counterparts, Cottagecore looks toward the past and embraces it. It takes aspects from a bygone era and repackages them to appeal to the present day.

 
Gender Hiring Quotas in Australia’s Workforce

The pay gap between men and women in Australia’s workforce averages 14.2 per cent, according to the 2021 Census. This figure represents the weekly discrepancy between men’s and women’s earnings in full-time work, accounting for careers and industries all across the board. Not ideal, but hey—it could be worse, right?

 
No One is Above the Law

Novak Djokovic. World No. 1 tennis player. His whole saga about trying to enter Australia without being vaccinated made global headlines. It turned out almost like a soap opera. He was initially refused entry despite having a permit, for which he successfully appealed. Yet the government once again rejected his entry, so he appealed once more but ended up being deported. Various news outlets either condemned or condoned Australian laws. So, what happened?

 
Staff Writer Film Recommendations: The Criminally Underrated Films You Would Die For

We all have those films that we watch and think, ‘why doesn’t everyone watch this movie all the time?!’ Perhaps it’s fallen by the wayside in the decades since it was released, or is an un-streamed masterpiece slowly being forgotten? So, here are the criminally underrated films we would die for from the Non-Fiction Staff Writing team at Farrago.

 
The Myth of Cisyphus

They keep words from children, so I had no name for what I was until puberty had finished with me. This language is narrow, and strains under even a little stretch. We confuse the plural pronoun, confuse it more when we apply it to flesh. For my part, I have a body that doesn’t announce itself: one of those faces that carried adolescence into the third decade, and hair long for a boy but short for a girl. If I were to pass a pair of strangers, I could be Man to one, and Woman to the other.

 
The Aesthetics of Poverty – Why students at UniMelb are so keen to appear poor.

The discourse accusing this so-called ‘student aesthetic’ of fetishising poorness has surfaced within the past year on social media (especially TikTok) and in conversations between students on and off-campus.

 
Review: Operation Mincemeat (2020)

Along with the atrocities of the Second World War came a total distrust of how we as humanity can communicate with each other. In that vein, Operation Mincemeat opens with the idea that there is a ‘seen’ war and a ‘hidden’ war. This duality between seen and unseen, between trust and distrust, and ultimately between hero and villain, is perhaps what this biographical war drama truly aims to showcase – and it achieves this to varying degrees of success.

 
Review: Dice Paper Role 'Myths & Legends', MICF 2022

You don’t have to be a “nerd” to enjoy good ol’ role-play

 
Gender and Self-Expression in the Time of the Plague

An underreported side effect of the pandemic has been the effect of widespread insecurity on people’s sense of self. In their 2021 study, researchers Gibbons and Thorton found that the changing social environment of the pandemic allowed people to “experiment with how they express their identity”. With this widespread focus on self-improvement throughout the pandemic, it is perhaps unsurprising that an increased number of young people have experienced qualms about their gender identity.

 
Hot Cocoa and Hot Cannibals: Snuggling Up with the Slasher

“That’s sweet,” a friend of mine said when I told her.

“It is,” I replied. “It’s the kind of sweetness you sometimes get with kids that’s somehow even sweeter for the tang it has of morbidity,

 
An ‘exorcism of perfection’, Beige Bitch forces us to confront the mediocrity within us all

Emily Carr presents a one-woman tour-de-force, a beautifully blunt exorcism of unrealistic expectations as captivatingly honest as it is tumultuously hilarious. Nominated in 2018 for Best Comedy at the Melbourne Fringe Festival for her work QUEENZ and performing regularly with the Mystery Radio Theatre Company, this is her debut solo show. And what a show it is – Emily Carr presents Beige Bitch with such infectious energy and charisma, taking her audience on a journey through carefully crafted s

 
Review: Empathy Training, MICF 2022

Should our mistakes define us? The dogmatic dominion of ‘cancel culture’, perpetuated by its re-tweeting apostles, has spread from social media fodder to become ubiquitous in real-life relationships. In Brendan Black and Martin Chewell’s play Empathy Training, shown at the La Mama theatre as a part of the Melbourne International Comedy Festival, this contemporary philosophy of ‘cancelling’ is pulled apart and prodded in comically genius and thought-provoking ways.

 
Review: Happening 'L’événement' (2021)

Audrey Diwan’s Happening is a simple film. Set in 1960s Paris, the story focuses on heroine Anne Duchesne (Anamaria Vartolomei), who leads a seemingly unremarkable life as a 20-year-old student trying to pass her entrance exams for university. The costumes, setting, and actors themselves are unglamorous, almost plain. When one thinks of it, it’s almost strange that Diwan’s no-frills approach is directed toward the magnanimous subject of abortion. This, however, may be the point.

 
Younger Siblings
A digital illustration of the Archibald Fountain in Hyde Park, with a smiling sun, a pathway, a tree

The conversation continued like a river, energetically rolling on before slamming into rocks and getting redirected.

 
On the Tip of the Tongue
An illustration of an open mouth with a spider inside and a kernel of popcorn trapped in its web. Th

Kasey lifted the bottom of her mask just enough to slip a popcorn kernel onto her tongue for Winona to nibble on.

 
A Screen is Not a Room (But it Might be a Door)
A fantastical digital sketch of a blond masculine-presenting person, face full of frustration, leani

It was the third consecutive night of video calling when I decided I’d had enough.

 
Murder on the Dancefloor: Tales from Late-Stage Hospitality - The Bar Fight
A white line artwork on a black background, depicting a crowd of distorted, abstract people on the l

The nightclub on Collins Street had no official cloakroom, and the alcohol-saturated crowds began shedding their jackets: dancing with silk over their arm, a sleeve dangling by their knee.

 
Enrol to Vote Now!

Come 21 May, every eligible Australian will go to the polling booths and cast their vote in the Federal Election. However, you must be enrolled to vote.

 
Review: Hope and Change in It Snows in Benidorm

Written and directed by Isabel Coixet, It Snows In Benidorm is as unreasonably beautiful in its imperfections as it is refreshing in its film elements, despite the dull and reclined protagonist we are introduced to. This is an exhilarating masterpiece, from the quirky and mysterious characters that populate its woefully dreamy world to the ever-transient scenes at the beach to the unique sectioning of the film into ten types of weather.

 
STI AWARENESS MONTH: 28% of young Aussies are skipping essential sexual health checks

Young Aussies are being significantly under-screened for sexually transmitted infections (STIs), with sexual health assistant app “Geni” reporting that 28 per cent are skipping out on essential sexual health checks.

 
Getting Versed in the Metaverse

In an hour-long video released in October 2021, Mark Zuckerberg expounded about what the rebrand of Facebook Inc. envisioned for the Internet’s future, discussing innovative ideas and concepts in the realms of entertainment, education, business, and—surprisingly—privacy.

 
The Dark Side of New Religious Movements

Jane, whose name has been changed to maintain her anonymity, was raised in the spiritual tradition of Falun Gong. It is one of many new religious movements (NRMs) that emerged from the Qigong boom of late 20th century China. The PRC’s policy of state atheism had seen many traditional religions wiped out. Still, qigong was accepted because it was considered a form of Chinese medicine that used meditative exercises to refine one’s health.

 
The Feminist Wave Construct

Where do we learn to be feminists? How do we learn to be feminists? For many of us, it’s not as simple as picking up a book by Virginia Woolf or attending a university lecture on gender studies. And yet, these are some of the stereotypes by which we have come to qualify feminist identification. Of course, there’s nothing wrong with studying feminist literature, or attending feminist lectures, but such academic resources should not be the only means of ‘learning’ feminism. Here's why.

 
Crypto-masculinities

I encounter the bitcoin boy far later than most others. His devotion to the world of bitcoin makes him easy to poke fun at and he is quickly compacted into an unflattering archetype. Over time, bitcoin boy becomes easy to spot in both online spaces and real-world interactions. Over time, bitcoin boy also becomes wealthier.

 
Satire: Farrago Shuts Down; Honi Soit Now Australia's Oldest Student Publication

As of today, Farrago Magazine, Australia’s oldest student publication, will cease operations under the current four editors.

 
"Nothing has changed!”: On the Global Climate Strike

We knew of this crisis in the ‘70s, and these strikes began in 2018. A whole pandemic has occurred, a generation of strikers have graduated, and we still haven’t had meaningful climate action, let alone justice.

 
Felicide Friday

They don’t look anything alike. They’re simply two cats, existing separately but parallel in my mind.

 
pink cadillac (in memoriam)
An illustration of a bright pink cadillac in front of a small petrol station in the middle of the de

car crash simulation straight out of heaven / and you, in the driver’s seat (Jesus take the wheel!)

 
Rattle
An illustration of femme person with blond hair and a shining diamond engagement ring. She appears d

“A ring is a promise,” Evangeline’s mother told her as she sat upon her knee.

 
Through a Window
A illustration of an ornamental castle window, with fairy tale vibes, pictured from the inside. The

Sweetness wasn’t alone / When it flew out your window, / For some dusty sorrow hung soon after.

 
A Lighthouse
A fantastical lighthouse shining through layers of clouds and swirly lines. The lighthouse is pictur

I’ve been drowned / By my own brother. Tonight / He comes from a sailor’s grave / With a makeshift lantern.

 
Earthworms
A haphazard pattern of sketched leaves and stars on a dark grey background. On the right side of the

Earthworms / don’t have eyes, but they have light— / sensitive receptors in their skin. Especially their front end.

 
Ordinary Phenomena: The Elephant's Call
A digital illustration of a young femme person sitting alone in the carriage of a train, riding thro

The invitation comes as a surprise; somehow it always does.

 
Will The DJ Be Automated?

The late music industry lecturer Ed Montano wrote in 2010 that “the DJ will always have a role in club culture”. More than a decade later, technological advances have fully digitised the DJ’s tools, prompting the idea that the DJ themselves could soon be digitised. An automated, artificially intelligent DJ could be an easily achievable cost reduction for venues— so why hasn’t the DJ been automated?

 
A Viet-Aus. Experience: Why The @#$! Was My Grandmother Talking About Donald Trump?

I know, I know. We’re literally a whole year and an ocean away from the Trump administration. Really, this is something I had forgotten about—at least—until I realised that I stopped having to manoeuvre family interactions around it. Thinking back on it, it was a bizarre experience seeing as how before 2019, anything resembling “politics talk” from my grandmother was unthinkable.

 
Never See Your Favourite Artists Live

Never See Your Favourite Artists Live: A Concert Review of Lisa Mitchell’s ‘Zombie’ Single Launch at the Corner Hotel

We arrive at the bustling Corner Hotel band room, bee-lining for the gap at the front. The crowd is a mix of: 1. other twenty-something girls who have grown up on a diet of Missy Higgins, Charlie & Lola, The Rainbow Magic Series and hand-me-down stripey-toe socks and 2. the cool parents responsible for introducing them to Albury local indie-pop songstress, Lisa Mitchell.

 
In the Deep End: Public Swimming Pools in Colonial Australia

Australia is a hot place. Semi-tropical New South Wales is especially so. In 1965, very few people could afford to build their own swimming pool. The public pool was more than a quaint site of pre-adolescent fun but a public necessity. Public pools also belonged to that collection of spaces which formed the social fabric of a country town. For white patrons at least, they were neutral grounds on which to meet. For others, they became a battleground.

 
A Goodbye to Union House—and a glance into the future for Union House Theatre

For those of you who have been keeping up with the University’s updates, you may be aware of the upcoming Student Precinct that is currently reaching its final stages of construction.

 
Groove Tunes: Creating accessible space in music for people living with a disability

A live music event that promises to be entirely accessible and inclusive for people living with a disability is attempting to change the music landscape for attendees and artists alike.

 
Your guide to combating Test cricket mansplaining

What the fuck is Test cricket and why is it so complicated?

 
Students Demand More Support in Student Life Programs

With the prospective return to on-campus life in 2021, students have called for more variety and non-academic elements in the Student Life programs to better support first-year undergraduates.

 
Snow Medical cuts ties with the University after inaction on gender and racial diversity

Australia’s largest philanthropic donor to medical research Snow Medical has suspended the University of Melbourne from their Snow Fellowship program.

 
“Karrinjarla muwajarri—we call for ceasefire.”

On 9 November 2019, Warlpiri man Kumanjayi Walker was shot three times dead by police officer Zachary Rolfe. He was only nineteen.

 
Feminism and the home in Steph Markerink’s Domesticated

Union House’s George Paton Gallery (GPG) is currently home—in the truest sense of the word—to curator Steph Markerink’s exhibition Domesticated.

 
Students' Council Round Up: 4(22)

I walk a lonely road...

 
Finding Sense in the Cinema Again

You’re in a large room filled with many seats. To avoid any confusion, you made sure to get into your assigned seat early, or maybe you arrived right on time. Other people filter in and walk past you trying to find their row. The lights seem to be dimming, but you’re also not sure if they are. You may call this place the cinema, the movie theatre, the silver screen, or the pictures. What happens next has the power to profoundly affect you— if you allow it.

 
ET, Phone My Home (Please)

One night in August 1993, Kelly Cahill awakens from a lapse of unconsciousness, unable to recall the events that had taken place just minutes beforehand. Her life was about to change forever.

On a night some 29 years later, mostly untouched by the story of Kelly Cahill and her legacy, I sit watching ‘Paul’ with my mum, pondering what my dad has always told me about the extra-terrestrial happenings in the area in which we live, and yet feeling entirely detached from it.

 
down with capitalism

over the past few years, i’ve witnessed friends, family and now even myself fall victim to a sickening trend. 

what started (i can only assume) as a simple grammatical mistake, has since taken over the entire internet. but maybe, this disturbing phenomenon is actually for the best.

 
Interview: Julius Black on Experimental Alt-Pop Sophomore EP, “Together We Go Down In The Dark”

Soft, dark and haunting. Kiwi artist Julius Black is back on the alt-pop scene with his latest EP, “Together We Go Down In The Dark”, an episodic visage of one’s descent into a toxic love-induced madness.

 
Dear Diary: The PM's Retrospective Journal

It has been a big few weeks, my worst New Year’s ever.

 
VCA Students Demand UniMelb to Commit to “Zero Tolerance” Policy

Students at the Victorian College of the Arts (VCA) are calling on the University of Melbourne to “commit to stronger policies and actions when it comes to sexual assault”, after the University ignored multiple reports which detailed alleged sexual and racial harassment by a male student as far back as 2019.

 
Eternals, A Review by FASFAS

Marvel has released another action-packed, complex and thrilling film, and with it, we have been given another piece of the Marvel Cinematic Universe (MCU) puzzle.

The first instalment of the Fantasy and Science Fiction Appreciation Society (FASFAS)'s review column, 'Eternals'

 
Column: Unwriting the hero's journey in Chicory: A Colourful Tale

On its surface, Greg Lobanov’s Chicory: A Colourful Tale is the poster child for escapist video games. Chicory is a colouring book turned video game, complete with Zelda-inspired puzzles, Metroidvania elements, and fun side-quests… all of which combine to create a disarmingly devastating commentary on what we are taught to want, as opposed to what what we actually need.

The first instalment in Aries' column, 'Unwriting the hero's journey in Chicory: A Colourful Tale'

 
Column: A Whole New World

8351 kilometres and two planes later. A sudden loss of heat and humidity. Hands nervously twisting together. Breathing hitched and shallow. Six-year-old Chathu looked out at her new classmates, her eyes slightly shielded by a heavy black curtain fringe. A sea of children stared at her; seated together, their heads looked like a patch quilt; every shade of brown, red and yellow.

The first instalment of Chathuni Gunatilake's column, 'A Whole New World'

 
The Coffee Pot

The old percolator makes about a mug and a half.

 
A Farrago Family Dinner with Busted Chops

Performing with Busted Chops is like drinking a shot of fireball and eating a pineapple.

 
Review: Drama School by Alistair Ward

In Drama School, the question of what it means to be a good actor ultimately becomes an inquiry into what it means to live a fulfilling life.

 
Review: Studio 666

Gone are the days where rock bands were such an IP in and of themselves that they warranted their own movie. That is precisely why Foo Fighters' Studio 666 stands out as an unburdened and creatively absurd project amidst the current rising sea of mass formulaic media.

 
Review: Sumodo ~ The Successors of Samurai, Japanese Film Festival 2022

Despite being the national sport of Japan, sumo remains relatively unknown to the western world. Director Eiji Sakata seems to have taken this lack of familiarity as a challenge, with Sumodo - The Successors of the Samurai offering an intricate introduction to sumo through its history and place within modern Japanese culture.

 
Review: It's a Summer Film!, Japanese Film Festival 2022

A trio of cinema-loving schoolgirls that we know only by their quirky codenames—Barefoot, Kickboard and Blue Hawaii—cobble together a ragtag production crew to create a samurai film. Only, they find out mid-production that one of their crew members is a time traveller from a dystopian future where their beloved films are banned, no less. A premise like this demands heart, spunk, and energy by the truckload, and luckily, It’s A Summer Film! delivers without fault.

 
Divestment for Dummies: An UMSU Enviro Guide

Care about the environment but don't know what to do? Don't worry, 2022 UMSU Environment OBs Chelsea Daniel and Zach Matthews are coming to the rescue.

 
Students' Council Round Up: 3(22)

Giddy Up! Yeehaw! Second council! Already losing my brain!

 
Review: The Silent World That Won’t Stop Talking, Nico Lim’s Daring Debut

On 13 February 2020, Nico Lim posted on his Instagram account @_flashpoetry, for the first time. This post signalled the beginning of a new project; an attempt to break down his hesitancy to share his creative work. This demolition of his caution hardened barriers manifests itself in The Silent World That Won’t Stop Talking, Nico’s debut poetry collection.

 
RAs initiate class-action lawsuit against UniLodge

UniLodge will be facing a class-action lawsuit initiated late last year by multiple residential advisors (RAs) working with Adero Law. The lawsuit accuses UniLodge and partnered universities, including the University of Canberra and the University of Sydney, of wage theft and exploitation.

 
Review: Barrikade, Transitions Film Festival

Acclaimed German photojournalist David Klammer’s new film is taking the documentary world by storm. Awarded best documentary at the Snowdance Independent Film Festival, Barrikade was also selected to be screened at the Kassel Dokfest, SUNCINE Film Festival, and Portland EcoFest, to name just a few. Released in 2021, Barrikade depicts the lives of German climate activists who built and occupied treehouses in the Dannenrod Forest to protest its clearing for the construction of a new motorway.

 
I Came, I ‘Sa’, I Cried: Parvyn launches debut album

All eyes are glued to Parvyn as the gleaming stage lights make a disco ball of her gold sequined choli, and she welcomes us to the unveiling of Sa, an album about love and family, betrayal and anxiety, written during the pandemic.

 
Addressing the Opinion Piece: “The GSA is Rushing Through Structural Changes...”

GSA General Secretary Lily Day writes a response to an opinion written about the GSA's proposed structural changes.

 
Anti-vaxxers: A Lost Cause?

Have you ever encountered an anti-vaxxer? Perhaps a family member, a friend or even online? Encounters with an anti-vaxxer, whether it is in person or online, tend to leave people frustrated, however, exploring the psychology behind the anti-vaxxer mentality may be the key in learning what you can do to influence vaccine-hesitant people.

 
Review: The Ants and the Grasshopper, Transitions Film Festival

Raj Patel’s new documentary gets its title from an Aesop’s fable. In the fable, a fiddle-playing grasshopper approaches some ants asking them to lend him some food. The ants ask why he has no food of his own, to which he replies that he’s been too busy playing the fiddle to grow and stockpile crops. The ants, rather dispassionately, are disgusted by the grasshopper’s laziness, and leave him to starve. This theme of abandonment is the launchpad for Patel’s documentary.

 
Review: A.rtificial I.mmortality, Transitions Film Festival

For the first time last week, I yearned for immortality. I stared at the unread books on my shelves, the pages collecting dust; I thought about the seas I’d never cross, the countries I’d never visit; I mourned the conversations I’d never have, the things I’d never learn.

 
Review: Bottom by Will Hudson, dir. Gavin Roach

The curtain of Willy Hudson’s Bottom rises and falls with Beyoncé. As theatregoers take their seats, “Love on Top” plays on a loop, affirming protagonist Willy’s devotion to his pop idol— as if the monstrous cut-out mood-boards weren’t enough. Running just shy of an hour, Bottom explores the various illusions and expectations inherent to that all-too-important third date. After all, he hasn’t yet been asked that dreadfully reductive, crushingly inevitable question: “Top or bottom?”

 
Review: Run dir. Gavin Roach, a One-Man Show Starring Ben Stuart

Gavin Roach’s one-man show, Run, is an endearing, unique and impressive piece of theatre that bravely lays itself out completely bare to its audience. It can’t hide, and it doesn’t try to.

 
OPINION: The GSA is Rushing Through Structural Changes That Will Crush Student Democracy

On 5 February, a blog post appeared on the website of the Graduate Student Association (GSA) announcing major plans to reshape its structure and amend its constitution. Obscured by a number of seemingly innocuous changes is a proposed transformation that would impose serious limits on student activism, and should be of concern to all graduate students.

 
Review: The Shy Manifesto

Written by Michael Ross and directed by Gavin Roach, the Australian premiere of The Shy Manifesto opened in Melbourne as part of Midsumma Festival. British playwright Michael Ross has enjoyed a string of accolades in the UK, including being shortlisted for the 2014 Off West End Adopt a Playwright Award.

 
The Recipe for Loving My Chinese Parents

The recipe for loving my parents is complex. It is the product of countless mental notes from years of trial and error and several mishaps. The golden step to avoid getting scalded, you ask? Greasing your pan with several layers of patience.

 
What does 2022 have in store for club life?

The UniMelb Italian Stallion is writing for Farrago. Welcome to 2022.

 
Cosmic Medicine

Who didn’t love the Science Works Planetarium as a kid? The universe in high-definition above our pig-tailed and bowl cut heads; the hush that fell over the domed room as they lowered the lights; the dancing red pointer they used to describe stories in the stars.

Science Works isn’t quite so popular among senior high school students.

 
NUS condemns increased university funding announced by Morrison Government

The National Union of Students (NUS) have condemned the Coalition Government’s new research funding project which will see a $1.6 billion increase in university funding for “projects with high potential commercialisations” in fields that are deemed high priority by the Government.

 
University of Melbourne removes LSAT as entry requirement for Juris Doctor

The Melbourne Law School (MLS) has permanently removed the Law School Admission Test (LSAT) as an entry requirement for all Juris Doctor (JD) applicants from 2022 and beyond

 
Interview: Dekleyn’s latest single ‘Save My Name’ and the future of their sound

Formed in 2017, Aussie duo Dekleyn are no strangers to the music industry. Having amassed over 5 million streams on Spotify over the last 3 years, the two have made a name for themselves in the realm of memorable, irresistibly catchy and skilful songs. Inspired by the beat from their 2021 single ‘Over Again’, ‘Save My Name’ is a heartfelt song that delivers a sincere yet uplifting emotional narrative through the duo’s reliable roots in electronic pop.

 
Review: Love, Hate and Fixation in The Hating Game

“Hating someone feels disturbingly like falling in love with them,”

Bookending the opening monologue, this quote astutely summarises the narrative of the screen adaptation of Sally Thorne’s bestselling novel, The Hating Game. The film follows Lucy, played by Lucy Hale, and Josh, played by Austin Stowell, as they toe the oh-so-narrow line between love and hate, falling predictably in the former.

 
DeVil DAWNS DIOR

Last year Cruella made a reappearance on screens in a live-action origin story of the fur-fashioned fiend. The film captures the transformation of the villainess—a brash, quirky but sagacious maverick, and the humble but twisted beginnings which induce her maniacal traits.

 
Interview: Will Hyde on the powerful, visual world of his sophomore EP ‘nothing ever changes’

Every so often, an artist comes around with an almost supernatural ability to capture the mutability of adolescence in their work. will hyde does exactly this, weaving a powerful, emotional story of youth throughout his sophomore EP ‘nothing ever changes’. The EP combines singles released previously as ‘chapters' with new unheard tracks, narrating a journey of growth and acceptance that serves as a testament to will hyde’s growth and maturity as an artist.

 
Collaboration, creativity, and the power of a collective: alum reflect on student media

Aeva and Allie caught up with three former Farrago contributors to look at their lives after student media.

 
“The archives are haunted!”: The Titwitchez are back with Hagademia

COVID-19 has attempted to stop the arts industry at every turn but queer comedy coven, The Titwitchez, have no fucks to give. In their latest production Hagademia, they have to face much more with a looming deadline and sexy hauntings.

 
Managing footy and full-time study: Farrago sits down with Ellyse Gamble

Farrago reporter Patrick Sexton sat down with Western Bulldogs player Ellyse Gamble to talk about how she managed the commitments of full-time study and footy, as well as what the future looks like for AFLW players studying at a tertiary level as the League looks to expand.

 
International students finally allowed to return to Australia

After 21 months, international students can finally return to Australia.

 
FarraGoes to NatCon '21: A Guide

What is NatCon? Jo doesn't know but Max does!

 
Federal government to slash university debts for rural and regional nurses and doctors

The federal government has announced a new scheme which will wipe the university debts of nurses and doctors who work in rural, regional, and remote areas.

 
“Shame on you, Duncan!”: Students and staff rally against casualisation at Melbourne University

University of Melbourne staff and students rallied outside Vice-Chancellor Duncan Maskell’s Parkville mansion yesterday in opposition to the University’s growing casualisation of teaching staff.

 
OPINION: In the Morrison Government, Students Deserve No Second Chances

In a sequel nobody asked for, the Student Learning Entitlement will return in 2022. This will limit how long you can study in Commonwealth Supported Places (CSP) before you either pay the full, exorbitant fees or pray for a FEE-HELP loan.

 
 
 
 
 
Students and staff say no to the Robert Menzies Institute

Students gathered on South Lawn yesterday to protest the opening gala of the Liberal-backed think-tank Robert Menzies Institute (RMI).

 
Staying Alive (CWC Video — Winner)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
In case of emergency (rearrange as required) (CWC Video — 2nd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
a pinter moment (CWC Video — 3rd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
Grocery Shopping (CWC Photography — Winner)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
Untitled 2 (CWC Photography — 3rd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
Don't I look like a tree? (CWC Art — Winner)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
Bog Ravens (CWC Art — 2nd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
 
 
OAK

 
Birdman: Review

I had a nasty experience with this film, which came naturally as I saw it the same day that Millicent and I had our first fight. I suppose it was always coming. She’s been speaking to me less and becoming increasingly passive aggressive. She has an elitist demeanour, and I’m only now realising that she’s been judging me. I finally confronted her about it, and the argument quickly spiralled into chaos. Insults were hurled, and some of my contraptions were damaged. It started off[...]

 
Farrago

—circa 1989

 
OPINION: Why students should protest the opening of the Menzies Institute on November 18

The grand opening of the Robert Menzies Institute will come to Parkville campus this November 18 in the form of a conference and gala dinner on campus. The Menzies Institute is a Liberal Party think-tank masquerading as a Prime Ministerial library being set up in the Old Quad by the Menzies Research Centre (MRC) and the University of Melbourne. The Institute will shape campus life...

 
Hocus-Pocus Recipes and Rituals: Making Fiction Come to Life!
Selena reads a book from which colourful bubbles fly, forming an image of her lying with a femme lov

Live a few lifetimes here and there, have a go at reviving Frankenstein’s monster myself and enjoy a spot of soothing peppermint tea together.

 
“Where’s the essay, OP?”: TikTok is ADHD Culture, Tumblr is Autism Culture

It is a truth universally acknowledged—at least among those in the know—that different neurotypes will naturally gravitate towards different social media platforms.

Before taking a deep dive into cyberspace, let’s backtrack a little and start with the basics of neurotypes and the neurodiversity movement. The term ‘neurotype’ arose out of the neurodiversity movement, the founding ideology of which was kickstarted by Autistic Australian sociologist Judy Singer in 1998.

 
The Rise of Eco-anxiety in Generation Z: How Climate Change is Affecting our Mental Health

In a world constantly bombarded with news about floods, earthquakes and bushfires, it is no surprise there has been a rise in eco-anxiety over the past few years.

Are you someone who has difficulty falling asleep because you are constantly thinking about the impacts of climate change, or do you feel a sense of doom at the rising sea levels? Have you ever felt that fear as if you were on a sinking planet and there is nothing you can do to save it? If so, you may have experienced eco-anxiety.

 
Happiness is a Warm Gun: Firearm Culture at Home and Abroad

Last month in America, the gun manufacturer Remington reached a legal settlement with the families of those who lost their lives in the 2012 Sandy Hook Massacre. $73 million will be shared equally amongst the families who took Remington to court, hoping to establish their legal culpability for the massacre. This settlement is not, of course, adequate compensation for what these families have lost.

 
I No Longer Want to be That Girl: A Deconstruction of Wellness Culture

The emergence of that girl culture is one of the internet's best-kept secrets. As the poster child of wellness and productivity, that girl will never be spotted without a matcha latte or some plant-based drink in her hand. Apart from said drink, her other trustworthy companions might include her $65 yoga mat and a black Moleskine journal for morning reflections.

 
Orbits
A slightly blurred, as if to appear three-dimensional, digital artwork of planets and stars. Two pla

The sun brines in a sticky chicken broth / watching one to eight float in her belly

 
Ordinary Phenomena: Fireflies in the Suburbs
An illustration of a street lamp with a triangular beam of light illuminating a circle on the ground

It's suburban living, the sparks from the blistering street lights competing with nettled crickets

 
Like a Snake Eating its own Tail: BPD, Non-Binarism and TikTok, a Tarot Reading

Sometimes, we get complacent. Even with things we care about.

A couple of months ago, at twenty years old—already seven years into my gruelling mental health journey—I was diagnosed with ADHD, generalised anxiety disorder, OCD and PTSD by a psychiatrist. As you can imagine, broadcasting this on a platform like Farrago—with a readership that I actually have to interact with—is pretty fucking terrifying.

 
Films for the Directionless Twenty-Something Year-Old

Film Recommendations from Farrago’s Non-Fiction Staff-Writing Team (and Ivan).

 
Data in the Dark: a look at COVID corruption

As far as rich, highly vaccinated countries are concerned, Omicron is a relic of yesteryear. With pandemic restrictions fading as cases continue to plummet, for what feels like the hundredth time in the last two years, a select few dare to dream of returning to an almost-forgotten state of interconnectivity "post-Covid." However, the catastrophic moral failures of the pandemic should not slip our collective memory anytime soon.

 
Grandmother Rose | Blackout Poetry Competition, Second Place
A dark-red-and-white illustration of a teacup in front of a teapot with leaves and flowers coming ou

She bends slow, steady, tense my emotions. She could always read the inevitability of my future.

 
i | Blackout Poetry Competition, First Place
An illustration of a disembodied torso, with a background of blue glued tinfoil on the left side and

o will my heart ripple as i float in the night, on the wind like everything is u n I

 
A quick recap of marginal Chisholm

If you are under 25, Chisholm is probably identifiable to you by Zero Mode in the suburb of Box Hill and Glenny Kebabs in Glen Waverley—other than these two joints, there’s really not much else happening there.

 
“Old umpires just strip and don’t give a shit”: The AFL’s need for systemic gender equality change

To fully realise gender equality, the AFL, local footy leagues and fans must reflect on their contributions to the unsafe culture experienced by report participants.

 
You’re not that guy pal, trust me: politicians and sports

The sporting field is home to many of Australian politicians’ greatest gaffes. Yet they keep coming back—why?

 
Farrago’s definitive guide to coffee on campus.

Our campus has a surplus of cafés throughout its buildings and hidden in little pockets. Many of these have changed since 2019, with notable favourites the Brew Sisters (a moment of silence for my triple shot flat white for $3.50

 
After years of neglect, is Labor’s promise of cultural policy enough to save the Australian arts?

It’s always a good sign when one party announces their cultural policy five days before the election and the other party doesn’t have a cultural policy at all.

 
Major parties with no plans to fix the housing market this election

Ultimately, until the toxic politics of homeownership are tackled in direct and unabashed fashion, there can be no expectation that this housing crisis will be resolved.

 
Farrago Policy Comparisons #8: Democracy and Integrity

What do the parties and candidates say about improving democracy and trust in politics?

 
Growing Up a Misogynist: how I learnt to overcome my internalised misogyny and love Taylor Swift

Then the song comes to a slow fade and your heart rate increases as you anxiously await the next song. Taylor Swift’s I Knew You Were Trouble. The cute boy’s relaxed nonchalance contorts into a look of disgust, and you panic to ensure he knows you’re not like the other girls singing along. You could never like Taylor Swift and you think it’s stupid that these other girls do.

 
IN DEFENCE OF IGNORANCE

Social media is brimming with cultural commentary, political movements and aesthetic infographics. The belief is that if you are not up to date, then you don’t care. It is purported that if you are not informed, then you are part of the problem. I want to challenge this misconception. The expectation imposed on us today is that we should all be arriving at some final destination of intellectual enlightenment. This is, of course, a fictional destination. Today, I will provide you with a defence.

 
TikTok on the Historical Clock

To understand the effect TikTok is having on the way pop music is being written, it is worth looking at what a TikTok hit actually is—a more complicated proposition than it might appear. A song that becomes a hit on TikTok often finds subsequent chart success; if the artist is a relative unknown, major label interest is often quick to follow. But all this is happening after the fact of its initial virality—and it isn’t the artist that goes viral, nor even the song itself.

 
Bedrooms: a reflection of our journey growing up

Fifteen, sixteen, seventeen… ah, crap. It’s 2010. Once again, your nine-year-old self has lost track of how many glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling you've counted in a bleak attempt to fall asleep. Skip to 2022. Your twenty-one-year-old self still counts the glow-in-the-dark stars on the ceiling. This time around, most of the stars have fallen off. Your earphones are blaring Royals by Lorde, and you relive the peaceful days of being twelve.

 
A Very Condensed and Superficial Impression of the Registered Parties for the 2022 Federal Election

This is the first in a series of summaries of all 38 registered political parties. First up are the 11 parties that currently make up both houses of parliament.

 
Formula One returns: ‘sometimes it takes removing a mark to leave one’

The black and papaya liveries of the McLaren racing team showcased the sport’s first Indigenous sponsor, DeadlyScience.

 
Teal Independent Monique Ryan No Longer the Underdog in Kooyong

As the 2022 election draws closer, so too does the contest between the two candidates, in what Frydenberg has admitted will be the "fight of [his] political life".

 
The “Filipino GBF”: Puzzle Pieces of a Rich Filipino History

Again, the question popped up. If gender fluidity was present in the Tagalog language and the pre-colonial Philippines, why then do the majority of the older generation Filipinos lean towards homophobic mindsets?

It’s simple, really.

Colonisation.

 
Students' Council Round Up: 6(22)

Do people outside UMSU read these?

 
Review: Anthony Locascio’s ‘Don’t Call me a Wog’!, MICF 2022

It’s opening night. Ten minutes before the show, Andrew Locascio pokes his head through the ruby-velvet curtain. With a cheeky grin to his awaiting audience, he says, “don’t worry guys, the show’s purely rhetorical”. Assured that this wasn’t one of those awkward audience participation situations, the atmosphere felt tangibly at ease. Before even beginning his show, Locascio had managed to dispel discomfort - and he maintained this throughout the evening.

 
Union House Theatre is back with Nora: A Doll’s House.

Union House Theatre (UHT) returns to campus this week with Stef Smith’s Nora: A Doll’s House, a radical retelling of Henrik Ibsen’s classic A Doll’s House, and a crucial and relevant tale about women’s rights throughout the last century.

 
Review: Tom Mac at the Gaso

Mac truly knows how to craft a great set and create a beautifully intimate, yet energetic atmosphere. If you have an interest in Australian folk rock, I’d highly recommend checking out his music.

 
A WIP Around the Workshop: Magical Realism - A Genre of Defiance
A collection of red, green and white outlines of objects on a black background, beside the edge of a

When people find out that I write, their inevitable first question is: “What do you write?”

 
Pay for a Pandemic
An excerpt from 'Pay for a Pandemic', a found poem, with a beige-orange gradient background. The tex

we’re in another stage / we have to live with this / this virus / it’s a test / someone's always going to pay for it

 
We, the Fleas
An illustration of a tree and a headstone on a sharp cliff to the right, and roots that become snake

My best cursive sits on a headstone / We wear name tags to bed / As if the death-nurse does not know us

 
May It Please The Court: What The Law Gets Wrong About Sex

Almost universally, female sexual pleasure is de-centred and depicted as a lesser counterpart to male sexual pleasure. This phenomenon manifests in the orgasm gap between heterosexual women and men—a study found that only 6% of women orgasm every time they have sex, yet it remains the expectation that sex isn’t over until a man cums. A gendered perception of pleasure has leeched into all facets of daily life.

 
Review: The Duke (2022)

I am calling it: this is the best feel-good film that I have had the pleasure of watching for as long as I can remember.

Olivia Ryan's review of 'The Duke' at Cinema Nova

 
Students' Council Round Up: 5(22)

I walk... a very lonely road...

 
Da Budget Breakdown

To dorks like me, the federal budget is like Christmas come early. We all sit around the fireplace and wait for Santa (Josh Frydenberg) to deliver us a ton of goodies.

 
Satan Wears a Bra
An illustration of a femme person sitting on a tiled floor, placing a cigarette in an ashtray. Their

You are an observer / of calloused hands on brass strings / Crimson plastic, nostrils pierced in backyards

 
Hocus-Pocus Recipes and Rituals: How to Summon a Demon Friend
An illustration of a purple owl with glowing yellow eyes and outstretched wings, sitting atop a pent

Here I’m going to show you some simple tricks of the trade to summoning a demon to the mortal realm.

 
arrival
A thin, knobbly, twisting tree truck extends from the bottom left side of the image and transitions

now i have moved out for good. / farewell fairy bread, farewell forehead / kisses, farewell mum’s wedding rings

 
On The Ideology of Diet

We throw the phrase ‘you are what you eat’ around so much that I think we forget that it’s true. Do you ever really think about what it means to eat?—about what happens when you eat? The intimacy of it all? Your food becomes one with you when digestion reduces it to its base components and repurposes them to build your cells. Long before we discovered that science, we were thinking up ways to eat “correctly”.

 
Column: Reflections on the “Autistic Genius”

Within fiction, the portrayal of autistic characters most often adheres to that of the ‘autistic genius’. While it is a fraught activity to pathologise and diagnose fictional characters, there's value in comparing these famous representations of neurodivergence in fiction by doing just that. 

The first instalment in Ishan Morris-Gray's Column, 'Reflections on the “Autistic Genius”'

 
Domesticated: Feminism in past and future at the George Paton Gallery

The George Paton Gallery returns this 2022 with upcoming student exhibition Domesticated,.

 
Review: Her Love Boils Bathwater, Japanese Film Festival 2022

Her Love Boils Bathwater (2016) is a charming Japanese drama by Ryota Nakano. It is a film about the benevolent power of family, womanhood, and most importantly, motherhood.  Equal parts comedy and tragedy, it’s the kind of film that will lift your spirits, only to break your heart, only to lift your spirits once again.

 
A Love Letter to the Transgender Community

We see so much trans pain and suffering, but I promise you: trans joy exists, and it is there, and it is beautiful

 
Gaslight, Gatekeep, Greenwash

To nobody’s surprise, #Shein(doesn’t)Care.  

Capitalising on the global push towards sustainability, numerous fast fashion brands have launched marketing campaigns or undertaken attempts to rebrand themselves as eco-warriors. Claiming to be sustainable is a double-edged sword that mega-brands are (un)successfully trying to wield in their favour.

 
Review: Grief, Art and Chekhov in Drive My Car

Co-written and directed by Ryusuke Hamaguchi, Drive My Car is a cinematic reconstruction of Haruki Murakami’s original short story of the same title. Hamaguchi is an artisan with ennui, wielding suspended moments of tension effortlessly to dramatic effect. Building on Murakami’s template, he has created a story about the innate human tendency to mindlessly move forward, a secret and often hidden desire to continue living despite feeling like we don’t deserve to.

 
UMSU Queer Department Pulls Out of Midsumma Pride March

The UMSU Queer Department has announced that they will no longer attend the Midsumma Festival Pride March.

 
Students' Council Round Up: 2(22)

Giddy Up! Yeehaw! First Council of the new year!

 
Join the Student Representative Network this year!

Applications to join the Student Representative Network (SRN) are currently open until 31 January.

 
“What if I just suddenly stop playing?”: On Stella Farnan

Farrago reporter Aeva Milos sits down with local musician Stella Farnan.

 
Burning Brighter: The La Mama Theatre Returns

After a devastating electrical fire in 2018, the theatre community banded together to rebuild La Mama.

 
Justin Baré resigns as UMSU CEO

In a statement released today, Justin Baré has resigned from his position as CEO of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) and will be leaving at the end of this year.

 
The body in motion: UN-SPORTS-MAN-LIKE by Nicholas Currie

Drawing from the tradition of art not as institution but as record, as history, Currie’s debut exhibit UN-SPORTS-MAN-LIKE revels in the body, in dance, and performance, as well as sport and manual labour.

 
Close Contact (CWC Audio/Music — Winner)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
Lockdown Calamity (CWC Audio/Music — 2nd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
I was thinking. (CWC Audio/Music — 3rd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
City Monsters 2 (CWC Photography — 2nd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
Untitled (CWC Art — 3rd Place)

In late 2021, the Media Department ran the 'Creative with COVID' competition, which encouraged students to continue creating in spite of everything going on in the world around them. There were four categories in the competition—art, photography, audio/music and video—with prizes awarded to 1st, 2nd and 3rd place in each. All winning works are available on our website for you to enjoy.

 
 
2021 Edition Five: SATIRE-IN-BRIEF

Phew! Nadia Bartel will not face any criminal charges after Victoria Police decide they cannot possibly determine what that suspicious white substance was...

 
An open letter to all student politicians

As sleek Facebook frames are slowly being removed from the profile pictures of university students in their early twenties, and social media feeds are returning to normal from constant ‘vote for me’ content, we can celebrate that another season of student elections has ended.

 
Our Stories in Numbers: The representation of victim survivors in the National Student Safety Survey

cw: mentions of sexual assault and harassment, institutional neglect


From 6 September to 3 October, Universities Australia—the country’s peak corporate body of higher education—ran the National Student Safety Survey (NSSS). Conducted by Dr. Anastasia Powell (RMIT), and the Social Research Centre, the survey is aimed at “encouraging students to share about their experiences of sexual harassment, sexual assault or unwanted sexual behaviour.”

 
 
University of Melbourne reverses WAM policy despite mass petition

A petition conducted by the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Education Department recently called for the extension of Weighted Average Mark (WAM) adjustments for Semester One 2021. However, over 20,000 signatures failed to convince the University to review the importance of the compassionate policy to both domestic and international students.

 
"Please don’t ask if we’ve tried yoga”: Students fighting for disability support

Despite the University’s push to make learning accessible, through programs such as SEDS and Access Melbourne, there have yet to be endorsements from students that these programs are appropriate. Instead, students feel silenced and powerless in an institution that should be prioritising its student body and ensuring an equal and inclusive environment.

 
Zoom or Doom?

Yet another COVID semester has gone by. However, this time we sat at an awkward halfway point between online and in-person courses and activities—a strange place between skepticism and hope for the end of the pandemic.

 
Op-ed: UniMelb urged to optimise student experience of using Okta Verify

However, the roll-out of Okta Verify has been problematic. Failure to install the extra application prevents us from logging into Canvas to submit an assignment on the due date, along with stopping us from attending Zoom lessons on time.

 
Australia's Refugee Friends

Mostafa “Moz” Azimitabar, a Kurdish refugee from Iraq, sought asylum in Australia in 2013. Moz was initially transferred to Papua New Guinea, where he was held for six years. 

Moz was then brought to Australia for medical help under the Medevac Bill. Upon arrival, he was first held in the Mantra Hotel, before being transferred to the Park Hotel, which lies approximately just 100m from the University’s Parkville campus. He was finally released in January 2021, after 2,737 days...

 
Connection in the Time of COVID-19

COVID-19 has periodically forced both official University events and various student organisations’ events online, bringing unique challenges to event organisers and educators. Despite efforts to maintain normalcy, these changes have undoubtedly changed how students interact with each other, for better or for worse.

 
 
The Cheerful Pessimist

Aptly titled 'all the kids are depressed', Jeremy Zucker’s not-so-cheery 2018 hit seems to read our minds. The sentiments he sings about are ones that we all, as a generation, like to joke about, laugh about and, clearly, listen to music about, if my 2020 Spotify Wrapped was anything to go by.

 
Melbourne’s Last Video Rental Store

One of my fondest childhood memories is going to my local video store each school holidays to borrow videos, and then DVDs as technology advanced. Of course, the ‘local’ in ‘local video store’ changed every few years as the stores I treasured gradually closed. They were replaced with either supermarkets and gift stores or were simply left boxed up, only leaving a handful of operating video stores around Melbourne.

 
Overseas Student Update

Faced with the prospect of yet another semester abroad, overseas international students face immense challenges and uncertainty.

 
ADHD, Heartbreak, and a Stream of Consciousness (Barely)

content warning: mental health

1. The window outside my office opens into the branches of a big, strong tree. It’s autumn: the season of me staring outside the window and getting lost in its ochre. Sunlight filters through the leaves and falls onto my hand. Ugh, I want to be loved like that - like warmth and fall and softly filtered sunlight on brown skin.

 
Review: Endless Summer Afternoon

The Long, Long Afternoon by Inga Vesper is both a razor-sharp crime novel and an incisive portrait of race and gender in late 1950s American suburbia. Sunnylakes is an upper-class district on the outskirts of San Francisco, and visions of the town in heady summer suburbs envelop the reader–two-story houses with green lawns and white picket fences, white husbands with white-collar jobs and white housewives. In an environment where appearances are everything, the sudden disappearance of a housewif

 
On Ordinary Joys and Mental Health

This column has thus far spun around the soft idea of joy. Joy in a coffee cup, joy in a surfboard, joy in the little
things. Joy in stability, good food and the people we love.

 
a note on growing up

The polaroids are under my bed. They’re safe inside a shoe box I don’t remember buying. They lie awake with me. I wish I could fast forward through this part.

My room: dark with the curtains half-pulled, the window cracked open just enough for the echoes of the city and engines roaring from a distance to reach my ears. Now that I live alone, it helps me sleep. The noise is like a song playing in the background.

 
Pseudoscience Sells: Health is not only for rich white women

What is it with Gwyneth Paltrow and vaginas? From a candle that smells like her vagina, to vaginal jade eggs and vaginal steaming, she brings up taboo topics and masquerades as a lifestyle expert just for recommending eccentric products. While Paltrow is an actress and an entrepreneur, she’s definitely not a doctor or scientist. She raves about products for her own profit, similar to other wellness companies that prioritise sales over the health of their customers.

 
The Love Witch: Your Ultimate Fantasy

Anna Biller’s The Love Witch (2017) waxes poetic about the 1960s, sporting an aesthetic that pays tribute to the iconic low-budget horror films of the period. The aspect ratio is altered, the lens is rose-coloured and overwhelmingly pastel, and the voice of our female lead Elaine drips with honey like an incantation, in the style of the quintessential Hollywood actresses of her time.

 
Scenes from the Supermarket

Working in The Supermarket will dispel the myth that an hour contains 60 minutes. Like a casino, it is full of space, empty of time; no clocks, no sunlight, no centre. As a customer entering The Supermarket, you are to walk a predetermined path through the produce, deli, bakery, and meat departments before the dairy and grocery sections open into two alternate paths. The paths ultimately fold back into each other, producing a fake labyrinth that would even make Borges a little proud. But I don’t

 
The Craft: Ours is the Power

Released in 1996, The Craft came out at a pivotal time for the representation of teenage girls in Western media. Unfortunately, it’s not the kickass feminist film our rose-coloured nostalgia says it is.

 
Ordinary Joys: The Restaurant Institution

Pelligrini’s is an institution because it has been there for so long, unwavering amidst constant change. It is a time capsule to the past. The wood plank menu is the same one which appears in photos from the 1960s. Waiters have divided up tiramisus with sharp lines in this century, and the last.[...]

 
Cinemas Buckle Under the Weight of the Netflix Empire

Will Hollywood blockbuster-type films continue to use Netflix as their outlet, or will they return to their rightful spot on the big screen?

 
A Review of Women in Fiction and Men in Non-fiction

I didn’t plan to be reading a classic by Virginia Woolf and a biography of Alexander Hamilton at the same time.

 
Hannah Montana: The Icon, 15 Years Later

2006 is ingrained in my memory as a time of wanting to transition away from early childhood media. In my then- six-year-old mind, gone were the days of Hi-5, The Wiggles and The Hooley Dooleys; I was craving content that I saw as more mature and less condescending, even though I couldn’t possibly have articulated that at the time. It was in 2006 that I grew obsessively fascinated with Disney Channel; despite not having the holy grail that was Foxtel, I became a fanatical Saturday Disney viewer

 
to all my women, who are all of you

content warning: sexual assault, rape, child groomingI always dream of the same house.
I remember all 21 houses I’ve lived in, but I only dream of this one.
I dream that I’m standing on the porch, watching a tsunami crash in.[...]

 
It’s Complicated: The Oversimplification of ADHD

content warning: mental illness

It was past midnight, and I was packing for a school trip. The room looked like a tornado had hit. Clothes were strewn around the floor. Random toiletries were tossed carelessly about. Electronics sat in a tangled heap. And there, amidst all the chaos, was a small attempt at organisation—an abandoned, half-checked packing list.

 
Tinfoil Torso

my tinfoil torso will crumple, my paddle pop ribs, snapping, will pierce my limping heart then, if not dead, crippled, I will let out one last fluttery sigh from my cardiac-cavitied chest

 
Observations at a Ball

She let the pen fall from her hand and closed the book, wanting the unfinished story out of sight. The book was filled with unfinished stories. Characters stuck without endings.

 
The World of Dragons: The Stone Dragon

“La Gargouille was a great dragon who settled in Rouen. He ate livestock and farmers alike, and when he flew, his wings caused gusts of wind so strong all the crops were flattened. To shed his scaled hide, he rubbed his body against a mighty church. Stone crumbled and the spire collapsed. When he lay in the Seine to bathe, he blocked the flow of water as readily as any dam, and the river overflowed and flooded the city.”

 
The Foggy Shores of Our Bedrooms: Deep in the Waiting Space

Jerry: Has that happened to you, Flo? Have you opened a door or refocused your eyes to see the change in sunlight’s sort of... scratched the familiarity from something?

 
Major Character Death

They drink coffee under ruined lime trees. There is a goat on the roof of the car. Three faces. One for me, one for you, one for everyone else. She’s got a couple joints loose, she said. His forehead folds like a concertina.

 
Waiting for the train

As far back as I can remember, my favourite birthday was wrapped in a family road trip from Melbourne to Brisbane. Slow hours of gleeful exhales filled Mum and Dad’s silver Holden Commodore as the sky morphed from Wonga Pigeon-grey to Kingfisher-gold.

 
Mount Martha Breeze

It’s Mount Martha breeze, fresh cut grass
and salty seas.

 
The Piano

Sprawling from the floorboards, the monochrome floorboards, sounds of a dead girl singing.

 
2021 Edition Four Flash Fiction: Tragedies

Money tastes like sweat dripping from the armpit of a vogue model. Rarely does one get the opportunity to savour such a distinct flavour[...]

 
WHAT’S ALL THIS?

For Helen, host of Radio Fodder’s What’s All This? and Master of Music student at the University of Melbourne, Victoria’s lockdowns saw her deep dive into books, videos and films on a quest to answer life’s big questions.

 
Seashells

Cold against my cheek
they curl around my ears like vines
whispering sweetly

 
Lover Light

Some say love is complacent
a street lamp flickering
dark gutters, rainswept pavement
an old tree withering
My lover’s light is nascent
turning dark skies dazzling
the grass, a soft green crescent
the drizzle heralding spring

 
The Foggy Shores of Our Bedrooms: Projections

Do you remember those days, those long nights arm in arm?
They’d tied them behind us some slithering soaring in the cold moon chant, it was cold.
And tendrils would take us, remember? Curl sway to the back wall of a cave until the first
night you grabbed my arm,
as we pushed with our legs and flew and flew and flew and flew and flew.

 
on my way to uni

i ride down my street and wind threatens
to throw itself through me but i fight it
unlike autumn’s husked leaves,
which scutter under parked cars like scared cats.

 
Broken

Same questions over and over.
i go be a broken record for the system.
i was a broken record before, anyways.
Repeating the word “yes” Repeating the words “i love you” Repeating the word “sorry”

 
Dinnerguests

Supper wore a shawl of stars
mother, a stole with yellow pansies
The posture was superb
words gleamed with rightness
butterknives shone in their dishes like a well-loved swimming hole

 
Reunion Tour

22 December —Three o’clock, maybe, saw Henry today. Friend (?) from highschool. Thought: am so lonely, should try hang out w/ someone, assuage loneliness. Did not work—just spent day observing someone else’s loneliness, remained lonely myself.

 
Stifling

On Wednesday, we stayed indoors all day pretending we weren’t there. Shadows ran long down the curtained hallways, and we, goldfish yearning for a shaft of sunlight, climbed, twisted, contorted under windowpanes.

 
Face of Silver

The magnifying lens made his muddy eyes bulbous, beetle-like and curious. He was enraptured by the watch, glued to the metal with a practised eye, while his gnarled, liver-spotted hands were gentle with the tarnished brass.

 
Rude Vibes at Club Retro

We’re in—but also completely sober. And no matter how many suspiciously sticky shot glasses of tequila you throw back, an uninebriated first impression of Club Retro is something you never really shake.

 
Missing Noah

He perks up a little as he unzips the container. It will keep him distracted as we drive past the raspberry farm—not that he needs distracting. He’s such a compliant child. So easy to love.

 
The Lake House

It was a portent, perhaps, that she glimpsed through the window. The rain cast a muted grey pallor on the darkness, making the figure appear little more than an indistinct black shadow. Only his face gleamed white as he looked up at her.

 
OK ZOOMER!

Among Radio Fodder’s incredible 2021 line-up is the Gen Z-focused, Fitzpatrick award-nominated show OK Zoomer!. Created by long-time friends Joanna (Jo) Guelas and Jordan Bassilious, the vision for the show arose from their realisation that Gen Z lacked representation in the media.

 
Taylor’s Cardigan

In a big city of unmatched rivalry
I was picked from a sea of threads
My intricate weaves were pure ivory
I fitted perfectly to her frayed Keds

 
Homemade

The summer was hot
You stewed strawberries I grew
small wild mountaineers
carefully skimmed scum from the top
mixed with good cream, sugar and salt
and left to freeze overnight

 
The Great Famine

Crags of rock crumble like
cracked toffee under the sun.
Crops fester under peat and withered soil until there’s nothing left
but dried clumps of dirt.

 
Uncle Ditch’s Clockwork Ark

Uncle Ditch’s whole mad enterprise started with one dead cockatoo which he found out on the nature strip one bin night. The thing was snowy and perfect. Not a single feather out of place, wrinkly lids half-closed over beady eyes, beak ajar. Like it was stuck in the moment of going to sleep, Ditch said.

 
Clitoris I and II

my under-belly orchid
grows in greenhouse warmth— dirt-grubbing fingers
explore soil’s dampness

 
The Foggy Shores of Our Bedrooms: "How the f*ck did I end up in tiny mug-village?"

vanilla softens my lips. muscles curl around the handle, resist the weight, heat, then roll into a touchdown, tea drops spattering the wall of mugs.

 
Breaking My Mask

content warning: ableism, references to suicide
Until recently, my wardrobe was filled with dozens of different faces. Every single day, I would choose one carefully; some were so ostentatious that nobody dared draw near me, others so dull I slipped through crowds unnoticed.

 
Poemata

Red deerskinned vellum filled with cream and soft grey eyes—Minerva and her owl.
Sweet and gentle moon, turn your face to me, and gift me shining silver.

 
Boarding Pass

tear
my bond
stepping
in line
tear
my pass
boarding in ten
nine
eight
seven
six months
away

 
2021 Edition Two Flash Fiction: Horrror Stories

You feel your breath quicken and the fear leave your body as your skin tingles. There’s nowhere to go now, no words coming out of your mouth. The heat spreads over your chest like a sweltering rash.

 
The Foggy Shores of Our Bedrooms: My Coat-Rack is Called Jerry

the stranger stands guard, whistling a sea shanty. a stray blowfly perches at the centre of his nose,
spreading chimes like cracked glass.

 
Hunger

Run the knife along the bone to release the
Wild-caught
Soft peaks
As thinly as possible

 
Stop the Liberals, Join the Campaign against the Robert Menzies Institute!

The federal government, led by the Liberal Party, is bludgeoning universities. Since the onset of the pandemic, they have excluded thousands of university workers from JobKeeper, ramped up fees for select undergraduate courses while slashing funding for tertiary education, and, in the latest federal budget, abandoned universities. They have left staff and students out to […]

 
VCA students lodging complaint to Victorian Ombudsman in fight for fee relief

Students of the Victorian College of the Arts (VCA) are planning to lodge a formal complaint to the Victorian Ombudsman about the University of Melbourne’s alleged failure to provide the quality of education promised to them. Students have turned to the Ombudsman for help with their fee relief campaign as they believe they have been […]

 
Fangirls and Fantasies: Why we Love to Hate Twilight

It’s 2008: the era of galaxy-print leggings and Club Penguin. The radio incessantly plays Katy Perry’s ‘I Kissed A Girl’ and ‘Viva La Vida’ by Coldplay. Lounging on your bed after school, you flip through the glossy pages of Seventeen magazine, fanatically poring over the pale, golden-eyed Robert Pattinson and the bashful Kristen Stewart.  Adapted […]

 
Petition Calls for Review of "Transphobic" Melbourne University Subject

(content warning: transphobia) A petition has been launched by the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Queer Political Action Collective calling for the review of the second year Winter Philosophy subject Feminism, over concerns that the subject includes transphobic rhetoric.   The petition outlines concerns over the subject’s content, as well as the conduct of teaching […]

 
UniMelb not offering rebates for students stuck overseas—but why?

“Why are we paying so much to attend Zoom University?” Ah, the common line we hear these days. COVID-19 has definitely changed university life drastically, particularly for international students stuck overseas. Many feel that the quality of education has been severely compromised, especially with the lack of face-to-face interaction. Having to pay hefty tuition fees […]

 
UniMelb Posts Surplus During COVID-19–At Whose Cost?

The University of Melbourne posted a surplus of $8 million during the COVID-19 pandemic, having cut more than 750 jobs and dozens of University subjects, alongside $360 million in spending. Cost-cutting policies, however, have come at the expense of the student experience and well-being of University staff. University Vice-Chancellor Duncan Maskell said that the small […]

 
UMSU-in-brief: What’s new with your student union?

While you’ve been smashing back-to-back coffees, or spending an ungodly amount of time in the Baillieu this semester, a LOT has been happening at the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU). But, don’t fret! Farrago is here to catch you up on everything you’ve missed… 1. General Secretary Resigns UMSU’s General Secretary resigned in late-April, […]

 
Review: No Document— a novel or a puzzle?

No Document is a non-fiction essay by Anwen Crawford about power in the face of human suffering. Through her own experiences of losing a close friend, interwoven with political disseminations, Anwen Crawford attempts to unravel her pain and explore loss in the form of artworks, film and protest.  From the first page, Crawford shocks and […]

 
The Performance of University and Cyber Utopia

content warning: mentions of sexual violence, no specific detail Last year got me thinking a lot about the public sphere of the University. When we went into the first lockdown, I was the Disabilities Officer at the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU). In the last week before we all studied from home, I focused […]

 
Review: No Hat No Play! The Cabaret

Picture this, you’re in Year 6. You’re at the top of the primary school food chain. You’re trying your best to rock that polyester-cotton primary colour and brown uniform for your final year until you hit… duh duh duhhhh… teenagerhood. No Hat No Play! The Cabaret was all nostalgia, bringing together all the types of […]

 
Budget Breakdown — What’s in it for you?

On 11 May 2021, the federal government released its 2021–2022 budget. The previous year has been tumultuous, and this budget reflects that—the Liberal party has essentially been forced by circumstance to abandon their small-government ideology with big-spending measures, paving the way to national debt of up to $1 trillion.  Some media commentators have called this […]

 
Why should you join the School Strike 4 Climate?

On 21 May, students across the country will go on strike to demand action on climate change. Organised by the School Strike 4 Climate, the rally calls for the Morrison government #FundOurFutureNotGas. Its demands include: Resource of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander-led solutions that guarantee land rights and care for country Fund the creation of […]

 
Review: On the Origin of Faeces

Science comedian Alanta Colley’s “On the Origin of Faeces” is a joyous reflection on her relationship with poo, a wonderful evening of refreshing but somehow never crass comedy.  A handbell signalled the start of the show as we took our seats in the cosy theatre of  Melbourne’s famous Butterfly Club. As this was my first […]

 
Review: Car Crash – Lech Blaine

Publisher: Black Inc (an imprint of Schwartz Book Pty Ltd) Year: 2021 Page number: 251 content warning: death, mental illness “Recovering from depression was like trying to unlearn a second language.”  I have always been particularly reluctant to read memoirs on trauma, mindful they could blend into each other and run the risk of being […]

 
Review: Tsarina –a dazzling glimpse into the mad world of Russian autocracy

Year: 2021 Publisher: Bloomsbury Price: $29.99   As described by the acclaimed historical fiction writer Daisy Goodwin, the 500-page mammoth of a book Tsarina “makes Game of Thrones look like a nursery rhyme,” as it follows the thrilling tale of Catherine the First of Russia. Full disclosure, I haven’t read Game of Thrones, but I […]

 
Review: Intimacy and Solitude: Finding New Closeness and Self-Trust in a Distanced World

Publisher: Allen & Unwin (first published by William Heinemann Australia 1991) Year: 2021 Page number: 340 How does one navigate the mess of psychosocial issues from unresolved childhood trauma and ghosts of past relationships? With the recent milestone of acquiring my first boyfriend (weird flex but ok), a zealous determination to become ~*The Best Girlfriend […]

 
Parasite: Review

It’s incredible to think how much joy and destruction one small family can inflict. Bong Joon-ho’s dark comedy thriller Parasite (2020) is held together by a strong cast and slick directing, and the take-home message is clear: bonding with your family causes death. I feel I reserve the right to criticise this cynical view of […]

 
The World of Dragons: The Gnawing Tree Dragon

“Níðhöggr lived beneath the great tree Yggdrasil. He gnawed on its roots, growing bigger each day. The roots were so tangled that they twisted around his body; the more he ate, the bigger he became; the bigger he became, the more the roots curled around him, trapping him where he lay. And from where he […]

 
Concerns Arise as COVID-19 Supplement End-Date Looms

As financial supplements introduced by the government during COVID-19 are set to end on 28 March, there is rising discussion over the potentially adverse impacts that this may have on tertiary students across Australia.  Whilst some students have been able to access such financial support, others have been excluded from receiving government welfare payments throughout […]

 
UniWireless COVID Data Sharing Raises Privacy Concerns

This year, when students at the University of Melbourne attempt to log into the University’s Wi-Fi, many may need to repeatedly reconnect to the network. This is because several changes have been made to the terms of use for UniWireless in light of COVID-19. According to the University’s website, “provisions” will be made for the […]

 
REVIEW: Lewis Capaldi’s New Album 'Lullabies for people of neglect'

Capaldi is known for using vague, at times confusing metaphors to describe the human experience in his music. Now, in 2021, the 24-year-old is back with more melodrama than your nana’s Mills & Boon novels. To talk about this fresh and unique take on lullabies, we sat down with Capaldi in his parents’ plush studio […]

 
on worth

I measure my worth in the number of meetings I attend, in the number of responses I get in my 9am sociology class, and in how many people have liked my latest Instagram poem. When I feel my back start to crack, I tell myself —“one more reading and you can rest”, and then one […]

 
Still a Love Story, Only More

In the backseat of my family’s old sedan, the air was warm in spite of the blasting air conditioning. I leaned against the window, scanning the houses we passed by. The weekend was so close that I could’ve grasped it between my fingers. At eight years old, a lot of things looked brand new. At […]

 
To Listen to the Mockingbirds: Why celebrating literature by PoC authors is the key to countering racism in the literary canon

content warning: Discussions of racism and colonialism, mentions of police violence. Halfway through my final year of high school, I made an executive decision: from then on, I would exclusively read books written by people of colour. I also announced this decision to anybody who would listen. Many implied that I was being “extreme”. In […]

 
Why I’m Breaking Up with Goodreads

In April 2010, I opened a Goodreads account. On January 24 2021, I deleted it. Like many readers, I used Goodreads to track the past, present, and future of my reading. I also created custom shelves to ensure books written by authors from diverse backgrounds did not disappear into the abyss that was my “to […]

 
Blue Hope in Blue Ray

The transitional and temporary nature of the art world  Neoliberal capitalistic institutions of contemporary art and higher education express conflict between the “national” and “transnational” as well as what is “temporary” and “permanent”. From special exhibitions to performances, any form of ephemeral art makes its “temporary” nature more precious and distinguished. Along with globalisation, an […]

 
Art Musing: Curatorial Intentions

Sophie Gerhard always thought that she would be an artist. But six months into a Fine Arts degree, she realised that it wasn’t for her. “I didn’t like the criticism,” she told me. “I probably just wasn’t very good.” So, she left her degree to study Art History at the University of Leeds. Here, she […]

 
Your Guide to Clubs and Societies

“Wow, there are so many interesting clubs this semester! Which one do I choose?” Decisions, decisions! Well, we would say to choose all of them, but sadly that’s impossible. Or is it? Nope, sorry, it definitely is.  Well, not to worry, Farrago’s got you covered! Here’s a quick guide to some of the best clubs […]

 
One Year After Border Closure: International Students Campaign for Justice

The federal government and the University of Melbourne have given little hope to international students stuck overseas despite a successful online campaign calling for action. On March 3, #justiceon5march was trending on Twitter in India and Pakistan, two major international student markets for Australia. The hashtag storm was started by Voice of International Students Australia […]

 
200th Anniversary of Greek Independence Day

The Greek Independence Day, which falls on the 25th of March 2021, marks the 200th anniversary of the Greek revolution. Greece was under the rule of the Ottoman Empire and Turkish occupation for 400 years, and in March 1821, began their revolt. This War of Independence established Greece as an independent state. An underground secret […]

 
The Invisibles: Reflections of an Overseas International Student

As semester one 2021 began, campus grounds awoke from almost a year of dormancy, filling up again with sights, sounds and students. Social media timelines flooded with summery snapshots of students on South Lawn, or hugging the University’s teddy bear mascot. Some official University accounts even started pushing the #RediscoverUnimelb hashtag, urging students to […]

 
OPINION | ‘Digging, a deep dark trench’: students left unsupported in wake of COVID-19

There is a truism, first circulated in public space by artist Jenny Holzer in 1977, “abuse of power comes as no surprise”. This is the exact reason that the University of Melbourne has an independent student advocacy service—to provide students with a source of procedural fairness when they face the inequalities that often plague this […]

 
I’ve Been Thinking About Nothing but Supergiant’s Hades for Weeks

The world is garbage. Let’s talk about video games. Specifically, one video game that has invaded my life and my brain, consuming every waking moment of conscious thought since it was released on Nintendo Switch in September 2020. I’m talking about Hades, Supergiant Games’ latest release and the new love of my life (until the […]

 
Review: Kit Richard’s Scandal: The Musical! (Melbourne International Comedy Festival, 28th March 2021)

On the way to Carlton’s magnificent and massive Trades Hall, I decided to follow Google Maps. A dumb move considering it’s on the corner of Lygon and Victoria and therefore not difficult to find for someone who’s lived close to the city for nearly three years now. But somehow I do get lost trying to […]

 
“Stop lying to staff and students”: Students and staff rally against job and course cuts

Students and staff gathered outside the Raymond Priestley Building on 25 March to demand an end to the University’s recent staff and course cuts, and call for an improved, more equitable and accessible education. The rally was organised by University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Education Public Officers Hannah Krasovec and Tejas Gandhi, in collaboration […]

 
Goodbye, Dragon Inn (Tsai Ming-Liang, 2003)

Flaneur culture emerged during the nascent era of industrialism to denote citizens who could walk the city with a sense of leisure—a recurring, if unintentional trope in Tsai Ming-Liang’s 2003 film Goodbye, Dragon Inn. Cinemas are fragile and delicate spaces, as highlighted throughout Tsai’s film, which portrays a single-theatre cinema in Taipei before its imminent […]

 
“Zero Tolerance for Sexual Assault”: Students and Staff Demand Condemnation of Professor Alan Lopez

content warning: sexual harassment and sexual assault, in no explicit detail Despite wet and windy conditions, protesters gathered outside MacFarland Court this afternoon to call for the University to publicly condemn Professor Alan Lopez. Earlier this month, an article published by The Age revealed that the University had allowed Professor Lopez to retain his roles […]

 
An Artist’s Struggle

And on a hot, 33-degree day She sat in her room And wrote half a play. It wasn’t very good But it wasn’t very bad Yet she knew in her heart that really she had let herself down, left it too last minute. There were barely any scenes or characters in it. “But it’s experimental! […]

 
Can the Subaltern Internet?

 The Fundamental Right to the Internet Cw: mentions of refugees in detention and police violence. Towards the end of a catastrophic 2020 and start of 2021, I’ve built some beautiful and unexpected friendships. If you stop by Lincoln Square at 6 pm on weekdays, you will see a fairly large group of people (including me) […]

 
THE WITCHES: A New Generation (Moonlight Cinema)

cw: ableism There’s nothing quite like discovering Roald Dahl’s world as a child—it’s full of wonder, imagination and the perfect dose of dark comedy. The Witches marks the latest adaptation of a Dahl classic. (We won’t discuss Tim Burton’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, we pretend that doesn’t exist.) The Witches (and Matilda) have always […]

 
Review: Melbourne Symphony Orchestra’s Chinese New Year Concert [Rescheduled, 13th of March 2021]

It was a beautiful Melbourne evening (read: raining and cold), when a friend and I, armed with a picnic blanket and my slightly broken umbrella, squelched along the grass to the always iconic Sidney Myer Music Bowl.  Walking amongst the little metal scaffolds, we looked for our seats but were unable to find them. We […]

 
Students Rally in Support of Myanmar Protests

[content warning: violence]   Students rallied in front of the State Library last Sunday in support of ongoing protests in Myanmar against the country’s recent military coup. Speakers at the rally included students, as well as Peter Khalil MP and Christopher Lamb, who is president of the Australian Myanmar Institute. The event was organised by […]

 
Review: Back to the Future (*and definitive rankings of random assorted free stuff that the Moonlight Cinema gave us for no reason)

PART ONE Back to the Future is the most enjoyably predictable and watchable movie I’ve seen in a while. Reviewer Adam Smith put it perfectly all the way back at the film’s release in 1985, writing in The Empire: “to put it bluntly; if you don’t like Back to the Future, it’s difficult to believe […]

 
Cinematica: Love

The most baffling thing about Cinematica: Love was its title. Ostensibly setting out to “explore the notion of love in all its glorious forms”, the suite of four short films opened with a hallucinatory collage of dismembered statues, swallowed up in pools of inky black, shortly followed by stills of a gynaecological endoscopy. The event […]

 
Being John Malkovich: Review

What makes a consciousness independent? Evidently, not much according to Spike Jonze’s 1999 ‘classic’: Being John Malkovich. Craig Schwartz (John Cusack) is an unsuccessful puppeteer who discovers a portal into the head of John Malkovich (John Malkovich). Schwartz mostly plods along as an asinine protagonist, only to be challenged with fanciful moral dilemmas and philosophical […]

 
Review: Minari

I watched Minari with a Korean friend, a first-generation immigrant like myself, and when we left the cinema, we agreed upon two things:  We would love for our parents to watch this movie. (Next to us, so we can closely discern their reactions).  We would completely understand if they turned it off at the thirty-minute […]

 
Review: musings on lesbianism & Last Night at the Telegraph Club by Malinda Lo

content warning: internalised homophobia, d slur mention “Perhaps one day she’d get used to the way it made her feel: dislocated and dazed, never quite certain if the other half of her would stay offstage as directed. But tonight she felt as if she were constantly on the edge of saying or doing something wrong, […]

 
Adelaide Student Attack Points to Widespread Exploitation of International Students

(content warning: violence)   A viral video showing two international students assaulted in Adelaide has sparked a greater need for a conversation on wage theft.    The women were allegedly attacked after confronting their employer about being underpaid.   The video depicted an argument between a woman and a man before another man stepped into […]

 
Review: Outer Wilds

As I worked on my Engineering degree, I didn’t normally make time to play games. I mean, why bother anyway? I’d grown so cynical after some disappointing games in 2020, and wondered if maybe I’d finally “outgrown” video games. They were fun for a while, but after 2 years of university, I had to prioritise […]

 
Review: The Gang of Five (La Mama)

Just two days before Melbourne’s snap five-day lockdown, I had the privilege of attending a live play at La Mama Theatre in the heart of Abbotsford. Noel Fidge’s The Gang of Five is a two-act musical and is delivered with great energy by the five members of the cast.  Set in a wealthy suburb of […]

 
Review: Wild Mountain Thyme (Moonlight Cinema)

“Now why don’t you ever get rid of the two gates?” “Because that’s the way it is. That’s the way it was, and that’s the way it will be”. For a Hibernophile, John Shanley’s Wild Mountain Thyme (2020) played expertly into my dreams of the sincerity and lived myth of the Irish people. Gorgeous shots […]

 
sugar gliders

when we love, we will be like sugar gliders. sucking eucalyptus sap and honeydew, as though they were the only two things in the world close to our love. you will kiss my pink nose and tell me how soft this feeling is, how you would look for it everywhere between bottlebrush and banksia. when […]

 
Review: The Book of Angst by Gwendoline Smith

Gwendoline Smith: The Book of Angst Allen & Unwin, 2021 ISBN: 9781988547695, $22.99, 312pp   content warning: discussions of mental illness  When faced with this book (subtitled “Understand & Manage Anxiety”), I braced myself to read a drawn-out version of those pamphlets in the waiting room at the doctor’s office. I don’t have a diagnosed […]

 
A WHALE of a good time ha ha ha he he (Review: Jofus and the Whale at La Mama)

La Mama is back, baby! The opening night of Jofus and the Whale was the first return to theatre after a long line of bad luck for La Mama Theatre in Carlton, first burning down in November 2019 and—of course—being closed for the lockdown. The evening started with a lot of excited hustle and bustle, […]

 
Little Moth

little moth, you can’t escape this night and my explanation of what this was or is would puzzle you even more, because I don’t know for sure what this is or was for you, but I can tell you what I saw:   I had brushed my teeth and put some night cream on I […]

 
Drowned Icarus

The light that drowned Icarus, when his freedom he found, was the sweetest ignorance that sent him to ground   I was the quiet water the dark and silent receiver I was the waves on fire when his body was found   Damp wax and melted feathers Gold like a sun half-downed Heat-struck he bore […]

 
hospital bed

content warning: pain, illness   more food, more oranges, lemons, more of the fruit with seeds with their sly murmurs of renewal   renew me with this bed renew me with these blankets, these words, these little styrofoam cups with their little liquids.   pain       the offer pain that writhes in its […]

 
Race Against the Odds: The Not-so-distant Colonial Past and “Post-Racism”

content warning: racism The Not-so-distant Colonial Past and “Post-racism” In recent years, the idea of “post-racism” has become increasingly popular, with people often stating that “racism no longer exists”, particularly in Western countries, including Australia. I have personally experienced this. One experience I had was when I was in a college tutorial telling my peers […]

 
Good Mourning

content warning: death   Standing by her bed Hands clammy, clutching at my dress. Searching for him In the folds of fabric A noise escapes my mouth, an involuntary laugh “I’m going to make rice” I announce. To no one in particular   Down the hall Into the kitchen The bag of rice is heavy […]

 
The Park-Maker

The sun, first blinding, gets gentler with time, as running slows to walking, then to sitting, and to talking. After it sets, softly, we keep our legs crossed tight— tucked in like a bedsheet— and welcoming the night.   Matchstick benches dress our set with garden-gravel rocks: the park that surrounds us is carried in […]

 
When You Return to Campus…

It’s been a while since many of us have been on campus. For some of you, you’ve only caught a glimpse or two of university life. Farrago thought a small guide to returning to campus could be useful (there are some things you pick up after six years of tertiary education!) A Cold One Queensberry […]

 
2021 Edition One Flash Fiction: Love Stories

Even pinned to the altar, my sacrificial dagger clutched over your chest, you are fearless—after all, one of us was always destined to die. From girlhood, we let the priests dress us in a pantomime of our future; blood-red robes and bone-white face paint.

 
How to Write an H1 Arts Essay

The Elusive H1. H1, not to be confused with H1N1—the viral disease from 2009 better known as the Swine Flu, is the top mark you can receive at the University of Melbourne. However, while H1N1 is acquired by inhaling the glycoproteins haemagglutinin and neuraminidase through droplets in the air, H1s are awarded for achieving over […]

 
Man explaining Fight Club to you reminds you (for the fifth time) he does INDEED go to VCA!

“Look, I’d say it’s deeper than a critique of capitalism, which admittedly is a pretty mainstream understanding of the film—see, it’s a criticism of our understanding of self and the superficial nature of the relationships that we foster due to our inherent egotism… Anyway, do you like The Cure? Hey, are you awake?”—Oliver Russel, 23, […]

 
Social Media: The Age of Distraction

“TV’s ‘real’ agenda is to be ‘liked,’ because if you like what you’re seeing, you’ll stay  tuned. TV is completely unabashed about this; it’s its sole raison.”  The American author and cultural critic David Foster Wallace uttered these words in the  early ’90s. Wallace was a staunch critic of the materialism of Western culture. He […]

 
Art Musing: Monumental Questions

content warning: colonialism, racism, civil war  Looking beyond the COVID-19 pandemic, the year 2020 may well be known as the year of the monument. In previous years, there had been little international debate surrounding the continued presence of colonial monuments—a representation of a bygone and problematic history.  Indeed, in 1927, writer Robert Musil famously proclaimed […]

 
Statue of a Woman, or Womankind?

The unveiling of 18th century writer and philosopher Mary Wollstonecraft’s statue in north London should have been a moment of triumph after years of campaigning by Mary on the Green, a movement dedicated to celebrating Wollstonecraft’s work. However, the statue by controversial artist Maggi Hambling presented the same tired depictions and themes that have plagued […]

 
Slogans and Nonsense

“What, announce a policy without a slogan? Are you mad?”- overheard from Scott Morrison’s office, presumably. There’s a problem with slogans in politics: when political slogans age into accepted wisdom and the taint of ideology is forgotten, political partialities can be passed off as facts of nature. Of course, arguments are much easier when your […]

 
Jennifer’s Body: Hell is a Teenage Girl

content warning: sexism, graphic violence and gore. Spoilers for Jennifer’s Body. Horror has always been a tool to explore girlhood and female virtue. But what Jennifer’s Body (2009) does differently—and so well—is show a teenage girl in her ultimate form: brutal, cringey, flawed, and most importantly, still a child. The script narrates the story of […]

 
Ordinary Joys

Ever since my brother, my sister and I were small, my dad had a vision for us to become surfers. He had a shimmering dream of his three kids gliding down the face of waves out at sea, perfectly executing 360 degree turns with the grace and power of Kelly Slater. He has tried hard […]

 
Perfectionism

Ten years ago, when I was a little pre-teen, writing was easy. Words flew on paper with the grace of a sailor navigating the ocean by the North Star. I wrote stories about princesses and their knights, blog pieces advocating for the rights of the LGBTQ+ community in India and articles about the forgotten mysteries […]

 
Review: Feeding the Human Narrative of Hope: Top Dog Film Festival (Moonlight Cinema)

It’s common knowledge that spending time around dogs has long-term effects on raising serotonin and dopamine levels. This is why, when catching myself slipping into a relentless cycle of unhealthy coping mechanisms during the fourth month of lockdown, I decided to better use my one hour of state-mandated outdoor time to trudge over to Edinburgh […]

 
Review: Knives Out (Moonlight Cinema)

Knives Out (2019) is a modern take on the wonderfully witty whodunnit featuring a star-studded cast and more clues and red herrings than you could shake a stick at (or in this case, a knife). Rian Johnson (Star Wars: The Last Jedi, Looper) manages to keep viewers so focused on what the left hand is […]

 
Review: Macbeth—Shakespeare Under the Stars

As the sun set behind the trees at The Royal Botanic Gardens, the proverbial curtains opened on The Australian Shakespeare Company’s latest production, Macbeth. The production is part of their Shakespeare Under the Stars series, which currently also features A Midsummer Night’s Dream. Helmed by director Glenn Elston OAM and Nathaniel Dean in the titular […]

 
Review: The Perfunctory Feminism of Magic Mike XXL (Moonlight Cinema)

As a friend and I wandered along the periphery of the Royal Botanical Gardens towards the entrance to Moonlight Cinema, we nodded knowingly at the crowd, clad in fuchsia dressing gowns and clasping bottles of pinot noir. The name “Channing Tatum” echoed through the ascending crowd like an omen. Debauched giggles rustled through the twilit […]

 
Review: The Dry (Moonlight Cinema)

On the silver screen, Jane Harper’s 2016 best-selling debut novel The Dry translates into an Aussiewood thriller with a Picnic at Hanging Rock brand of outback malaise. Australian federal police agent Aaron Falk (Eric Bana) reluctantly returns to his hometown of Kiewarra for three funerals: that of his childhood best friend, his wife, and their […]

 
Review: #ENTRYLEVELBOSS by Alexa Shoen

Alexa Shoen: #ENTRYLEVELBOSS Scribe Publications, 2021 ISBN: 9781925849424, $24.99, 256pp   This particular book comes to me at a really interesting time in my career track, namely that I don’t have one. Given that I’m slated to graduate mid-year, this complete lack of long-term gainful employment has been the cause of mild concern for my […]

 
Review: Wild Things 

I really wanted to love this film.  Wild Things tells the stories of several environmental campaigns happening in so-called Australia right now, as well as providing some overview of the history of environmental activism across the country. The film follows several campaigners for a year or so, tracking their actions and interviewing them about their […]

 
Review: how to be a good girl by Jamie Hood

how to be a good girl is a miscellany. Never just quite poetry, never entirely essay. It’s a beautiful thing. “My go-to for invoking the brilliant trans-eye view of the agonies and pleasures of heterosexuality.” – Torrey Peters on how to be a good girl. Though no one seems to know exactly what it is. […]

 
Thousands gather in Naarm to mark Invasion Day
Image credits: Finley Tobin

Content warning: racism, First Nations deaths in custody.  Thousands of protestors gathered in Naarm (Melbourne) on Tuesday to call for a Treaty and to abolish so-called ‘Australia Day’. The rally was mirrored in other capital cities, with tens of thousands showing up in Canberra, Perth, Brisbane, Darwin, Adelaide and Hobart, as well as dozens of […]

 
Review: The Love of Acceptance in 10 Things I Hate About You (Moonlight Cinema)
image credit: Marija Mrvosevic

Firsts are always memorable. In 1999, Gil Junger, Karen McCullah and Kirsten Smith brought us a rare gem in the teen rom-com corner of Hollywood, the first modern cinematic adaptation of Shakespeare’s Taming of the Shrew, set in a high school of all places. 10 Things I Hate About You, now a cult classic, features […]

 
“This is Not the End”: Advocates, Detainees Urge Students to Join Fight as More Refugees Released
Image credits: Jennifer Chance

After multiple years in offshore and local detention, an additional 20 refugees detained in Park Hotel on Swanston Street were released on bridging visas on 21 January, according to the ABC. They join the 45 refugees and asylum seekers who were released the day prior from both Park Hotel and the Melbourne Immigration Transit Accommodation […]

 
Review: The Bird Way: A New Look at How Birds Talk, Work, Play, Parent, and Think

Jennifer Ackerman: The Bird Way: A New Look at How Birds Talk, Work, Play, Parent, and Think Scribe Publications, 2020 ISBN (13):9781925713763, pp. 368, $35.00 As an amateur birder who dislikes reading highly technical books about birds, The Bird Way seemed like an entertaining way to learn more about the birds I see every day […]

 
Review: The Animals in That Country

  Laura Jean McKay: The Animals in That Country Scribe Publications, 2020. ISBN, 9781925849530, $29.99, pp. 288.   “Dingoes wear their fur like feelings: all sleek and shiny when they’re relaxed, a thick bank of heckle when they get wound up. Sue is wound up” (7). Laura Jean McKay’s The Animals in That Country is […]

 
Review: The Left-Handed Booksellers of London

Garth Nix’s The Left-Handed Booksellers of London follows art student Susan Arkshaw on a quest to London to search for a man she’s never met: her father. Before she can unearth any answers about her paternal ancestry though, a prick of a silver hatpin turns her first suspect into dust.

 
University of Melbourne agrees to reimburse underpaid staff

After two years of unionised campaigning, the University of Melbourne has agreed to reimburse underpaid staff before Christmas. The National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) has claimed responsibility for this win, estimating that the University will need $6 million to repay staff. However, with more than 2000 staff members affected, the union has also stated that […]

 
Review: Uncook Yourself

In the words of Nat’s What I Reckon, Australia’s latest and most surprising celebrity chef, there’s something about cooking and sharing a feast with friends that makes you feel like a “f*cking champion”.   

 
ICYMI: COVID-19 Subject Scores to Still Appear on Student Transcripts

Students studying during the COVID-19 pandemic have been drawn into a false sense of security by the University’s revised Weighted Average Mark (WAM) calculation system.  Introduced earlier this year, the system acknowledges that students may be academically disadvantaged during the pandemic, but still makes them bear individual subject scores on their transcript. The current WAM […]

 
Secret Spaces: The University of Melbourne Food Co-Op

Union House is arguably the beating heart of campus. And while many of its spaces are well-known, there is one quiet spot nestled by the first-floor elevators that is home to an unexpected and impressive history. ‘The Food Co-op,’ a sign reads. ‘Since 1976. Under no management.’ A co-operative is defined as a ‘democratic organization […]

 
Studying through COVID: how the pandemic has impacted the university experience

There’s no denying that this academic year has been unlike any that University of Melbourne students have faced before. With the end of the year approaching, Farrago is rounding up how the year has impacted students and what lies ahead in 2021. The most notable change for students this year was a rapid transition to […]

 
UMSU Election Overview

After a successful online campaign, Community for UMSU has won a majority of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) offices for 2021. Winning every office except for President and Education Public Affairs, the ticket appears to have survived a difficult postal election. Stand Up!, a long-standing ticket that dominated office bearer positions this year, […]

 
Review: Sunshine: The diary of a lap dancer

Samantha C. Ross’ Sunshine: The diary of a lap dancer follows the titular stripper as she flits from Gentleman’s Clubs around Australia and beyond with a sharp wit, affinity for alcohol and delightful pettiness.

 
Celebrating Schmilco Four Years Late Because No-One Else Has or Probably Ever Will

In 1994, Jay Farrar left the alt-country band Uncle Tupelo. Its remaining members, led by their frontman Jeff Tweedy, formed Wilco. In the early 2000s, during Wilco’s critical renaissance, it seemed pretty likely that Jeff Tweedy would die.

 
Rebecca Clarke, Margaret Bonds & Sally Whitwell

Welcome to Canon in She, a column that celebrates the beautiful music of composers who identify as women. In this edition, we have a violist who wrote for a variety of instruments, a resourceful African American pianist who wrote a Christmas cantata, and an Australian pianist who writes lyrical and quirky music for various instruments.

 
Continuing the Fight

Content Warning: Sexual Assault and Harassment. In conversation with Women’s Officers, Aria Sunga and Naomi Smith, and Sexual Harm and Response Coordinator, Patrick Tidmarsh on sexual assault and harassment on campus. In 2020, University of Melbourne Student Union Women’s Office Bearers, Aria Sunga and Naomi Smith continued their campaign against sexual harassment on campus. They […]

 
Review: A Delicate Fire

A Delicate Fire is an operatic movie filmed under COVID-safe conditions by Pinchgut Opera, using the music of 17th century Venetian composer Barbara Strozzi. It is an exploration of romantic love, using Strozzi’s music as inspiration.

 
Fame: It’s A Numbers Game — A Review of Spree (2020)

Spree’s central thesis is that we are all desperate to be seen. Whether by our parents, friends or random strangers on the internet, we want the validation and acknowledgment of others. This incredibly human trait pivots towards the horrific in Spree, a splattery thriller for the digital age, directed by Eugene Kotlyarenko and executive-produced by Drake.

 
The Rot at the Heart of Higher Education

When my mum went to university, it was free. The golden years, from when Gough Whitlam abolished university fees in 1974, to her second year, were a time when anyone and everyone with interest could get their education. This was also when most politicians pushing through the funding cuts went to university.

 
Hygge.

What makes you happy? Falling asleep with rain falling softly on the roof? Having a joyful dog race towards you, treating you like their best friend? Baking cookies, just to eat the dough? Curling up with a book and a homemade blanket? Candles? Tea? For me, it’s all these things. These are things which provide comfort, warmth and security. Cosiness.

 
Noise pollution: reducing the environmental impact of live music

In 2019, there were over 200 concert tours worldwide, from Charli XCX’s Charli Live Tour to Billie Eilish’s When We All Fall Asleep World Tour. Each of these tours represents dozens of crew members, trucks, buses, catering spreads and hotel rooms, across every continent, playing to millions of fans. The environmental impact of concert touring is huge. 

 
The Problem with Marginalised Narratives

Despite its rampant discussion, to this date diversity remains ill-defined. “People of colour” for one, is an umbrella term that groups individuals into potentially restrictive spaces while aggrandising their white counterparts even further. To generalise various ethnic groups into a single voice and pit them against whiteness is a problematic practice which diminishes their truth. […]

 
Volunteering From Home

It wasn’t until recently that studies illustrated that cockatoos are typically left-footed. Digivol, an online volunteer platform, explains this success by pointing to researchers not out in the fields, peering up into gumtrees, but ‘citizen scientists’ working from home. Volunteers analysed site photos to assist the digitisation of archives, and in the process identified which foot these Australian birds were using. Thus, the surprising discovery!

 
WINNERS Never Can Quit

Retired athletes are susceptible to psychological distress after stopping sports. If we spoke more openly about what happens after people quit, the experience wouldn’t be so isolating.
We all hear about the everyday struggles of the elite athlete. Marketing material, films and television shows glorify the act of “getting up after you fall” and “continuing on” no matter the cost.

 
Entitled to Power: See What You Made Me Do

urn on your phone, open Facebook and scroll through your feed. If it’s anything like mine, it should be awash with COVID-19 statistics, the US election, and friends asking how 2020 could get any worse. Switch over to The Age and it’s the same.

 
The Curtain Calls for You to Think: #BoysDanceToo

Pre-COVID-19-lockdown-reality, I meant to go see Billy Elliot the Musical, based on the 2005 film of the same name. Not-so-surprisingly, I didn’t end up going. Instead I read about it, watched the movie, I even signed up for free at-home ballet lessons – this one wasn’t really followed through – and I got to reflect on the subtleties of the plot and the songs in the musical’s soundtrack.

 
The OTHER Theory of Evolution: How to Make Mice from Scratch

These recipes are paraphrased from 17th-century Dutch chemist Jan Baptist van Helmont. Luckily, he is remembered for discovering gases such as carbon dioxide, not for conjuring mice and scorpions.

 
Edition Four 2020 Editorial

Bethany You may notice I am holding a printer in the photo below. Not an advertisement for Canon but a poke at the UMSU for being silly sausages. They have spent more time harassing Farrago than representing the students they have made so many promises to. I had to stand up in council and call […]

 
POLS2020: Politics of Zoom Classes

POLS2020 Politics of Zoom Classes Subject Guide Teaching Staff Subject Coordinator:    Dr Boryn N. Schléeze Dr Boryn N. Schléeze is a Senior Lecturer in Politics in the School of Social, Political, Metaphorical and Bureaucratic Sciences. Dr Schléeze is a political scientist whose recent publications are on the relationship between digital technologies and student learning. He […]

 
7 Eleven Wine in a Hiroshima Studio Apartment

I’m told that love is big, unconditional romantic gestures. It’s holding a stereo blasting “our” song outside your bedroom window. It’s flash mobs in Grand Central Station. It’s getting off a flight to Paris just before take-off. It’s singing “I Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You” in the bleachers in front of the whole school. 

 
a meditation for heartbreak

Even before it happens, mourn it. Memorise what his fingers feel like when they scratch your head every time you hug him. Slowly feed your grandmother some fruit, and when she has trouble swallowing, know that this is the last time she smiles at you.

 
Portrait of a migrant childhood with an Uncle-roommate

Non-passengers cannot go into airports in Bangladesh. My granny’s lined face—a mask of sagacity—was a novelty, simmering with anxiety and inexperience in the flat white light. Lips pursed like the aviation industry was one big blunder. She disapproved. People die in the place they were born. Most of all, we want consistency in a person.

 
Apple Crumble: The Perfect Companion

This recipe is quick and easy to make if you need a last-minute dessert! I first learnt how to make this recipe on a cold winter’s day. The fire was going, and I had just experienced the worst week of my life… I’m only joking, I’m not going to venture on some longwinded personal story that’s in no way related to the recipe (looking at you, bloggers). But in all seriousness, this apple crumble is the perfect way to counteract the lockdown blues we’ve all unfortunately come to know so wel

 
The Curtain Calls for You to Think: Self Acceptance

If you have Netflix, which I assume the majority of you do because what else is there to do during a lockdown and pandemic, you’ve probably seen an ad or the trailer for the new Joe Mantello & Ryan Murphy film “The Boys in the Band”. This modernised adaptation tells the story of a group of homosexual men in the 1960s and how a birthday party in a small New York apartment can become the epicentre of self truths and confessions of old loves. It becomes the intersection of the diverse narra

 
The OTHER Theory of Evolution: The Greatest Failed Experiment

During iso, I’ve bounced aimlessly through Wikipedia long enough to land on an article titled the ‘List of Discredited Substances.’ It includes the Philosopher’s Stone, a universal solvent, and even a unicorn’s horn. With each entry, is an explanation of how the substance was discredited, usually through various experiments (We apparently know unicorn horns don’t […]

 
A Third Culture Kid's Experience: The Art Upon Gallery Walls

The art upon gallery walls speak of deep histories, people immortalised in paint, lingering in their own mythologies. My feet always take me to the eighteenth-century European section, desiring to stand before illustrious portraiture of affluent women in creamy gowns, or poised families before pastoral landscapes, their homestead grandiose in the distance—beautiful, amorous, unified.

 
The Religion of One Direction

At first, I didn’t like them. You weren’t supposed to. Boys pantsed you in the playground. They licked the sap from trees thinking it was honey. Boys were pests. When I read about an up-and-coming boyband in the rainbow-glazed entertainment pages of Total Girl magazine, I decided to bring the matter before the jury the next day at school. The response was negative.

 
Suburban Mum Distressed That Neo-Nazi Slightly Mishandled Dog

A video featuring an area man named Dick Wiener (54) yelling racist epithets has recently gained prominence on social media. Wiener, whose arms and legs are heavily tattooed with neo-Nazi symbols, is seen enthusiastically making white power gestures at the camera with one hand while pulling a tiny Shih Tzu somewhat tightly by its leash with the other.

 
witches

moonlight bleaching bones                 in the trees  carving sigils into thighs   ice dripping from the                                        s  p   a    c     e              […]

 
The Curtain Calls for You to Think: Doing it Right

don’t think any of us can say that we aren’t aware of the trend that is the “remake”. We have Rebecca on Netflix, The Boys in the Band from my previous piece, the fan favourite Disney’s Mulan retold, and a new version of the Little Mermaid is in the works. I’m not going to say that the movie industry is running out of ideas, because new ideas, plots and films are constantly being released; personally, I just feel less excited.

 
A Third Culture Kid’s Experience: Sensing Your Belonging

The girl I love thinks belonging looks like blank walls re-envisioned. Bedrooms of low-sheen warm white have become her cross-cultural companion, a familiar stalker and a friendly face, the constant same hue amongst the apartments in her growing inventory. Several taped photographs offer small windows to past lives of different values: friendships with those she hasn’t seen in two years, a family portrait from graduation, and a Caravaggio reprint of Bacchus—these images are staples on her pla

 
The Allure of the Past When the Present’s a Bit Grim

Amidst this year’s seemingly endless cycle of bad news, there are moments when quite simply, it all gets a bit much. The need for pure, unadulterated comfort strikes, and it’s moments like these when I slip into my pyjamas, pull up the covers, and type into Netflix the very key to instant, delicious escapism…

 
The 5 Stages of failing a Driving Test

You thought this day was going to mark the beginning of your journey into self-sufficiency. Whether you memorised every road rule or forged your entire logbook, no amount of driving lessons could have prepared you for the emotional rollercoaster that is failing a driving test.

 
On the Outside Looking In: Democratising Literary Festivals Post-Pandemic

With over 50 writers festivals in Victoria alone, it can seem an overwhelming prospect to choose which ones to invest time in. For people outside of the industry, it can also sometimes feel intimidating to attend such events in the first place. Last year, I went to the opening night of the Melbourne Writers Festival with a couple of friends.

 
2 Audiobook Reviews, in Which There are 4 Recommendations, the Whole Thing is Split into Quarters and Bro I am Just Vibing.

Who says that not doing readings for class is a bad thing? It’s an action (or inaction I guess) that’s given me my main coping mechanism for the year’s turmoil, so I’m inclined to think that maybe skipping readings is, in fact, a healthy choice.

 
Trash Lit

When I was 15, I wrote 11,000 words of Merlin fanfiction. To this day, it is the most successful thing I’ve ever written – I still get emails every time someone reads it and clicks the fanfic equivalent of the ‘like’ button. I was a virgin, I didn’t know how sex works, but apparently, I’d read enough smut to be able to write it convincingly.

 
Four Ways to Make Parties Eco-Friendly

Okay, I don’t want to be a party grinch, but will you not agree with me on this: I think parties are repetitive. Someone calls for a party, we all plan, we go to a place, we eat a few snacks, drink a few somethings, laugh and talk for an hour then come back home — a standard party (of course, there are variations). I believe that if something is repetitive, we should make an effort to make sure it’s better.

 
Difference Between Being Proactive vs Reactive About Climate Change

Proactive is when you actively make sure that things don’t go wrong, reactive is when you react when things are going wrong. Here is an example so we are on the same page —say you keep up to date with lectures every day and develop your assignment every week — you are being proactive. Say […]

 
Yeah, Nah, Not Vibing with Fast Furniture

ecently, while moving in with my parents to a faraway suburb, I realized that I’d bought waaay too many books during my time alone at university. The point was: I needed a bookshelf. So, I went to Target—­ saw an 8-cube storage unit— 39 dollars only— great reviews online— sweet!

 
A Puppet with Wings

Dear reader, I hope that I do not bore you. If my life were a colour it would be a bleak salmon pink. If it were a sound it would be an alpha wave. But not those alpha waves that aid concentration when you’re trying to cram 170 hours of study into one night; I’m […]

 
i miss swanston street

They say that 0.01 centimetres is the urban space of possibilities: the distance between people (connections, separation) in the bustling city. It’s easy to get lost inside a crowd (or to lose yourself). Claim the rhythms of heartache and caffeinated loneliness and suddenly you’re not special or strange. You’re (the same as) everybody else just […]

 
where were you when i was kind

He leans back on wooden chair crimson with murmuring firelight reddening thins of cabbaged ears bright cheeks porous to the cave-like warmth, still bellows exhume tonically:  two Omeprazole nightly Old eyes faded blue as connect-the-dot veins meandering rice-paper arms he blinks and stories rise: twelve years and strapped car-wise on a Saturday guffawing glassed father […]

 
ptarmigan

into cracks spineless time slips fluid jellyfish – caught, only in your feathers’ wide net slung to trap the squirming future. you lend time your skeleton, old catskin croaker pussy willow bud.

 
Fallen

I have not fallen from the spine of my mother Because she always grasps me tight to her back Nor did I slip from her arm When she threw me into the sky of freedom To embrace the whispering wind   Because her hand is a swimming pool Where I embrace the warm waters of […]

 
When There Was Peace

After Katie Hale   Our dove has flown for sixty years But she still hasn’t moved a mile Not to talk of reaching her shore In the armpit of our dwelling (We hide our hairy shame)   When peace visited our faces We served him poisoned food It is left for a mother To let […]

 
Letter to the Editor

Letter to the Editors The Students’ Council of the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) is broken. It no longer serves students and instead addresses the personal grievances of a small group of people who zealously attempt to enact their personal ideologies. I have been the 2020 Education (Academic Affairs) Officer of UMSU in 2020, […]

 
Tutors at ‘tipping point’, Students Suffering During Wage Theft-Pandemic Double Hit

Tutors are asked to mark 1,000 words per half hour – could you do it? First year Arts student Sam Warner did not expect to spend most of 2020 talking to his tutors from his bedroom.  He says the transition to online learning has been difficult but he can also see the strain it has […]

 
The Morrison Government’s Pandemic Politics

With our lives consumed by COVID-19 this year, it has been almost impossible to keep up with every development in Australian politics. As we emerge from the second wave of the virus in Victoria, it is important to look back at the Federal Government’s policies and recognise they have made life harder for students and […]

 
Review: Honeybee: A world apart from its predecessor

Craig Silvey: Honeybee Allen & Unwin, 2020 ISBN, 9781760877224, $32.99, pp. 432 Within minutes of starting this book, I realised this was not the Craig Silvey I remembered from Jasper Jones. While some of the themes overlap—innocence, identity, confusion—this book isn’t quite like Jasper. Yet in some ways, Honeybee will be defined by its predecessor, a […]

 
Hildegard von Bingen, Clara Schumann and Emily Lau

Welcome to Canon in She, a column about women composers being amazing. In this edition, we have a medieval nun who told the church to stop being so damn corrupt, a concert pianist who had eight children while practically inventing the modern piano recital, and a collaborative music-maker fusing ancient and modern musical techniques.

 
In the Middle of the Empty Woods

A small cloaked figure hurried across the barren earth as the last of the sun’s light leaked from the sky. The only thing between him and the horizon was a lonely little house, nestled in the shadow of the last starving tree. The tips of its leafless branches split and splintered like a hundred bony […]

 
Exile

  ?? ??? ??? ????? ?????? No land on this earth carries me ??????? ????? So my speech carries me Mahmoud Darwish      I do not speak of olive trees and the smell of gunpowder.   My exile is one of peace, the crash of the Arabian sea. The crescendo of the adhan, the […]

 
Urban Nostalgia

People associate cities with alienation. Consumerism. The soul-sucking nine-to-five grind. Cold capitalist sterility and chaotic excess, side by side. Tall towers devoid of character, obscuring the sky with glass and steel. Crowds so suffocatingly thick you lose your sense of self. Glaring lights, loud noises you can’t drown out. Light pollution, sound pollution, air pollution. […]

 
The Sound of Silence

Midnight, and you begin your walk home. In the abandoned suburban streets, you imagine you are the sole survivor of an apocalypse. Though once afraid of the dark, necessity has forced you to grow up quickly and now the night is your friend. Traffic lights flicker, continuing their rounds. Their metallic hearts beat alongside yours.  […]

 
The Sea Monster

A sea monster lurks beneath dirty waves. It rises when I stare at the water for too long. Its body sends a veil of salty spray to the ocean floor and its mouth forms a great black pit when it screams. I imagine myself swimming, floating sinking inside of it, unnoticed. I try to transform […]

 
The Mother’s Lullaby

That sweet lullaby, My first single, my first album, my first concert Emanating from my mother’s chest to the drums of my ear held against her breast A little head floating up and down with her every breath after breath Amidst the weary grating of her aching bones, Against a larynx of desperation, And a […]

 
The Girl Who Searched for the Heavens

One after another. Her tears bubbled up and slid down her cheeks with each hiccup that escaped. Her tiny frame trembled with each breath taken. Breezes blew all around her; not with encouragement but a reminder—the hollows of her near-past howled. Like the numbered pattern of a clock, bodies systematically lay around her and the […]

 
Dissection of a Piglet’s Heart

  right atrium how strange it is. how fragile, wobbling watery yolk in my palm ribs bending between my fingers like pipe cleaners scattering blood onto a sanitized tray right ventricle how strange to imagine its first stirrings, moth wings wedged between slumped lungs, foetal halfthoughts that never grasped the taste of oxygen left atrium […]

 
Conversations at a Diner

They sat in the end booth of the diner, the one furthest from the door. He still wore his hat and her, her coat. “It’s just awful isn’t it? What happened to Howard.” She looked out the window at the darkened street outside. “It always is, when someone is murdered.” The waitress came over and […]

 
burst asunder

sun-sweet green flesh rimming a pink rockpool rosy anemones swirl in glistening sea gardens a coral paradise afloat with life: Juno’s summer lagoon splashing kids lick pink syrup fingers –  the fig tree watches silently. guardian of green worlds on heaped branches high; dusk rustles quiet leaves. 

 
Flash Fiction Edition Four 2020: Cycle

Road Music by Vanessa Lee I catch her in the corner of my eye, cycling by my side with rain-damp curls and arms outstretched like wings. We were eleven, almost twelve, and shouting the words to some old song. There is a road named after a flower at the end of our street. Our mothers […]

 
Badass Women

Have you ever seen Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End? During the pirate council, there’s an older Chinese lady who dominates the room with her piercing gaze. Well, in this case, she isn’t just the token PoC woman added in as an afterthought – in actual fact, she’s a cardholding badass character based off […]

 
The Cherryman: Inasmuch as the Road Forks Here

He lives in a small, round, earthen cottage deep in the quiet parts of the world. Each day mint is picked for tea at sunrise and he waits for his bread to leaven for a late breakfast. At noon he hikes to the top of Pullberry Hill and takes in the ridges and the autumn […]

 
The Night Places

Botanic Gardens, 18:56 The office windows turn dark one by one like broken pixels. Small cars carry the light out to the suburbs.  There are eleven hours and twenty-two minutes to sunrise. The evening’s last joggers pass, women clutching phones like weapons.   Big W, 21:57 The boy announces the store will be closing in […]

 
Shipwreck

Driftwood ribs turn over in her sleep The ship keens under the weight of evening creaking gently about the sand in her stomach Her bones so bare not even the gulls have nested in her slowly disintegrating body As my toes sink into the shell-grit by the water a wave unearths timbers that must belong […]

 
Lonely Hearts of the Animal Kingdom

Female Bonobo “Let’s make love, not war.” Hey lover, listen, I bet you’ve got a lot of stress. When your body’s filled with negativity it can make you lash out. But check this, we figured out a way to stop all the hate, conflict and wars. Sex solves a lot of problems, man. Most, actually. […]

 
camouflage

my hair is a weapon, is a shield, is a badge, is a   chart of all the things I call myself I’m a feminist, so I’ll leave the house with overgrown legs I am a dyke, short sides and back, because a barber costs less, but so does denial I am desirable, strawberry blond […]

 
Queer Online Birthday in Quarantine

for Olive Morgan says, happy birthing of the meat. Time isn’t real, Billie adds, but your body trusts it – still – like a loser. I mutter something like, yeah Discord is shit, the world is a fuck and you’re older and dad to a shifty cat I want to bury my face in. Ulysses […]

 
Staring into the eyes of many strangers to know oneself

Pinned Discussions Introductions: Please introduce yourself here. Imogen: Hi everyone! I’ll be first cab off the rank. I might not know you, but I’m sure you know me. How can I be so sure? I’m the person who has been answering every post on the discussion boards. And I’m no slouch, so I like to […]

 
Local Man Aghast After Discovering How Much Work His Wife Does Around the House

After transitioning to remote work during COVID-19 restrictions, HR manager Richie Monaco (39) was stunned to discover how much domestic labour his wife quietly performs every day. “Honestly, mate, I thought there wasn’t much for her to do,” confessed an exhausted Monaco during a Zoom interview with Farrago, rocking a newborn with his left hand […]

 
Arts sector continues to face challenges during COVID-19 pandemic

With Melbourne’s concert halls and theatres closed indefinitely to audiences, the arts sector continues to face challenges shifting online during the COVID-19 pandemic. On 13 March, Prime Minister Scott Morrison announced a ban on gatherings of up to 500 people. Just hours after Morrison’s announcement, the Melbourne International Comedy Festival (MICF) announced that it “will […]

 
“Vague and Confusing” : Students Challenged by Online Delivery of Stem Subjects

As the University of Melbourne continues to remain online for semester two, STEM students worry that their studies are at a disadvantage after their experience in online labs and practicals during semester one. While specific arrangements for practical classes vary across subjects and faculties, many units within the Faculty of Science have transitioned their in-person […]

 
Secret Spaces: The George Paton Gallery

“There’s no gallery on the Parkville campus!” This was me in 2017. Unfortunately, I hear my sentiments echoed across the campus. There is, in fact, a gallery on campus – a rather important gallery. The George Paton Gallery (GPG) Founded in 1971 as the Ewing and George Paton Gallery, GPG is located on level 2 of […]

 
Delayed Response to COVID-19 Leaves Unimelb Exchange Students Stranded

University of Melbourne exchange students found their plans thrown into jeopardy as Australia first enforced bans towards interstate and overseas travellers. When Victoria first went into lockdown in March, many students—local and international—struggled to receive sound advice on how the rest of their semester would unfold. The response from the University of Melbourne to coronavirus […]

 
Goddess, Murderess, Virgin, Whore

So, mother, go back to your quarters. Tend to your own tasks…as for giving orders, men will see to that, but I, most of all: hold the reins of power in this house. – Homer, The Odyssey –  Reluctantly, waiting to quit her cubicle there… her taut sex still burning, inflamed with lust, Then she’d […]

 
A Non-Exhaustive List of the Very Specific Things I Miss About (the Parkville) Campus

Reader, did campus ever really exist? Or was it some very expensive collective hallucination we all had? After all, it’s been months (weeks? decades? time is bizarre this year) since I set foot in the place, and my memories of it are becoming ever-hazier.  Kidding aside, I do miss campus. Not its flashier, brashier aspects […]

 
Pick Your Own Adventure: A Guide to Being Alone at 2AM

You’ve found yourself here again. 2am, seated at a cluttered table, lost in your thoughts. A few years shy of 25, you think you’ve lived enough years to feel wiser than you do.  Instead, you’re sitting here with more questions than answers, unable to shake off an overwhelming sense of unease and dread about the […]

 
Review: LOWITJA

Stuart Rintoul: LOWITJA Allen & Unwin, 2020. ISBN, 9781760875602, $45, pp. 392.   Powerful words for a powerful woman. The authorised biography of Lowitja O’Donoghue explores the price she paid as a self empowered woman in a country that was not yet ready for her strength. I have to admit that before reading this book I was […]

 
The Fight for Education

The cost of Law, Commerce and Humanities degrees is set to increase by up to 113 per cent after the Coalition struck a deal with the Centre Alliance party, which passed the Job-Ready Graduates package through the Senate on Thursday 8 October. The bill is aimed at reducing fees for courses that align with the […]

 
Review: Ellis Island

Malgorzata Szejnert: Ellis Island Scribe Publications, 2020 ISBN, 9781950354054, pp. 400, $49.99   To be honest, I didn’t go into Malgorzata Szejnert’s Ellis Island: A People’s History with the highest of expectations. Its title implied a generic (if slightly dull) history of America’s busiest immigration inspection station, through which over 12 million immigrants passed into New […]

 
Why Bystander Intervention Matters

You would think that our public spaces being almost empty during a pandemic would make them free of harassment. Yet, throughout the pandemic, we’ve seen people from all walks of life experience harassment—from school children to fellow students at the University, people experiencing homelessness to Melbourne city councillors. Harassment is pervasive; however, not everyone is […]

 
The Curtain Calls For You to Think: Friends

The Mean Girls movie taught us that “on Wednesdays we wear pink” and taught me that I related the most to that girl who cried and wanted to bake a cake made of “smiles and rainbows” because I too have a lot of feelings.

 
Edition Three 2020 Editorial

Bethany Cherry The world has become overwhelming. Our lives have become numbers, names have become movements, and reminders of how ‘well’ everyone else is handling this pandemic are being projected all over the walls like trophies. I want an honest conversation about how unhealthy this is. The inclination of the human is to connect, something […]

 
Review: no visible bruises: what we don’t know about domestic violence can kill us

Snyder shines the light primarily on the American justice system as she breaks her book down into three sections “The End”, “The Beginning” and “The Middle”, which explore how we come to know about domestic abuse and how it can be born.

 
Review: Meet the Mullets

Comfy in my pyjamas and sitting in my bedroom I decided to take myself to the theatre buuut being 2020 this meant clicking a Zoom link, hoping for some semblance of the ritual of theatre-going that I know and love.  The Travelling Sisters (Lucy Fox, Laura Trenerry and Ell Sachs), an award-winning physical comedy troupe […]

 
Review: The Pact – A Slow-Burn Mystery for the Zoom Era

Bitten By Production’s 2020 theatrical season was one of the many creative casualties of the COVID-19 pandemic. Not to be stymied by the lockdown performance drought, the company has produced a 14-episode miniseries instead, bringing together a team of emerging writers to create a compelling story from isolation. The episodes are punchy and short, telling […]

 
2020 UMSU Candidates

Are you voting in the 2020 UMSU Elections? UMSU Election week is from the 7-11 September 2020. Here you can find links to your candidates and their statements below in alphabetical order by position. If you have any questions or concerns please don’t hesitate in reaching out to the Deputy Returning Officer, Stephen Luntz. Other relevant information […]

 
Hum, thrum

I’ve always lived in the eastern suburbs. Where I live, there’s these hills with TV towers on them that loom over suburbia. No matter where you are, you can see them from almost every point. And they have this permanent electric thrumming sound—an unrelenting suburban melody. The persistence of the hills, with their watchful eyes […]

 
Flash Fiction Edition Three 2020: Time

The Fifth Dimension by Felicity Lacey We walked through the doors of the campus café and into the fifth dimension, where it suddenly became like looking at life through a bubble blown into sunlight. The average world distorted into rainbow hues that oozed and eased into gentle curves. I remember laughing as we sank into […]

 
how I would like to believe in tenderness

Looming antiquities when the past had teeth and bottletops, hammocked days toes intertwined, hand on tit, This was love. and dripping manhood, too hot to catch The doorknob was slippery with what, i don’t know and then, furious as an unkept promise tethered to its pursuer purpose unknown like the finger tattoo the lip tattoo […]

 
wake early to be late

suppose I set my alarm so I wake graceful, without a start, open my eyes to a squared sky, where the world is only birds and clouds suppose birds are not birds but feathered clouds drifting in and out of not clouds but faded cloth suppose birds are words but words are not birds –– […]

 
Fruit Fly

What is this fruit that smells of plastic?  Surely, there is an apple in this vast expanse bordered with white illumination. Look!          There!                   That reddish sheen is unmistakable. So focused is my vision, framed on you.          Your yellow […]

 
Masterpiece in Retrograde

Dusk nights upon dreary bushfires. I wait holding a crystal glass, filled two thirds the colour of the sky. Your charcoal fingers knock on the door, leaving ash on oak. Avant-garde Miscreant is how you signed your works. My house is now a gilded frame. The floor of sketches, the walls of colour theory, the […]

 
Bitter dust

Ama, Amie, Amour – everyone called you along those lines. Ama, Amie, Amour defined you, roped you like a confused braid.  Little storyteller, little dancer, the girl with purple ballet shoes wrapped in silk.  See my eyes? My favourite tale. You told it after you cried. After my father said everyone talked about you and […]

 
Hot Air Balloon

Sitting in a waste-paper basket drifting off into oblivion waiting for the rest of the world to follow. The earth is an acrylic treat, an impressionist spattering of quiet vermillion, lilac grey, oak brown. Our balloon leaves a mark in the sky. It’s a shadow, an omen telling ground dwellers to leave, to fly. We […]

 
and much besides, your life depends on it

danger wore a bolt purple dress he reads poems as bedtime stories to the children kneeled at his feet in bewildered woods widowed where he could have been jesus he borrows tongues like promises like weapons so to dance in dapples he doesn’t let me in i had seen him before in somebody else’s arms […]

 
Review: Something That May Shock and Discredit You

Daniel M. Lavery: Something That May Shock and Discredit You Scribe Publications, 2020. ISBN, 9781922310040, pp. 256, $29.99   Something That May Shock and Discredit You is a work that is incredibly comforting for a trans reader. It is, at its heart, a sincere exercise in reckoning with what ‘trans’ is, for a trans person, […]

 
UMSU Annual Elections

UMSU Annual Elections The University of Melbourne Student Union Elections will be held from 7th-11th September to elect student representatives for 2021. The UMSU constitution requires elections to be held on paper, not online. Consequently, voting will be held through a combination of in person (if possible) and postal voting. Voting for University Council Student […]

 
Conflict Surrounding Performative Allyship in UMSU Students’ Council

CONTENT WARNING: racism, white supremacy, police brutality, First Nations deaths in custody and other references to cultural genocide that have in particular impacted First Nations People of Australia. This article includes references to deceased First Nations People. When Jessie Ferrari, the Indigenous Representative on Students’ Council, alongside councillor Thonya Deverall and the University of Melbourne […]

 
Edition Four 2020 Content List

A content list is a collection of prompts, ideas that the editors collect to direct the theme and content of the magazine. The Farrago content list is a way to begin, to be inspired, and  is by no means an exhaustive list of content—you can pitch your own ideas or send in cold submissions. We […]

 
A Hidden Struggle: COVID-19 and International Student Mental Health

According to international students from the University of Melbourne, the COVID-19 crisis, in particular its effects on their academics and financial situations, has had a detrimental impact on their mental health. 

 
“Apology without action means nothing”: First Nations students denounce the destruction of sacred sites

On June 17, the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Indigenous Department and and the other UMSU student representative departments released a joint statement condemning Rio Tinto’s destruction of a sacred site in the Western Pilbara, referring to the mining company’s decision as “an act of cultural genocide”.

 
University concedes to vet students’ demands

The University of Melbourne has adjusted its accommodation of veterinary students following pushback after its announcement that students would be evicted from Kendall Hall because of COVID-19 restrictions.   In a May 26 meeting between the Melbourne Veterinary School and veterinary students, it was revealed that fourth-year students with accommodation at Werribee Campus had five business […]

 
Behind the Signs, a March Towards Justice

This news opinion piece mentions Indigenous deaths in custody, suicide, child abuse, racial genocide, and police violence. Cultural warning for references to deceased persons. Featured photo by Finley Tobin.  The size of the crowd meeting the urgency of the moment, tens of thousands of Victorians attended the Black Lives Matter rally in Naarm (Melbourne) on […]

 
International students’ demand for fee relief and compensation

Students at the University of Melbourne have come together to campaign for the reduction and compensation of their tuition fees following the switch to online classes. Gathering on platforms like Facebook, over 3,500 students have in the last two months joined groups such as UNIMELB-Fee Reduction-Online Teaching-COVID 19, where they are sharing experiences and grievances around a widely perceived deterioration in teaching quality.

 
2020 results excluded from entrance scores for medicine, dentistry, optometry and physiotherapy

No student results from 2020 will be recognised by the University of Melbourne for applications to the doctorate degrees in medicine, dentistry, optometry and physiotherapy in 2021.

 
University Casuals Slipping Through The Cracks

Casual staff at the University of Melbourne are facing significant financial insecurity amidst of COVID-19 pandemic, as measures implemented by university management and the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) to save jobs places them in a greater state of precarity.  Early in May, the NTEU proceeded with the release of the National Jobs Protection Framework […]

 
Queues for ‘Our Shout’ food vouchers span blocks around Melbourne Town Hall

Hundreds of international students were spotted queueing around the Melbourne Town Hall building since Thursday, 30 May to redeem cash vouchers given by the Melbourne City Council through its ‘Our Shout’ program. Students were required to provide proof of identity and redeem their vouchers in person to avoid fraud.

 
Green jobs must be protected: University of Melbourne staff address the Vice-Chancellor

The University of Melbourne’s National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) Climate Justice Network has published an open letter to Vice-Chancellor Duncan Maskell demanding job security for energy and climate scientists as the economic toll of COVID-19 mounts in the tertiary education sector.

 
“Endorse Terrorism”: Hong Kong Students Angered by the University’s HKPF Recruitment Post

Over 1,300 people have signed an online petition demanding the University of Melbourne to remove a controversial Hong Kong Police Force (HKPF) recruitment listing from the Career Online Job Board, calling the University’s decision to keep the advertisement as “endors[ing] terrorism”. 

 
University of Melbourne Rejects National Jobs Protection Framework

The University of Melbourne will not participate in the National Jobs Protection Framework as proposed by the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU), describing it as a “complex, bureaucratic mechanism” in an email to staff on Friday.

 
Weapons Manufacturer’s Partnership with University and UMSU Raises Tough Ethical Questions

University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU)-affiliated clubs were selected for funding from the defence company Boeing, potentially breaching the Union’s own constitution, sponsorship policy, and official public stance.  In 2019, Boeing — ranked the second-highest grossing global weapons manufacturer for the last three years — committed to partnership funding for both the University’s School of […]

 
My Timetable

The new decade has seen the University adopt a new timetabling system, with MyTimetable’s preferential class allocations replacing my.unimelb. This change has been polarising. A statement released online by the University indicates that the system is designed to confer an “equitable opportunity” for all students to receive their “preferred class timetable”.  “By following a preference-based […]

 
Overcoming the ripple effect of normative gender stereotypes to attain gender equality

There persists a misunderstanding between ‘sex’ and ‘gender’, which often has a negative impact when shaping and representing gender roles within society.  The Oxford Dictionary refers to ‘sex’ as the biological characteristics that define a person based on their reproductive functions. It refers to ‘gender’ more fluidly – with broader reference to social and cultural […]

 
UMSU Condemns University Inaction on Racist Buildings

CW: eugenics and racism. On 13 February, University of Melbourne Student Union’s (UMSU) Students’ Council passed a motion titled “Stop celebrating eugenics!”. The motion requested  the University to rename buildings named after eugenicists and acknowledge their racism. The motion “[reaffirmed UMSU’s] stance against racism” and “called upon the University to make some formal acknowledgement of […]

 
Secret Spaces: A Review of From Heart + Mind at the Dax Centre

CW: mental illness, psychological and physical trauma.  In challenging and uncertain times, art is a creative medium for staying on top of mental health and coming to terms with isolation and identity.  This connection between art and mental health is the focus of From Heart + Mind, an exhibition which showed at the Dax Centre […]

 
Local Student Perfects Work-Life Balance

PARKVILLE—Local student and identical twin Simon Whitaker, 21, confirmed on Monday that he has discovered the secret to a perfect work-life balance. “It’s taken a few years of trial and error, but we—pardon me—I have finally struck gold and come across the best way to balance all my competing commitments,” boasted the at-peace Whitaker to […]

 
Flash Fiction Edition Two 2020: Firework

by Vanessa Lee January, February pressed their lips to my neck, leaving sunburn and blisters behind. They apologised, of course, and laid our heads in their laps. We dreamt like it was January 1st of summers past, fireworks dancing in our eyes.  When the rain came, I danced alone on the baked earth of my […]

 
Lonely Hearts of the Animal Kingdom

Male Giraffe “Kinkshamers need not respond.” Hello, fellow equal! I think there’s one thing we should get out of the way and I hope this won’t offend you. You see, I’m a big user of the “C” word: consent. We all like to get a little freaky sometimes. But I want to make sure you’re […]

 
Badass Women

Up next we have the lovely walking encyclopedia, Hypatia of Alexandria. The daughter of a well-respected academic, Hypatia was an Ancient Greek-Egyptian astronomer, mathematician and philosopher who was born around 350 CE (Common Era). She was raised outside the constricting gender roles within Egyptian-Greek society by her forward thinking Papa and thrived as a professor […]

 
The Cherryman: Overneath the Cold Cracked Hall

On the moon’s longest night, during the feast of Lune Harbour, cupped mead and slight comments danced courtly between Queen Sabbas IX and her duchesses and ladies. Jesters, firebreathers, novel conjurers and their travel-worn familiars paid tribute. Drunken commonfolk with crumpled invitations bawled their gratitude. Flourishing, grovelling, performing, and staying silently prayerful in the presence […]

 
The Proposal

I am going now, into the soft swooning night. Sleep well, sweetheart, I will be back soon. I need to talk to the night, that sweltering air enveloping us all, carrying us precariously to dawn. I need to talk to something that is not you. After an evening such as the one we’ve passed, there […]

 
Gran and Me On Tour

“Guard, Gran.” “Yes, I know! Such a charming guide!” “No, Gran, he’s a guard… a guard.” “…He’s going to get a big tip from me! And that accent! O there’s nothing more magical than an Irishman’s tongue!” she winks as a flush accelerates across my face. “Shall I ask if he’s single?”  “Gran!” Her imagination […]

 
? (You)

Two boats cast their fishing nets, I am the mermaid caught in the middle, ??,??, they both compete.  They reach for spears when they realise ??????????. And isn’t it better to kill, Than have a creature of two worlds?  The waves offer me up treacherously, ???????, I’m sushi ready to be served, ???????. ??? scraped […]

 
Devotion(s)

CW: coercive relationships, implied dysphoria and implied transphobia Say we’re sat cross-legged, however many of us, arms twined watching Lizzie McGuire re-runs where she has her first kiss on our Switch, her heart broken when Ronnie says later–we all repeat– We need to talk, in different voices. You are impersonating Ronnie deliciously: the small fry […]

 
missing (a found poem)

content warning: child abuse, death, kidnapping, abduction and violence. a pink Barbie book bag buried in a public park lipstick marks on a pimpled face denim pants and a scar on her knee picking peaches from a neighbour’s tree cherries on her left shoulder blade long ponytails in spring clowns in the rear window deep-set […]

 
Zipper

Picture my mouth as a zipper, one that you open and close whenever you like.  If I talk too much you slide that cold metal across my lips and force me to be silent if I talk too little you push words inside my wet cave of a mouth.  I rip the zipper from my […]

 
Sunset

Observe the objective world  directly through the senses.                                    Representations are undermined                                     from glitches in the physiology                                     of the brain.   Sunset, various parts of Melbourne city.  Loud crowds distract and fluorescent lights distract and Graceful infrastructure Blocks the view Of the sunset.   Sunset,    Open space.                        Man walks his dog   Large 

 
Second to Last

i. you only know you’re successful when you have rocks in your mouth when your mouth is where your chest was now tectonic-plated, clashing the right-brained and the left-handed so a new mountain was raised of a molehill mind— to brave teacup-storms with, to balance coffee on,   you don’t open your mouth for fear […]

 
Fantasy

When the quarter moon sets,                                       Something is perhaps known, or even                              a line descends                                                    revealed in the moonlight, between him and him, them and them, her and her                                                                                                        yet, and yet it breaks, in some shape and form, it is lost a little           just a little              [&hell

 
Eternity and Time

I The moon in a tea cosy     twinkles at half mast our bones and eyes     a sprinkle of stardust on the canvas of time She dances from swell to swell     swaying from the rigging  A tinkling of the whales’ windchimes                                                                                                               The blue water of dawn filled the room.   II Lost ideas and blank […]

 
A Buddhist Funeral on Reunion Day

CW: death There’s nothing in that area, you warned me too late, after I alighted into a cartography of auto-workshops, flat stretches of old grass; the shadowy hull of Eunoia Junior College. Once humming with gasoline, the asphalt lies as if dead no pink flags rumbling in the distance, no trucks ferrying the din of […]

 
DURIAN/DURIAN

Durian,  Much loved, yet maligned fruit Your spiky, intimidating appearance masks something hidden, enticingly forbidden, tempting us to indulge our lips inside your unknown landscape of custardy flesh And like a mole working its deception, you take everyone unawares when you are exposed Your musky, exotic aroma is mysterious Nefarious even So when your presence is […]

 
Review: Partition Voices

Bari is the Bengali word for one’s ancestral home; it is your desh, the place that always holds an important key to understanding who you are. For those uprooted – and often traumatised, as the people in this series of true stories often are – the idea of bari is a confusing one…

 
University of Melbourne fossil fuel ties run deep

Despite long-running campaigns calling for a transition away from the fossil fuel industry, the University of Melbourne continues to foster ties with the world’s largest carbon emitters, including Saudi Aramco and ExxonMobil.

 
COVID-19 Welfare Explainer

Has COVID-19 impacted you financially? There is plenty of financial support for students at the moment if you know where to look.

 
UMSU Condemns University Inaction Against The Bushfire Crisis

In its 22 January Students’ Council meeting, the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) condemned the University of Melbourne for not fulfilling its duty of care to students and staff in the Summer Term, during which bushfires in East Gippsland led to hazardous levels of air quality. 

 
A Sex and Dating Guide During COVID-19

With many countries going into lockdown and millions staying home, the coronavirus is definitely the biggest cockblock of 2020. Couples and single folks alike are wondering: “How the hell do I get freaky in a time like this?”.

 
UMSU Condemns the University’s Handling of Alleged Sexual Assault Against PhD Student 

The University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) has condemned the University’s actions following the revelation of a $700,000 payout to a former international PhD student and survivor of alleged sexual harassment and assault.  

 
Students and staff critical of residential colleges’ response to coronavirus

Current and former students at the University of Melbourne’s residential colleges have expressed frustration and concern about their administrations’ handling of the COVID-19 outbreak.

 
COVID-19: International Students

The campus should close for the safety of all students and staff. But, we ask that the university make the necessary accommodations that would be equitable for ALL students moving forward.

 
Battle of the Animation Studios: Disney vs DreamWorks

Animated films are an integral part of the movie industry, regularly topping the box office and working as a reflection of society. Almost everyone has a soft spot for animated movies, regardless of age. Being lost in a child’s world allows adult worries to disappear, if only for a moment. 

 
SATIRE: Sponsored post — Languagely

Do you find communicating with your peers difficult? Is the burden of individual expression… burdensome? Would you rather spend your time critiquing the failings of others without exposing yourself to the same threat?
Help is here. With Languagely, never again will you have to think about how to express yourself effectively.

 
Quiet Entitlement: The Problem with Mum and Dad Investors

Australians need to change the way we view buying a house. Since the Menzies era, owning your own home has been integral to the Australian dream. A right afforded to those who worked hard and paid their taxes. Good citizens.

 
Not a teenager, not an adult

Then it hits me: is this how my twenties are supposed to be? A cycle of day drinking before marching through the doors of the Royal Exhibition Building every exam season? I cannot drive. I cannot cook. I have never touched a water bill in my life. Surely this is not how my parents envisioned my adulthood when traversing seas for a better life. 

 
BIG LOVE

I was 14 when Mum and Dad brought Billie home. 

 
A Third Culture Kid's Experience: Sex

Every sexual experience that I have had has boiled down to one governing emotion: guilt.

 
Flash Fiction Edition One 2020: Summer

100 words or less.
Theme: Summer

 
Strange little boy

they call you

  Strange, little boy.

 
UniMelb online learning transition leaves students and staff without support
Several students wearing face masks sit in the Old Quad.

On March 16, the University announced lectures and tutorials with over 500 students were required to cease face-to-face teaching by the following day. Classes with over 25 students but fewer than 500 will need to be online-only by March 30.

 
OPINION: Observing Australia During the Bushfire Crisis

The last few months in Australia have seen frustration and confusion towards the Australian Government and their response to bushfires among the residents of the country.

 
Metro Tunnel ‘On Track’ For Success

Four of Melbourne’s busiest rail lines were replaced by buses for the majority of January, as construction of the Metro Tunnel continued. 

 
Australian Creatives Rally for Bushfire Relief

As donations towards the recovery effort for Australia’s unprecedented bushfire season nears $500 million dollars, the arts community has rallied around these fundraising efforts, with a wide range events, auctions and pledges organised around the country in the past months.

 
UMSU Updates

Students’ Council so far…
In the first Students’ Council meeting of the 2020 term, Students’ Council passed UMSU’s budget for this year.

 
How to Forget Him

Smash the amulet
that you are so sure
holds his eyes within it

 
The Cherryman: The Boy from Stormwater

The first child born to a god brought the moon back.

 
Losing Grip

John woke up with a grenade in his hand.
That wasn’t the worst of it. His alarm said he was going to be late for work.

 
The Place Where the Stars Have Gone

He tells you to meet him on level six of that car park tucked behind the shops. There must be nowhere else to park at this time of night. You don’t realise it’s the rooftop.

 
the snow falls softly

they run
losing memories like leaves

 
Love Note: 54

You are still there.
Frozen

 
I Follow Your Route

A moth in the sink is
Not a broccoli

 
for joy.

the sky’s sparkling with fractured light
the champagne has bubbled our heads

 
pomegranate streetwalker

I’m seven 
pushing my bike down the lane 
the crunchy gravel sounds delicious

 
gallery of rotten riches

under the withered moon of catastrophe
a strain on the blueberry sky.

 
kitchen ants

They reverberate their
pheromone calls

 
Melbourne Within Me: Excerpts From My Journal

189 Elgin Street is a cafe which holds what I thought we had lost: good soup and a slow view. It is a museum of inefficient objects put to dance.

 
Review: Goodbye, Elton John

This concert was 50 years in the making, and my goodness did it exceed my highly-set expectations! 
After performing in Melbourne multiple times throughout his long and successful career, Sir Elton John took his last bow on a Melbourne stage on Sunday 15th December. This 150th show of his Farewell Yellow Brick Road Tour was performed at a packed Rod Laver Arena, full to the brim of fans who were eagerly awaiting the chance to see Elton perform one last time.

 
COVID-19 Liveblog

Farrago have a number of reporters working on pieces about COVID-19 (Coronavirus) that are still developing. Unfortunately, the nature of the pandemic has resulted in rapidly changing information from our sources, and the university itself. As a result we are setting up this Liveblog so we can provide information to you in a timely manner.

 
Melbourne Law School’s Response to COVID-19
University of Melbourne Logo

The Melbourne Law School has announced plans to make available recordings of all streams of compulsory subjects in response to growing concerns around COVID-19.

 
Review: Pollen Revolution @ Asia TOPA

Despite being younger than his mentors, Akira Kasai is considered to be one of the most established figures of butoh, starting his own studio in Japan–before studying Eurythmy (expressive movement art) in Germany. Kasai’s wide range of influences is evident in Pollen Revolution, brought for the first time to the Melbourne stage by Dancehouse Theatre.

 
Commencement Ceremony Crashed by Dual Protests

Billed as “the core of the Melbourne Orientation experience,” the Melbourne Commencement Ceremony was derailed on Tuesday afternoon by two protest actions, demanding both university action and student mobilisation. Both the National Tertiary Education Union (NTEU) and Unimelb Students for Climate Justice staged separate protests at the Royal Exhibition Building, where the event was being […]

 
Barbara Strozzi

Welcome to Canon in She, a column all about women composers, their fascinating lives and brilliant music.

 
OPINION: Pride March, Pertinent and Powerful in 2020
Midsumma Festival

I’ve been an out-and-about queer for the last five years, but 2020 marked my first year marching with pride as I joined the Graduate Student Association contingent. Walking with the colour, fanfare, love and welcomed embrace that is synonymous with the Pride March, I was reminded of how important these events (and my attendance) are […]

 
Review: Laneway Festival – Rock and roll is dead. God bless.

St Jerome’s Laneway Festival, known affectionately as ‘Laneway’, made the move from the concrete jungle of Footscray’s Community Arts Centre to the luscious wonderland of Footscray Park in 2019. The name celebrates the event’s roots as a boutique inner-city festival born in the back alleys of Lonsdale Street, but the 2020 rendition of Laneway Melbourne was a far cry from its modest beginnings. 

 
Menstrual Cups: Yay or Nay

Menstrual cups, the lesser-known alternative to managing periods have recently come to the spotlight as climate crisis is becoming more evident, and public participation to the matter is resulting in positive and effective turns (ngl, we woke).

 
Review: DreamWorks Animation: The Exhibition

Beginning as a celebration of the studio’s 20th anniversary, the collection of creative works on display has grown with each new film released in the late 2010’s, culminating in a behind-the-scenes peak at 37 animated features. Unlike a theme-park or premiere event, where the emphasis is placed upon the visitor and their interactions with film characters, DreamWorks Animation: The Exhibition is very much a celebration of the filmmakers and creative processes behind each film.  

 
Review: The Last Free Man and Other Stories

I must say there is a strangely melancholic tinge when reading a book so heavily steeped in Australiana as you fly out of Australia. For a book like The Last Free Man, this culminates in the desire to stare out the window at the vastness of the Australian wilderness and for a brief moment be alone (blessedly, when one’s seat is in front of a small screaming child) as Jimmy Healy does in the opening story of the same name. 

 
Review: The Lighthouse

The Lighthouse takes inspiration from Edgar Allen Poe’s work to create a dark, filthy and perversely comedic chamber piece of hallucination and repression. A hyper-stylised aesthetic plunges viewers into the eerie, miserable atmosphere of a remote island in 1890s New England.

 
Uni Response to Coronavirus Shocks Chinese International Students

Chinese international students are distressed by the University of Melbourne’s refusal to delay term dates, despite Australia banning travel from China in response to the coronavirus outbreak. The announcement, which was also circulated via the Vice-Chancellor’s email on 3 February, indicated that no disruptions to the usual summer term and Semester One schedules would occur. […]

 
Edition Two 2020 Content List

Edition Two 2020 submissions are now open! Check out our content list for groovy prompts and inspiration!

 
Review: A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood

A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood arrives in the midst of yet another tepid Oscar season, squashed within a crowded line-up of adapted true stories, including the downfall of Roger Ailes (Bombshell [2020]), the denouement of Judy Garland’s career (Judy [2019]), and some cars going vroom vroom very fast (Ford v Ferrari [2019]).

 
Review: How accurate is the film Bombshell?

Bombshell succeeds at a lot of things: incredible prosthetics and makeup, captivating audiences while evoking intense emotion, and using clever wordplay in the title of the film. The movie follows three blonde “bombshells” through the challenges and devastation of sexual harassment which ultimately ends in a different kind of bombshell.

 
Climate Protest Goes Ahead Despite Criticism From Authorities

Thousands of Melburnians gathered at the State Library on Friday to demand immediate climate action.  Despite persistent rain, protestors filled the steps of the library and overflowed onto Swanston Street and La Trobe Street, before marching through the city. Around 30,000 people attended the march according to organisers Uni Students for Climate Justice. The student […]

 
Review: Cats

At its core, it is a wildly CGI’d musical movie about cats begging to die, starring some of the most iconic people in entertainment (plus James Corden).

 
Review: Little Women

Little Women (2019) is a radical re-arranging of Alcott’s novel, a tapestry of moments rather than a chronological narrative.

 
Edition One 2020 Content List

Edition One 2020 Submissions are now open! Check out our content list for groovy ideas and inspiration!

 
Review: Atlantics

French-Senegalese filmmaker Mati Diop’s feature film debut, Atlantics, is a sensitively crafted, dream-like journey haunted by the desire for freedom.

 
Former UMSU President Molly Willmott elected NUS President
Willmott as incoming NUS President

On the third day of the National Conference (NatCon), former University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) President Molly Willmott was elected President of the National Union of Students (NUS). Following withdrawals, her election was unopposed. As a member of the National Labor Students (NLS), Willmott succeeded Desiree Cai, also from the University of Melbourne.  These […]

 
Tooti Fruity

The correct way to break a rambutan open is to use a knife. I call that the coward’s way. If you’re a lawless rebel like me, you bite into it whole, cringing at the sudden bitterness the break in the skin fills your mouth with, then use your teeth to rip the rest of it away.

 
Diaspora Dilemmas

In an age where we can barely last the year without
buying a new smartphone and throw ageing possessions before they have a chance to decay, it’s puzzling why we still refuse to throw away the remnants of the toxic colonial mindset.

 
All that Glitters is not Gold

While it is a privilege to be able to afford an education abroad, many unspoken costs like underpaid wages, homesickness, cultural shock, financial instability and underemployment came as a surprise. But as an international student, I’m not sure if these costs are worth the price our parents pay.

 
Kiss and Tell

After my breakup with the Michael Clifford lookalike, I started seeing more people of colour. Not that Michael Clifford ruined white men for me, I just felt more comfortable around people like me.

 
NUS Thursday Ballot

Ballots will be cast this morning, determining the National Union of Students (NUS) leadership for 2020. Ahead of today’s vote, Farrago can confirm the results of many key positions that now stand unopposed following withdrawals from candidates. Votes are being cast until 1:30 pm by NUS delegates and proxies outside Studio Theatre in the building.  […]

 
Farrago 1999 vs Farrago 2019: What’s Changed?

Earlier this year, a friend took me to a party hosted by Guy Rundle, the Melbourne writer, in his flat in South Yarra. People perched on the edge of couches and drank wine from coffee mugs as if it were a student party, even though most of the attendees were twice that age. Somehow the topic of Farrago came up, and I mentioned that I had co-edited the magazine in 1999. Guy introduced me to two other former editors who were there: Prue from 1988 and Sean from 1992.

 
2019 NatCon Liveblog

Here are our live updates of #nusnatcon2019

 
Tutorial Torture

Last semester, I graduated from the University of Melbourne with a Bachelor of Science. I am overall complimentary about the teaching I experienced, but one area my experience has been inconsistent, to say the least, is tutorials. This got me thinking: what is the best way to support students consolidating what they learn in lectures? I spoke to students, tutors and lecturers to see how they felt about tutorials. What I found was that many factors influence the (sometimes contradictory) opini

 
Stalls for All

The Stalls For All report published by the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) Queer department has found a need to change bathroom facilities due to exclusionary tendencies towards trans, intersex and gender diverse staff and students.

 
Academic Freedom to Hate

The University defends the employment of these academics and their right to express their views. “The University must be a place for the exchange and challenge of knowledge and ideas, undertaken with a shared respect for competing points of view,” Vice Chancellor Duncan Maskell says.

But, should academic freedom of speech override the right of students and staff to feel safe on campus?

On one side sits the University of Melbourne and select members of its faculty. On the other,

 
Stand Up for your new student representatives

The 2019 University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) annual elections are wrapped up, with long-standing ticket Stand Up! recording a landslide victory.

 
Edition Seven Editorial

We acknowledge Farrago is created on land that always has and always will belong to the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. This land is stolen and sovereignty was never ceded, and no acknowledgement is enough to give it back. We pay respect to elders past, present and emerging, and to all Aboriginal and Torres […]

 
Review: Knives Out

Rian Johnson’s modern murder mystery is the most fun you’ll have in a movie theatre this year, and it’s smart enough that its many pleasures come totally guilt-free.

 
2020 UMSU Budget Liveblog

Follow our updates for UMSU’s budget in 2020 here.

 
Review: NT Live: Fleabag

Fleabag was a like a surprisingly uncomfortable massage into knots I didn’t know I had. Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s one woman show kneaded into my internalised shame surrounding: my sexuality, my adolescent selfishness and the healthy mix of narcissism and crippling insecurity that’s etched into my 20-something soul. I left the cinema feeling looser and better for […]

 
Review: The Report

Scott Z. Burns’ rigorous dramatisation of the real-life investigation into the CIA’s use of torture after 9/11 is as meticulous and uncompromising as its subject. What does it mean today to make a film so rigidly devoted to the truth? Multiple times during the 2-hour runtime of The Report, I found myself watching Adam Driver’s […]

 
Review: Joker

One of the most highly anticipated films of the year, Todd Phillips’ Joker (2019) has cackled and danced into cinemas with a resounding BANG! This newest iteration of the clown menace has had a lot to live up to, with viewers wondering if Joaquin Phoenix’s portrayal will join Heath Ledger’s The Dark Night (2008) performance […]

 
Fate of refugee activists’ “Divest from Detention” campaign against Melbourne University unclear

Refugee advocacy group RISE has renewed calls for the University of Melbourne to sever ties with detention centre security, after the group’s initial divestment campaign was undermined by misinformation.

 
See You Later, Space Cowboy

The words resonate as they pass through Annalise’s sunken mind but like a shooting star; disappearing into the void as quickly as they came.

 
Gums

Your fungus / begins to / age inside / its new / porcelain cage.

 
Woof

when someone asks / what I want to be when I grow up / I respond / a dog.

 
The Fairytale Gazette: Part 7

Murder and general mayhem sound just like your good old-fashioned fairy tales, something left behind in the myths and legends that belong in forgotten derelict book-shelves. Beware sensationalism but the reality is that it’s all just life, kids.

 
Cooking Words

Unwrapping the tinfoil, Oops, the intonation of a sentence / is overcooked; the content of a sentence is / meaningless.

 
Flash Fiction: Puppets

100-words-or-less pieces about ghosts for Farrago 2019 Edition 7.

 
Police response to mining protests reach boiling point

Seventeen activists were arrested on the second day of the International Mining and Resources Conference (IMARC) amid Victoria Police’s increasingly violent response to the IMARC blockade. Police also upped the ante, employing large amounts of pepper spray at least four times today. The effects of pepper spray are more severe than those of tear gas.

 
I was pepper sprayed by police at IMARC (even though I was a journalist)

Today, it didn’t matter who you were—young or old, protester or observer—no one was exempt from the tyrannical-style of brutality displaced by Victoria Police.

At approximately 9:20am this morning (only half an hour after arriving), myself and another Farrago reporter were pepper sprayed by police. And before you ask; no, neither of us were involved in the protest.

 
Waters of South Lawn bloodied in protest of University sponsorship of mining conference

The waters of the South Lawn moat flowed crimson on Wednesday 23 October as protestors gathered in opposition to the University’s involvement in the upcoming International Mining and Resources Conference (IMARC).

 
The Lighthouse and the Mechanic

The two of us still pretending to be butterflies, holed up in our terraced cocoon for weeks watching the fists of clouds paint the sky winter white.

 
Secret Servings

My mother is in the kitchen, a tiny moving blur amongst maroon teak cabinets. Sunlight is pouring in and I am bent over my homework, scribbling away to glory, when I cough.

 
The Fairytale Gazette: Part 6

Murder and general mayhem sound just like your good old-fashioned fairy tales, something left behind in the myths and legends that belong in forgotten derelict book-shelves. Beware sensationalism but the reality is that it’s all just life, kids.

 
Tales of Tragedy Through Art and Post-Human Madness

Chris Martin’s thin lips glisten under the stage lights as he succinctly delivers the monologue.

 
drifting

i would ask you things / and you would only look / upon me / and spit on me softly

 
Pink

The room could sense something different about this body. Different, but not unfamiliar. It could feel the body’s heartbeat echoing through the soles of their feet, casting shockwaves up the walls.

 
A Thing with Feathers: Part 6

In Greek myth Thanatos, the god of death, was said to be as beautiful as Eros. Death could be like having a love arrow shot in you—but what do you focus on?

 
Flash Fiction: Unsolicited Advice

100-words-or-less pieces about unsolicited advice for Farrago 2019 Edition 6.

 
Paint to Poetry: In the Pink

Sarah plays on the association of colours and words to write her poetry column for Farrago, using Taubman’s paint samples from Bunnings.

 
Regulating Language

To many of us, the idea of languages tied to a country seems normal. People in England speak English, people in Japan speak Japanese, people in Croatia speak Croatian, and so on. Is this a hard and fast rule? Of course not, but to some extent it’s still considered the norm. But why does this perception exist when it’s not the case with the majority of languages?

 
How Death Brought an Atheist Closer to God: An Exploration into the Mental State of a Grieving Mind

I shrouded myself in the scent of frosted berries. The autumn breeze drifted into my room as I dressed. It was Mother’s Day. However, as I wore my linen turtleneck and gold earrings, the day felt heavy on my shoulders. In many ways, it was ironic that it was Mother’s Day. My mother’s grief floods through the phone with each call this past year. That morning, she calls me and tells me how she slept next to my Aunty the previous night. She tells me about the groans of pain that were substituted

 
Burn City Sound Systems: How Sound System Music is Shaking Melbourne’s Underground Music Scene

Melbourne’s underground music scene is a living organism I had always been aware of but was never cool or curious enough to dive into and experience. Then, two years ago, I was dragged unwittingly to a dub music event—known in the scene as a “dance”—expecting dubstep and to have a terrible time. Instead I was welcomed into a community dedicated to growing their scene, to making important strides in pursuit of social justice, and to throwing an awesome party.

 
Living Well When You’re Unwell

Welcome to Living Well When You’re Unwell—a column that answers all your questions about navigating uni, life, relationships, and jobs with disability and chronic illness.

 
Double Take

Whether you wake up an hour early to apply your ten-step Korean skincare routine and full-face beat, or roll out of bed and straight through the front door, the impact of the beauty industry plays on our self-perception and esteem feels undeniable.

 
Diaspora Dilemmas

Have you ever walked into the wrong lecture during week 1 of the semester? There’s something about the anxiety and the irreplaceable feeling of everyone’s eyes on
you that nothing else can quite replicate.

 
Kiss and Tell

It was July 23rd. I waited at Melbourne Airport’s Rideshare pick-up zone for about 6 minutes before the black Honda HR-V arrived. The driver helped me with my luggage—as most drivers at the airport do. We got in the car and the questions began.

 
Local Man Ready to Give Up as Third Group Chat Message in a Row is Left on Seen

A local man has today been left wondering where it all went wrong after he messaged a group chat hoping to grab some beers tonight, but was instead served absolute donuts.

 
What’s in a tree? Melbourne’s best kept secret is at The Dax Centre

In your hurry to class you might have rushed past Australia’s only heritage-listed art collection. Tucked away in a quiet corner on the University of Melbourne’s Parkville campus sits over 16,000 artworks, one of only three collections in the world of its kind. “Someone once said to me that The Dax Centre was Melbourne’s best kept secret,” said director Charmaine Smith.

 
Feathered Friend Fuels Facebook Feud

Baillieu Library’s resident albino pigeon has become the source of a heated Facebook debate between students attempting to name the bird.

Over semester break, the Facebook page Pigeon at the Baillieu Library ran an online competition to determine its name.

 
Students and staff join global climate strike with green light from the University

On Friday 20 September, a contingent of University of Melbourne students and staff attended the Global Climate Strike, with the unprecedented endorsement of the University.

 
UMSU International expresses concerns with constitutional changes

On Friday 13 September, the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) and UMSU International signed an agreement to address UMSU International’s concerns about the constitutional changes passed during the Special General Meeting (SGM) on 17 September.

 
Review: The Bride Test

The Bride Test is a really pure novel. It explores the intricacies of family, immigration, mental health, grief and so much more.

 
WATCH: Kashmir: No Longer Special

World’s most militarized zone and India’s only Muslim majority region, Kashmir, was stripped of its special status under Article 370 by the Indian government last month. Amidst an indefinite lockdown, Kashmiris in Melbourne raise their voice against the decision. Dilpreet Kaur reports. ?????

 
Djab Wurrung Protests Against CPB

In the early hours of 29 August, protestors gathered outside of CPB Contractors office building to criticise their involvement in the Western Highway Upgrade, which will cause the destruction of Djab Wurrung land and sacred trees.

 
Review: Julia Michaels

We all have an inner monologue, that little persistent voice inside that narrates our every thought and feeling, but Julia Michaels has taken it to the next level, bringing her Inner Monologue Tour to Melbourne, for one night only.

 
UMSU 2019 Elections Results Live

Welcome to Farrago‘s liveblog of the University of Melbourne Student Union election results. We’ll be posting results for all positions live from the count room as they come in. Alain Nguyen and Stephanie Zhang will be giving you a live count and analysis of the initial wave of results as polls close. You can view […]

 
UMSU Elections 2019 Live Updates

Follow Farrago’s coverage of the 2019 University of Melbourne Student Union here.

 
UMSU Elections Rundown: the who and the what of student election season explained

Well, well, well. It’s that time of year again: student election season. Unfortunately, it’s a time many of us dread. The university grounds become overrun with student politics hopefuls donning an array of coloured shirts and handing out flyers. They’ll be asking for your vote and trying to promote their policies on improving the student experience, and they may even chase you down on your way to class to chew your ear off.

 
Regulating Language

Because of the cumulative effects of assimilation over many generations, Ainu’s uniqueness is in danger of being lost forever. There are only a handful of native speakers left—perhaps as few as fifteen—and all of them are elderly. While there is a much higher number of second-language speakers with varying degrees of fluency, without concerted efforts to protect it, Ainu’s chances of survival are, sadly, quite low.

 
The History of the Dildo

Ever wonder how ancient humans passed all those cold nights in stony caves, or when we realised a little added buzz could go a long way? Well, welcome to the history lesson they’re still refusing to teach. From forgotten literary works to surprising archaeological discovers, it’s clear our ancestors were getting down with their bad selves long before Christian Grey. So, without further ado, let’s jump in our time machine and get ready for the ride of our lives. It’s time to learn about the D™

 
Kiss and Tell

Pine. Verb. Erund or present participle: pining • Miss or long for. “She’s still pining for them” I’ve never pined for someone. I think pining for someone is a complete waste of time and energy. Oh, you’re hurt? Well, suck it up. It’s not the end of the world. It happens, you know? Break ups. […]

 
Diaspora Dilemmas

If you explained the premise of the movie 127 Hours to any ‘third culture kid’, almost all of us would be able to substitute ourselves in for the protagonist. Being stuck between a rock and a hard place is a sentiment we know all too well.

 
Living Well When You’re Unwell

Welcome to Living Well When You’re Unwell, a column that answers all your questions about navigating uni, life, relationships, and jobs with disability and chronic illness.

 
Edition Five Editorial

The campus has been a ghost town the last couple of months while we were putting Edition 5 together. It’s our busiest time of year right now with lots of media-related projects on the go—so a little bit of peace and quiet was probably necessary—but we’re so excited to have people in and out of the office asking us for stuff again with the new semester commencing. If you find yourself in Union House, come and say hello sometime! The media space and office is on Level 4, and our door is always

 
Desperate Lecturer Resorts to Using Clickbait Lecture Titles to Bring Up Attendance

Due to recent slump in lecture attendance, history lecturer, Dr. Lindsey Farrow, has decided to spice things up. Inspired by highly viewed YouTube content, Dr. Farrow has reportedly begun using clickbait titles in order to get her students excited about learning and attending.

 
Diversity Issues in UMSU International

On 13th May 2019, the University of Melbourne Student Union (UMSU) International elected a new committee which will lead the union from
August 2019 to July 2020. This year’s newly elected committee continues the trend of previous years’ of having dominance by students from South
East Asian countries such as Singapore, Malaysia and Indonesia. To Farrago’s understanding, every member of the current committee is from Asia.

 
Mudfest Regeneration from August 21-28

The University’s biennial student-run arts festival Mudfest will run August 21-28.

 
Messages

Collaged text, messages from friends.

 
The Fairytale Gazette

After damning allegations that Red Riding Hood left her missing grandmother to fend for herself in the woods, she has now pronounced that her grandmother has been found dead at the edge of the woods.

 
How to Emulate the Love Queens

Found poem from The Naughty Book for Girls by Candice Hill, which maintains a 1.83 star review on Goodreads.

 
Studio Flat

It’s a passive act to survive entirely on spinach & food textures more usually chewed in the thick of an apocalyptic-type emergency.

 
Murukami’s Nightmare (808s & Fantasy Vol. 2)

Murukami sits in a sole green bog in an ashen wasteland, knees pinned to ground by rusting nails. His arms, detached, caress and cradle his head as an acid wind blows harshly.

 
Back Home

I remember my mum’s friends gossiping (dark eyes darting, pink lips pursing around sour words) about another woman’s daughter who went to the USA, about how it ‘turned her gay’, “she shouldn’t bring it back here.”

 
A Thing with Feathers: Part 5

You’re reading Hellboy in Hell—cornered in a pocket of the Brunswick library—the collected trade paperback of the original comics run. Hellboy is in Hell, because. He falls as a beating heart through the mouth of a petrified giant.

 
my year on the dance floor

Drowning in the weight of becoming, nobody could have guessed the simple noise it left ringing in our ears.

 
Flash Fiction: Ghosts

100-words-or-less pieces about ghosts for Farrago 2019 Edition 6.

 
Employment Prospects

After long hours of studying, sleepless nights, endless assignments and exams, successes and failures, graduation day feels surreal. It seems like in the blink of an eye, your entire university life is over, and it’s time for the next chapter. Many students turn to university programs that aim to provide resources and guidance to job seekers. However, these systems are not without fault, and raise questions as to how useful they are in practice. This anxiety is always hidden behind the euphor

 
Muslim MLS Student Accuses Faculty of Intimidation

Melbourne Law School (MLS) student X* has accused the MLS of misusing its power through intimidation and silencing. This accusation arose after his attempts at raising concerns with the Associate Dean and submitting an open letter to the Law students newspaper De Minimis. The article criticised what he saw as the MLS’s failure to address structural issues Muslim students face in the legal community.

 
Review: X-Men: Dark Phoenix

Returning to the Dark Phoenix Saga 13 years after X-Men: The Last Stand, X-Men: Dark Phoenix is tasked with retelling the Jean Grey story in a manner that is sufficiently fresh and respectful to the series’ first attempt, all the while winning the approval of new and dedicated fans.

 
Review: Normal People

In this sense, Normal People isn’t a groundbreaking story. It’s a story about all of these things—life, love, change, and coexistence—about which story after story have already been written. It grounds these ideas in four turbulent years of late adolescence and early adulthood, imperfect and unforgettable all at the same time.

 
Review: Dedicated

For a singer who is largely known by her one-off viral hits and saxophone-riffs-made-into-memes, Carly Rae Jepsen is remarkably serious about her craft. 

 
Review: Come From Away

Come From Away is an exploration of community and hope. Taking place in Gander, Newfoundland, the musical tells the true stories of 38 diverted planes on September 11 2001 and the days that followed. The Melbourne show’s 12 person cast delves into a series of characters – townsfolk and plane people – who share fears and hopes alike. The show will make you laugh and cry.

 
Rise in Sexual Misconduct Reports to the University

Sexual misconduct allegations have risen from eight in 2017 to 23 in 2018, according to documents released by the University of Melbourne.The documents, which include both responses to requests made within and outside the Freedom of Information Act (FOI), shed light on how the University has disciplined students accused of sexual assault and harassment.

 
Kiss and Tell

My romantic life has always been one that is tumultuous. To my friends, it’s one heck of a reality tv show that is always on demand – ready to provide spicy content, tears and drama. A real life ‘The Bachelorette’ that they so happily tune in to weekly or have a one-sitting binge watch. 

 
A Fight for $75 is a Fight for Freedom

Last year, I had been accepted to study the Master of Social Policy at the University of Melbourne. It was something that I was encouraged to do by the Professor of my undergrad, the Bachelor of Youth Work at Victoria University, due to my academic achievement, passion for youth issues, and a commitment to social justice on a structural level. I felt ecstatic, even though I did see a bit of an irony., Three years of hard work only to be rewarded with a further laborious three years? 

 
The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill: The Spontaneous Flight to Iceland

The University of Melbourne’s Creative Literature and Writing Society present The Remarkable Quests of Raddish and Quill, a collaborative column for Farrago.

 
This is a story about a woman eating her husband’s liver.

I want to say that death is just a wound things grow around and that I Miss the way the world tasted back then, before life touched me like that, Cold Finger pressed to my Tongue; hurts like freezer-burn, tastes like freezer-burn.

 
Masters Hold a Meeting Over Wine

“Do you have wine?” Rebuffed inquired in a raspy voice.“No,” replied Oost. “Why? Should I?”Rebuffed inclined her head. “I just assumed.”Oost was silent for a time, perplexed. Rebuffed filled the space: “You know. Since we’re here.”

 
Flash Fiction: Periods

100-words-or-less pieces about periods for Farrago 2019 Edition 4.

 
The Fairytale Gazette: Part 4

Murder and general mayhem sound just like your good old-fashioned fairy tales, something left behind in the myths and legends that belong in forgotten derelict book-shelves. Beware sensationalism but the reality is that it’s all just life, kids.

 
UM… What? A comprehensive guide to the history of our Student Union

For over 130 years, UMSU has been the heart of student life at the University of Melbourne. The history of the Union is heavily entwined with activism, radical politics and power struggles. Delving into the archives offers a detailed reflection of the issues facing students throughout the decades. Even the soon-to-be demolished Union House has layers of history hidden in plain sight: from anti-conscription barricades and police raids, to refugees avoiding deportation in a back room.

 
The Cursed Girl and the Cat and the Apocalypse

Time to implement the plan! Dude, get the car, the maps, I know we’re starting out in suburbs but I swear to God we’ll make it to the mountains, we fucking have to.

 
Mythologies

It has become more or less axiomatic that if women want to achieve equality in our time, we must first strip ourselves bare—revealing our worst shames, heartaches and sins so that we may be seen as utterly human. To be a woman in public these days is—more often than not—to be in the business of confession.

 
Faulty Fizzles

The bath bomb had been a delight for about five minutes. The walls became soaked in the scents of pear and cinnamon as the bomb fizzled into a pool of green. With her classical playlist serenading her, Jesmintha enjoyed her muscles sighing and her thoughts slowing their buzzing wings. Then the twitching began.

 
The Meaning of Wilderness

The word ‘wilderness’ conjures images of towering trees, forest paths, bubbling brooks and open skies. There are no buildings, no signs of human habitation, and there is a stillness or silence punctuated only by the wind, birdsong or animals scampering over leaf litter. This form of wilderness is linked to a longing for a life that is more in touch with the natural world. At the same time, this wilderness, in its emphasis on pristine, untouched nature, excludes human beings. How can we exist

 
Review: serpentwithfeet

This stripped-back set allowed for an immensely intimate performance where nothing else mattered besides the otherworldly falsetto voice onstage, and the introspective artist it belonged to.

 
Lecturer faces plagiarism charges after ‘borrowing’ memes to use in PowerPoint slides

There was tension in the air last night as media lecturer Jean Paul LeVol took a Cersei-esque walk of shame to the Dean’s office, after he was accused of plagiarism by failing to reference memes used in his PowerPoint slides. The University was notified of the lecturer’s theft after the Learning Management System (LMS) reported […]

 
A Pocket Of Peace In The Australian Bushland

I’ve found that my anxiety lessens on bushwalks. Standing still, the cool breeze against my skin, able to hear birds, frogs, and the rustle of leaves in the wind. I am able to free myself of societal constraints, prejudice and discrimination.

 
Am I Doing It Right?

Front-man Georgia Maq closed Camp Cope’s Falls Festival 2017 act demanding that 2018 be the year that minorities take to the forefront of the music scene. As I stood on the grass field, surrounded by hundreds of fans applauding this controversial statement—their song The Opener takes aim at the exclusionary nature of the industry with lines such as “yeah just get a female opener, that’ll fill the quota” and “it’s another straight cis man who knows more about this than me”—I found myself wonde

 
Review: Conrad Sewell

By 7pm, there was already a spate of eager concert-goers, lining the paint filled Hosier Lane.By 8pm, the mosh pit was filling up.

 
Review: Sometimes Always Never

Sometimes Always Never is at its best when it stays true to its core. It is a simple narrative. One that is hardly resolved and has no beginning, middle and end in the larger scheme of things. But it is a wonderful character analysis. An amazing exploration of love, despair and hope.

 
Review: El Vito!

Never did I think the question, “Ever had a dream?” and all the self-doubt and fear of rejection which comes with that question, would be so aptly summed up for me by a one-woman operatic show. Mari-Poša, mezzo-soprano, known simply on stage as Maria, delivers a soulful and vocally powerful performance in El Vito!, performed in Melbourne CBD’s quirky and cool Butterfly Club, accompanied by the heartfelt talents of pianist Julian Wade.

 
Review: Fern Brady: Power and Chaos

Scottish comic Fern Brady returns to Melbourne in 2019 for her second appearance at the MICF with her show Power and Chaos, following last year’s Suffer, Fools! and a successful year on the London circuit. Many Aussies would know Fern from her explosive Live at the Apollo set last year, where she came out as bisexual live on air and infuriated the notoriously homophobic Democratic Unionist Party in Northern Ireland. It probably didn’t help that she accused their leader of being a

 
Review: Felicity Ward: Busting a Nut

I don’t really know where the title for Felicity Ward’s latest show comes from. Honestly I’m not sure if I missed something, but I’m pretty sure it’s just something she thought would be funny. That’s not to say it doesn’t make sense; it does. Felicity’s comedy is bold enough, loud enough, and has enough singing and crying that I wouldn’t be surprised if some audience members didn’t bust their own nuts laughing along the way.

 
Review: The Selected Works of Abdullah the Cossack

I would say that H.M. Naqvi knows a lot of words. He, or at least his protagonist Abdullah, would prefer I call him verbose. Or maybe not even that. What about bombastic, magniloquent, fustian? If you had to look up any of those then you would know how I felt reading Naqvi’s second novel, The Selected Works of Abdullah the Cossack, a sprawling romp through Abdullah’s beloved city of Currachee, Pakistan. You would also realise that verbose and fustian don’t necessarily connote positive vibes.

 
Review: Groovin the Moo

Nestled in the regional town of Bendigo this weekend were thousands of festival goers, dressed to impress and with plenty of glitter in tow. Groovin the Moo was back in town on 4 May (yes, there were Jedis, Storm Troopers and Wookies in the crowd, for those wondering) for its 11th year at the Prince of Wales Showgrounds. In 2017, promoter Steve Haplin said that around 20,000 people attended. From a glance, it seems safe to say that the number of people was just as big, if not even bigger, thi

 
Review: Poopie Tum Tums

Signing up to review an unnamed sketch comedy show that your editors placed up for grabs in the Media Collective Facebook group is like a Tinder date. You get dressed up, agree to meet up at a bar couple hours after dark and hope that it would not end with you feeling violated in any way. I wish I could say that I walked out of Poopie Tum Tums with a sore stomach and a thirst for more, but alas, that was not the case. My housemate (whom I begrudgingly dragged to this 10pm show) and I both wal

 
Review: People Suck: A Musical Airing of Grievances

If you’ve ever sat through a really long rant from a mate because their date flaked out on them or someone stole their lunch at the office, you would already have a sense of what People Suck: A Musical Airing of Grievances is about. It is an hour-long song cycle with an indisputable premise: all the ways people suck. With its catchy melodies and strong vocal performance, the cast takes you through jealous bridesmaids, anti-vaxxers, the different types of annoying people at your office and man

 
Review: The Big HOO-HAA!

It was with much anticipation that I waited for one of the longest-running improv shows in the country to start. The Big HOO-HAA! usually occurs every Friday night at the Butterfly Club, but they were making a few exceptions for the Melbourne International Comedy Festival. The show has been crowned “the original and the best” improv comedy ensemble in Melbourne, and it is easy to see why. A couple minutes in and they’ve got the crowd howling with laughter.

 
Review: MTC Violent Outburst

Every year Melbourne Theatre Company (MTC) produces an education show, which is presented in the intimate Lawler Theatre before going on a regional tour. These productions have often been some of my favourite produced by the company, as they can afford to take more risks in script, actor and staging choices than in main stage productions. The 2019 education performance is The Violent Outburst that Drew Me to You, a 70 minute play by the Australian playwright Finegan Kruckemeyer. Directed by P